I’m finally playing Breath of the Wild, and I’m so jealous of this little iPhone thing Link carries around.

It gives him superpowers? I turn on my iPhone and it just makes me depressed.

I feel bad for all the indie game devs out there making horror games right now, having to compete with reality and all.

Touch screens are boring, I miss giant buttons and dials. I want to pull a big lever to make a thing happen, I yearn to twist knobs and flip switches as steam billows from exposed brass piping.