Adobe Kenobi
@adobekenobi.bsky.social
Take it easy, but take it.
Pinned
Adobe Kenobi
@adobekenobi.bsky.social
· Sep 12
"We deserve this" is the new "This too shall pass".
The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing us a cop has to tell you they're a cop or else it's entrapment.
February 6, 2026 at 10:03 PM
The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing us a cop has to tell you they're a cop or else it's entrapment.
This is wild and absolutely newsworthy, but there is nothing in the headline that prepared me for the judge's name:
abovethelaw.com/2026/01/texa...
abovethelaw.com/2026/01/texa...
Texas Judge Charged With Unlawful Restraint For Handcuffing Attorney During Hearing - Above the Law
The indictment follows reports of erratic conduct by the judge.
abovethelaw.com
February 2, 2026 at 1:13 AM
This is wild and absolutely newsworthy, but there is nothing in the headline that prepared me for the judge's name:
abovethelaw.com/2026/01/texa...
abovethelaw.com/2026/01/texa...
Has anyone made a searchable database of names from the Epstein files yet?
I've worked for some rich assholes in the past and I'd love to win a couple of bets.
I've worked for some rich assholes in the past and I'd love to win a couple of bets.
January 31, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Has anyone made a searchable database of names from the Epstein files yet?
I've worked for some rich assholes in the past and I'd love to win a couple of bets.
I've worked for some rich assholes in the past and I'd love to win a couple of bets.
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
"I've got kids, I'm out here for them...The only way we can do this is through this kind of collective action. This is what punk rock trained us for!" -Protester tells Tina-Desiree Berg at the Minneapolis general strike march against ICE
January 30, 2026 at 10:14 PM
"I've got kids, I'm out here for them...The only way we can do this is through this kind of collective action. This is what punk rock trained us for!" -Protester tells Tina-Desiree Berg at the Minneapolis general strike march against ICE
This UberEats Matthew McConaughey ad may be the most annoying commercial ever made.
January 25, 2026 at 9:39 PM
This UberEats Matthew McConaughey ad may be the most annoying commercial ever made.
Movies should start on time but have a 25 minute intermission where the trailers and ads play so we can all check our phones and go pee.
January 18, 2026 at 2:58 AM
Movies should start on time but have a 25 minute intermission where the trailers and ads play so we can all check our phones and go pee.
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
i remember when the computer still demanded blood. my dad's Tandy took a mere pinprick from your finger, which was a revolutionary advancement from the bulky machines of the 80's that required a thimbleful to access usenet for a day. that itself was an improvement on the pint needed to join ARPANET
Without revealing your actual age,what's something you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand?
January 10, 2026 at 3:02 PM
i remember when the computer still demanded blood. my dad's Tandy took a mere pinprick from your finger, which was a revolutionary advancement from the bulky machines of the 80's that required a thimbleful to access usenet for a day. that itself was an improvement on the pint needed to join ARPANET
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
Law enforcement has more tools than ever to track your movements and access your communications. Here’s how to protect your privacy if you plan to protest. www.wired.com/story/how-to...
How to Protest Safely in the Age of Surveillance
Law enforcement has more tools than ever to track your movements and access your communications. Here’s how to protect your privacy if you plan to protest.
www.wired.com
January 8, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Law enforcement has more tools than ever to track your movements and access your communications. Here’s how to protect your privacy if you plan to protest. www.wired.com/story/how-to...
Twitter ex-pats coming to Bluesky.
January 6, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Twitter ex-pats coming to Bluesky.
Being a Cardinals, Browns, Saints, Jets, Titans, or Falcons fan sucks. But at least you know where you stand.
The reason being a Bengals fan is the worst is because they string you along like a shitty ex. Leaving the door cracked for a win. Checking in with cryptic texts. Sending birthday DMs...
The reason being a Bengals fan is the worst is because they string you along like a shitty ex. Leaving the door cracked for a win. Checking in with cryptic texts. Sending birthday DMs...
December 8, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Being a Cardinals, Browns, Saints, Jets, Titans, or Falcons fan sucks. But at least you know where you stand.
The reason being a Bengals fan is the worst is because they string you along like a shitty ex. Leaving the door cracked for a win. Checking in with cryptic texts. Sending birthday DMs...
The reason being a Bengals fan is the worst is because they string you along like a shitty ex. Leaving the door cracked for a win. Checking in with cryptic texts. Sending birthday DMs...
