@darthbluesky.bsky.social it is my great pleasure to present to you this gorgeous huskador. His name is Zeke and he turns 13 today.

“Please consider adopting this big, beautiful baby. Patience and training will enhance this marvelous dog’s wonderful personality.” = he is, in fact, a big beautiful baby, he’s marvelous, and I’m lucky to know him. ❤️

“Zeke would be best as the only pet.” = this dog is a sociopath, but for other dogs, especially collies. He will also prove terrifying to the electrician who remarks on your “Irish temper” and asks if you’re a natural redhead when the air conditioner breaks in the spring of 2014.

“Zeke would love an active athletic owner who likes to run, run, run.” = the only person who will ever be able to wear out this dog is a former world-class karate practitioner in his early 20s, and even that will only last about half an hour.

“crate trained” = his crate is the size of a small car but he’ll go into it at bedtime, which is something at least; however, on random nights of his choosing, he’ll issue a blood-curdling howl out of nowhere at 3 a.m. He’ll keep this up until you either get up or let him sleep in your bed.

On this, the eve of his 13th birthday, allow me the pleasure of roasting Zeke’s adoption ad.

“Zeke is ‘Movie Star’ beautiful.” = the only actually honest part of this ad.

“possibly Husky mix” = he sings like Pavoratti whenever he’s in his feelings, which is often.

Boys watering plants. Heat lightning in the distance. Cicadas in the trees. Crickets in the grass. Summer is everything.

As my sister said earlier today, Tyler Childers’ latest brings all the feelings. 🥺

It’s the smile that says, “I’m going to wake you up at 2 a.m. thwacking my tail against the blinds because there’s thunder within a 50-mile radius.”

Got caught in a bit of a storm tonight.