Alex Deris
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alexderis.bsky.social
Alex Deris
@alexderis.bsky.social
110 followers 190 following 870 posts
On second thought, let's not go to the Internet. 'Tis a silly place.
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alexderis.bsky.social
DANGER HITACHI
My hand grips an immersion blender in front of a mess of other kitchen gadgets. A mysterious red-brown sauce drips from the business end of the tool.
November 27, 2025 at 2:39 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Not sure about other places, but in the USA, "hamburger" is also just a slang term for ground beef, and Hamburger Helper helps the ground beef become something more like a full meal. Or at least that's how I interpreted it.
A box of Hamburger Helper, but it's been photoshopped to absolutely mindfuck the text to oblivion. Reads: "Fetty Ooooooo Add burmbger Gambgurger Plelper Assic Peef Blasty Nasta & Flaturally Saaaaaaauceee Enlarged to show tail NO T 5.6oz (69g) Makes about NO 1 cup servings"
October 28, 2025 at 6:21 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
I have made a margarita in a paper cup for the shower.
A paper cup with a red-orange geometric design with white accents held out in an open hand in front of a tile wall and colorful shower curtain. As the post suggests, it is full of margarita. On the rocks, of course. 2-1-1 ratio, tequila-Cointreau-lime juice, in case you were wondering.
October 8, 2025 at 12:16 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Whew, I feel ya buddy
A screenshot of an article headline with its associated image, the article title is "Psychiatric facilities are being bombarded by AI users" and the image is a stylized image of a man doing a hard and oh-so-relatable facepalm (incidentally, the image looks AI-generated itself).
October 3, 2025 at 10:56 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
Oh hey I forgot to post this picture of last night's roast beef 🍜
Two halves of an absolutely beautiful roast beef, sitting on a black cutting board; the cut sides facing the camera. The meat is a perfect rosy pink-red most of the way through, with a slight grey band around the perimeter leading out to a well-seasoned crust. The blade of a carving knife is visible in the foreground, and ripe red tomatoes are visible in the background next to a small cardboard box concealing some delicious unknown exotic ingredients.
July 24, 2025 at 5:34 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
July 15, 2025 at 2:08 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
Well sheesh, ya done got me bit by the martini bug, too
A martini in a stemless cocktail glass, garnished with a dehydrated lemon wheel
July 12, 2025 at 2:15 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Don't buy this wine, even for cooking; it is awful, ABSOLUTELY AWFUL, the absolute worst wine I have ever tasted.
June 29, 2025 at 4:02 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Had to replace a taillight on my car... This one stopped working for some reason! Something seems off about it, can't quite put my finger on it...
An automobile taillight bulb; the glass is very broken.
June 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Okay. Look. Just hear me out.
🍜
Two slices of pizza, each topped with a hotdog and an assortment of hot sauces
May 21, 2025 at 12:48 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Here's the mail it never fails
A selection of hot sauces arranged on a desk: Butterfly Bakery of Vermont Maple Rum Chipotle Irish Spike's miso habanero High Desert Sauce Co. tikk-hot masala Irish Spike's smoked ghost "beeer" mustard Goblin Boss "gobblin' sauce" Black-Eyed Susan Spice Co. "Death by Chocolate" Angry Goat Pepper Co. "Sweaty Beaver" Faiya "Purple Flame" Heartbreaking Dawn's "Cauterizer" Trinidad scorpion CaJohn's black cherry vanilla bourbon-infused chipotle-habanero Heartbreaking Dawn's 1498 Trinidad scorpion Heartbreaking Dawn's Fervor Wicked Provisions magic mushroom stout (does not contain actual psilocybin mushrooms) Hellfire Hot Sauce co. "Blueberry Hell" Heartbreaking Dawn's "1542" Southwest habanero Plus a smaller skull-shaped vial, the top dipped in silver wax The bottles are adorned with colorful labels, decorated with eye-catching graphics.
May 16, 2025 at 7:50 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
If you see this, post a sword 🗡️
I am standing in front of a bar holding a broad sword in my right hand and a bottle of Appleton Estate 12 year. A 16-pound sledgehammer is next to me for some reason, and many bottles of liquor are visible on shelves in the background. A very disorganized bookshelf is visible in the background, full of cool books. I am wearing a black Siouxsie and the Banshees T-shirt.
May 7, 2025 at 1:12 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
So I made some decisions recently
Several homemade button pins on a table in front of a shoe adorned with Sanrio characters. The buttons have various designs, including Mr. Boh, "BALLS BALLS BALLS" in white text on a black background, the "Safety first: do not fist android girls" meme, and a picture of the Pony Cum Jar with the text "HELL ON EARTH" in white print. The shoe sports a "BALLS BALLS BALLS" button.
May 3, 2025 at 4:12 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
April 8, 2025 at 4:18 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
They put this cool wrap on some of the DC Metro train cars!
A DC Metro train car with a cherry blossom themed wrap
March 25, 2025 at 12:24 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Uhhhhhhh...
Somehow I have used over 50GB of RAM, shown in Windows Task Manager
March 17, 2025 at 8:34 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
Served this up to my GF for dinner--salmon, asparagus, and parsnip puree. Fucking delicious. 🍜
A square white porcelain plate with salmon topped with herbs and lemon slices, grilled asparagus, and parsnip puree. The parsnip puree looks much like mashed potatoes. The asparagus spears are nestled into the parsnip puree.
March 1, 2025 at 5:30 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
February 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
alexderis.bsky.social
Fish and chips for dinner! 🍜
A square white porcelain plate with battered and fried cod fillet accompanied by thick cut potato fries, "fish and chips" as it is commonly known.
February 19, 2025 at 3:52 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Dinner? Pork souvlaki with fried zucchini and tzatziki!
A white square porcelain plate with an open pita sandwich containing pork souvlaki, obscured by the addition of arugula, olive slices, tomato, onion, and feta. Slices of fried zucchini, an additional piece of pita, and a ramekin of tzatziki accompany the sandwich on the plate, and a paper towel sits under the sandwich.
February 14, 2025 at 3:50 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Made salmon for dinner! It came out super tasty! 🍜
A square white porcelain plate with broiled salmon dressed in a reddish brown soy-ginger-honey-chili sauce, pan-grilled asparagus, and rice.
February 9, 2025 at 5:24 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
I just found out that my copy of La Technique that I've had for years is signed and I'm freaking out a little bit now
January 28, 2025 at 1:38 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
January 24, 2025 at 12:11 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Oh shit it's Sidewalk Slammer Saturday!
I'm wearing a Streetlight Manifesto T-shirt and pouring a can of Four Loko Gold into a half-empty Bud Ice 40-oz, making a diabolical cocktail known as a Sidewalk Slammer. I will regret this choice when I wake up tomorrow afternoon
January 19, 2025 at 1:41 AM
alexderis.bsky.social
Minecraft and an Old Pal cocktail. What a way to end an adventurous day
An Old Pal cocktail in a rocks glass with a single rough spheroid ice cube and a blood orange wheel garnish in front of a keyboard and monitor. Minecraft is shown on the monitor.
January 12, 2025 at 3:28 AM