I took a self defense class once and one thing the instructor said has stuck with me for 30 years. Expect pain. You WILL get hurt. And if you accept that, you can fight. But pain shocks most people into NOT fighting-they think if they stop, the pain will stop. It won’t. Expect pain, fight back.

Nurture the tender parts of yourself, the parts that feel other people's pain, the parts that understand that an injury to anyone also hurts you, and that all of our fates are connected. Evading your grief will only compound your angst and isolation, or even increase your tolerance for injustice.