Alex Kaloostian
@alexkaloostian.bsky.social
💻Desktop engineer @ MIT Lincoln Laboratory, ☠️forsaken rogue, 👨👩👦👦father of two. 📚Master of Tsundoku. 🐦⬛Birds arent real. 🏳️⚧️Protect trans kids and 👊punch nazis.
I’ll eat that pickle if you don’t want it.
I’ll eat that pickle if you don’t want it.
Pinned
Women & cats will do as they please, and men & dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
October 2, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Women & cats will do as they please, and men & dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Who knew that Apple sneakily added background sounds and ambient music to iOS?
www.digitalminimalist.com/blog/apple-i...
www.digitalminimalist.com/blog/apple-i...
Apple introduces new Ambient Music feature
A free soundscapes player for sleep, focus, and relaxation, right from your control center.
www.digitalminimalist.com
September 26, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Who knew that Apple sneakily added background sounds and ambient music to iOS?
www.digitalminimalist.com/blog/apple-i...
www.digitalminimalist.com/blog/apple-i...
Reposted by Alex Kaloostian
This is the greatest thing I have seen all day and if you’re not seeing it right now that is OK because I will be posting it over and over and over again
Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.
September 20, 2025 at 3:57 AM
This is the greatest thing I have seen all day and if you’re not seeing it right now that is OK because I will be posting it over and over and over again
"You hit me with the phone., dick!"
September 18, 2025 at 11:37 PM
"You hit me with the phone., dick!"
Deaths from random shootings in the U.S. are far too high, but under 1,000 a year.
Meanwhile, 200,000 people die of deaths of despair- depression, suicide, substance abuse and loneliness.
Please don't let these tragedies stop you from letting your kids out in public to run free and live their lives.
Meanwhile, 200,000 people die of deaths of despair- depression, suicide, substance abuse and loneliness.
Please don't let these tragedies stop you from letting your kids out in public to run free and live their lives.
September 11, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Deaths from random shootings in the U.S. are far too high, but under 1,000 a year.
Meanwhile, 200,000 people die of deaths of despair- depression, suicide, substance abuse and loneliness.
Please don't let these tragedies stop you from letting your kids out in public to run free and live their lives.
Meanwhile, 200,000 people die of deaths of despair- depression, suicide, substance abuse and loneliness.
Please don't let these tragedies stop you from letting your kids out in public to run free and live their lives.
Your web site requires MFA? great.
You wont support an authenticator, only email or sms? Burn in hell.
You wont support an authenticator, only email or sms? Burn in hell.
August 8, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Your web site requires MFA? great.
You wont support an authenticator, only email or sms? Burn in hell.
You wont support an authenticator, only email or sms? Burn in hell.
When you're in flip-flops buying plumber's putty at 9:30 at night and the guy at Home Depot tells you to have a good night
an older man in a brown jacket is standing in front of a tree and saying no .
ALT: an older man in a brown jacket is standing in front of a tree and saying no .
media.tenor.com
July 29, 2025 at 10:52 AM
When you're in flip-flops buying plumber's putty at 9:30 at night and the guy at Home Depot tells you to have a good night
Reposted by Alex Kaloostian
I asked ChatGPT what will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what it said to me:
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
STICK YOUR HAND IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what it said to me:
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
STICK YOUR HAND IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
July 27, 2025 at 4:47 AM
I asked ChatGPT what will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what it said to me:
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
STICK YOUR HAND IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what it said to me:
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
STICK YOUR HAND IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
Web site: "Before entering you must verify your age Please scan your driver's license or other ID."
Me: "all right all right, hold on." *groans as I get out of chair*
Web site: "Never mind, your age is verified."
Me: "all right all right, hold on." *groans as I get out of chair*
Web site: "Never mind, your age is verified."
July 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Web site: "Before entering you must verify your age Please scan your driver's license or other ID."
Me: "all right all right, hold on." *groans as I get out of chair*
Web site: "Never mind, your age is verified."
Me: "all right all right, hold on." *groans as I get out of chair*
Web site: "Never mind, your age is verified."
"Have you ever used the 7 button on your microwave?" Should be a calibration question when administering a polygraph.
July 25, 2025 at 2:40 PM
"Have you ever used the 7 button on your microwave?" Should be a calibration question when administering a polygraph.
SO annoying that Superman is woke now...
wait... thats from the Snyder movie? Never mind...
wait... thats from the Snyder movie? Never mind...
July 25, 2025 at 1:20 PM
SO annoying that Superman is woke now...
wait... thats from the Snyder movie? Never mind...
wait... thats from the Snyder movie? Never mind...
I was discussing movie plots on Reddit and I said "well what constitutes a full story vs an arc can be subjective" and they said "its not subjective to me" and thats when I knew I was done with Reddit for the night.
