if nothing else, when i do go, i just want them to understand i have always done the best that i could, to be good and to teach others to be as well. i have always tried so, so hard. and i truly cannot say if people know or care or will meet that effort and pay it forward. but i tried. i really did.

but until i can say i have, in truth and grace, done my very best to leave this world and what souls i can affect better than i found them, it is not yet time to sleep. there is work to be done and i am obligated to goodness and the fervent wish to see it realized by whatever small powers i do have

maybe in another version of this life, under different world conditions and with a brain that didn't seem to have both foresight and truesight while feeling that all thoughts are invasive and unasked for, i would feel differently? but this is the life i have, and we do not choose what we inherit.

moreover, the idea that other people would feel some type of way about that also feels like a burden. idk how to explain that i don't want or need people to want me around and that hearing that only makes me sleepier, actually. life and people i just find, on the whole, to be exhausting.

Microsoft is a crater of filth ruled by cruel imbeciles who don’t understand basic facts about the industries they hungrily exploit.

Its executives are *deeply* stupid people who mistake their predatory ruthlessness for savvy. If they all melted in hot slag tomorrow, the world wouldn’t be worse.