Feels like we skipped a few stages of capitalism if we're already eating the proletariat.
November 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Feels like we skipped a few stages of capitalism if we're already eating the proletariat.
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
pfft. rookies.
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 1:11 PM
pfft. rookies.
It doesn't matter who owns EA, sports video games peaked in 1989 with Arch Rivals.
October 14, 2025 at 10:40 AM
It doesn't matter who owns EA, sports video games peaked in 1989 with Arch Rivals.
Fun fact: Raiders owner Mark Davis holds the record for the longest running cosplayer having perfected the Uncle Fester makeover from Addams Family Values since 1993.
October 13, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Fun fact: Raiders owner Mark Davis holds the record for the longest running cosplayer having perfected the Uncle Fester makeover from Addams Family Values since 1993.
First they came for Antifa, but I did not speak out, because Antifa was imaginary.
October 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
First they came for Antifa, but I did not speak out, because Antifa was imaginary.
If there were ever a time for another Midwest state to invade Ohio, it's this Thursday.
We just had the worst 3 consecutive nights of late sports blowout losses. We are all tired and grumpy. We have nothing left.
Fuck everything. We'll be East Indiana. Whatever. Nothing matters.
We just had the worst 3 consecutive nights of late sports blowout losses. We are all tired and grumpy. We have nothing left.
Fuck everything. We'll be East Indiana. Whatever. Nothing matters.
October 2, 2025 at 4:10 AM
If there were ever a time for another Midwest state to invade Ohio, it's this Thursday.
We just had the worst 3 consecutive nights of late sports blowout losses. We are all tired and grumpy. We have nothing left.
Fuck everything. We'll be East Indiana. Whatever. Nothing matters.
We just had the worst 3 consecutive nights of late sports blowout losses. We are all tired and grumpy. We have nothing left.
Fuck everything. We'll be East Indiana. Whatever. Nothing matters.
We are being governed by a generation that had no idea Paul Lynde was gay...
September 18, 2025 at 1:33 PM
We are being governed by a generation that had no idea Paul Lynde was gay...
"We deserve this" is the new "This too shall pass".
September 12, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"We deserve this" is the new "This too shall pass".
Who at NFL+ thought the best audio for "commercial break in progress" would be random static crowd noise that's louder than the broadcast?
September 8, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Who at NFL+ thought the best audio for "commercial break in progress" would be random static crowd noise that's louder than the broadcast?
Your fantasy football team one snap into the regular season.
"I'm excited about this year's team and excited about this play-call, fellas. We've got a fast-motion... ohhh no, f*ck..." - Vikings coach Kevin O'Connell mic'd up 🤷
August 16, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Your fantasy football team one snap into the regular season.
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
The cashier at Kroger is refusing to accept my bonusly points as payment. They say it's, "fake money" and "not legal tender" and "just company scrip corporations use to give the false impression they value their employees through a gamified financial incentive to instill corporate norms". Like, wtf?
August 11, 2025 at 4:34 PM
The cashier at Kroger is refusing to accept my bonusly points as payment. They say it's, "fake money" and "not legal tender" and "just company scrip corporations use to give the false impression they value their employees through a gamified financial incentive to instill corporate norms". Like, wtf?
Reposted by Adobe Kenobi
Proposed new microsoft teams statuses:
Busy but Available
Available but not gonna do shit
Was gonna do work but then I got hungry and took an early lunch
Left early (bad stuff)
Left early (normal reasons)
Busy but Available
Available but not gonna do shit
Was gonna do work but then I got hungry and took an early lunch
Left early (bad stuff)
Left early (normal reasons)
July 30, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Proposed new microsoft teams statuses:
Busy but Available
Available but not gonna do shit
Was gonna do work but then I got hungry and took an early lunch
Left early (bad stuff)
Left early (normal reasons)
Busy but Available
Available but not gonna do shit
Was gonna do work but then I got hungry and took an early lunch
Left early (bad stuff)
Left early (normal reasons)
In my first 100 days as president I pledge that all states with "North" in their names be changed to "Up" and all "South" to "Under".
This will boost the economy or whatever.
This will boost the economy or whatever.
July 21, 2025 at 2:00 AM
In my first 100 days as president I pledge that all states with "North" in their names be changed to "Up" and all "South" to "Under".
This will boost the economy or whatever.
This will boost the economy or whatever.