July 21, 2025 at 1:03 PM
I was discussing movie plots on Reddit and I said "well what constitutes a full story vs an arc can be subjective" and they said "its not subjective to me" and thats when I knew I was done with Reddit for the night.
Bucket list item: check
July 19, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Bucket list item: check
Dont half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing. Give it your all. And if youre going to fail, fail so spectacularly that Jenny Nicholson makes a 4-hour video about it.
July 18, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Dont half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing. Give it your all. And if youre going to fail, fail so spectacularly that Jenny Nicholson makes a 4-hour video about it.
Interviewer: "Youve been on dozens of animated series and several feature films. How do you cultivate so many different voices?"
H Jon Benjamin: "Different voices?"
H Jon Benjamin: "Different voices?"
July 16, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Interviewer: "Youve been on dozens of animated series and several feature films. How do you cultivate so many different voices?"
H Jon Benjamin: "Different voices?"
H Jon Benjamin: "Different voices?"
Somewhere in America, someone out there doesnt realize this is their last day with 10 fingers.
July 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Somewhere in America, someone out there doesnt realize this is their last day with 10 fingers.
post a picture of you that's not actually a picture of you
July 1, 2025 at 4:54 AM
post a picture of you that's not actually a picture of you
Reposted by Alex Kaloostian
Had a very surprising ChatGPT experience: asked it to generate a quick summary of the WannaCry ransomware, and instead of referencing the person who stopped it by name, it simply put "(you)". When I asked it how it was able to identify it was me, it citied its own message as something I'd said. 1/3
June 26, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Had a very surprising ChatGPT experience: asked it to generate a quick summary of the WannaCry ransomware, and instead of referencing the person who stopped it by name, it simply put "(you)". When I asked it how it was able to identify it was me, it citied its own message as something I'd said. 1/3
Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they keep on comin'
And now theyre still comin'
and I'm so old and my knees hurt
And I take more Advil and kids have blue hair
And you call that music?
And still the yearsre still comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they keep on comin'
And now theyre still comin'
and I'm so old and my knees hurt
And I take more Advil and kids have blue hair
And you call that music?
And still the yearsre still comin'
June 21, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they keep on comin'
And now theyre still comin'
and I'm so old and my knees hurt
And I take more Advil and kids have blue hair
And you call that music?
And still the yearsre still comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they don't stop comin'
And they keep on comin'
And now theyre still comin'
and I'm so old and my knees hurt
And I take more Advil and kids have blue hair
And you call that music?
And still the yearsre still comin'
On iPhone, if you hold the hold button and either volume button for a few seconds it pulls up the shut down/emergency call screen.
You dont need to shut down; thats all you have to do. Now your phone wont accept thumbprint or faceID. So cops... sorry, I mean so you cant unlock it without passcode.
You dont need to shut down; thats all you have to do. Now your phone wont accept thumbprint or faceID. So cops... sorry, I mean so you cant unlock it without passcode.
June 19, 2025 at 2:27 PM
On iPhone, if you hold the hold button and either volume button for a few seconds it pulls up the shut down/emergency call screen.
You dont need to shut down; thats all you have to do. Now your phone wont accept thumbprint or faceID. So cops... sorry, I mean so you cant unlock it without passcode.
You dont need to shut down; thats all you have to do. Now your phone wont accept thumbprint or faceID. So cops... sorry, I mean so you cant unlock it without passcode.
Bobs Burgers should do a remake of Adventures in Babysitting and I will not be taking questions at this time.
June 16, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Bobs Burgers should do a remake of Adventures in Babysitting and I will not be taking questions at this time.
Reposted by Alex Kaloostian
“I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honourable, to be compassionate. It is above all to matter. To count. To stand for something. To have it make some difference that you lived at all.”
- Leo Roston
- Leo Roston
June 14, 2025 at 7:04 PM
“I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honourable, to be compassionate. It is above all to matter. To count. To stand for something. To have it make some difference that you lived at all.”
- Leo Roston
- Leo Roston
It's 1960 and I get my all my news from the paper
It's 1990 and I get all my news from cable TV
It's 2010 and I get all my news from the internet
It's 2025 and I get all my news from Josh Johnson
It's 1990 and I get all my news from cable TV
It's 2010 and I get all my news from the internet
It's 2025 and I get all my news from Josh Johnson
a man sitting on a stool speaking into a microphone in front of a brick wall
ALT: a man sitting on a stool speaking into a microphone in front of a brick wall
media.tenor.com
June 11, 2025 at 3:08 PM
It's 1960 and I get my all my news from the paper
It's 1990 and I get all my news from cable TV
It's 2010 and I get all my news from the internet
It's 2025 and I get all my news from Josh Johnson
It's 1990 and I get all my news from cable TV
It's 2010 and I get all my news from the internet
It's 2025 and I get all my news from Josh Johnson