Jimmy Zed
@zootius.bsky.social
Follow me. I don't know where we're going.
📍Yorkshire, UK
My crimes from birth: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaioxn3i4t4s
My recent skoots:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaj46radpv64
📍Yorkshire, UK
My crimes from birth: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaioxn3i4t4s
My recent skoots:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaj46radpv64
Pinned
The anemone of my anemone is my franemone
Oh, we're in the Bad Biff future
January 20, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Oh, we're in the Bad Biff future
If bears had hands instead of clawed paws, could they still kill you with their bear hands?
January 20, 2026 at 9:59 PM
If bears had hands instead of clawed paws, could they still kill you with their bear hands?
Accidentally watched a few minutes of the Kill Tony special on Netflix, as I'd never heard of it. I honestly thought it was like a I Think You Should Leave pisstake. I'm fucking baffled.
January 20, 2026 at 7:41 PM
Accidentally watched a few minutes of the Kill Tony special on Netflix, as I'd never heard of it. I honestly thought it was like a I Think You Should Leave pisstake. I'm fucking baffled.
Ooh I do hope he'll be doing the speech from Love Actually.
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
Starmer to give Downing Street speech as Trump plans 10% tariffs in Greenland row
Trump wants the
www.bbc.co.uk
January 19, 2026 at 8:08 AM
Ooh I do hope he'll be doing the speech from Love Actually.
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
Bought two "ready to eat" avocados last week. Well that was a GOD DAMNED lie
January 18, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Bought two "ready to eat" avocados last week. Well that was a GOD DAMNED lie
Look at me, liking your post and not feeling the need to comment.
Growth.
Growth.
January 18, 2026 at 7:58 AM
Look at me, liking your post and not feeling the need to comment.
Growth.
Growth.
When are Dem leaders going to publicly apologise to the world for the state of the USA today, and clearly promise to fully revert all this bullshit as soon as possible?
January 17, 2026 at 11:50 PM
When are Dem leaders going to publicly apologise to the world for the state of the USA today, and clearly promise to fully revert all this bullshit as soon as possible?
Deeply suspicious that none of my thousand blue-wave follower bots has liked my erotic potato photography
January 17, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Deeply suspicious that none of my thousand blue-wave follower bots has liked my erotic potato photography
Ever dance with a duvet in the pale moonlight?
It's new sheets day, I am building up to it.
It's new sheets day, I am building up to it.
January 17, 2026 at 12:29 PM
Ever dance with a duvet in the pale moonlight?
It's new sheets day, I am building up to it.
It's new sheets day, I am building up to it.
If only he'd renamed Twitter to "HellHole", things would be a lot clearer.
January 17, 2026 at 12:05 PM
If only he'd renamed Twitter to "HellHole", things would be a lot clearer.
The anemone of my anemone is my franemone
January 17, 2026 at 10:35 AM
The anemone of my anemone is my franemone
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to hell. It isn't even AI slop, which makes it even worse. I blame the Norwegians.
Why? Why under light steve Gutenberg? Why is Tonia Harding there? Why do some of them look like their parts were filmed in the parking lot yet others look like they were professionally filmed while recording? Why did they edit George Wendt’s clip like that? Why did they only get Vanilli?
January 17, 2026 at 8:27 AM
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to hell. It isn't even AI slop, which makes it even worse. I blame the Norwegians.
Reposted by Jimmy Zed
By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪
January 11, 2026 at 5:47 AM
By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪
Me, buying the 1924 Olympic Gold Medal for Men's 4x100 Metre Relay Race that was recently up for auction:
"Look everyone, *I* won an Olympic Gold Medal. It was ME! I won the 1924 relay race!"
"Look everyone, *I* won an Olympic Gold Medal. It was ME! I won the 1924 relay race!"
January 16, 2026 at 10:55 AM
Me, buying the 1924 Olympic Gold Medal for Men's 4x100 Metre Relay Race that was recently up for auction:
"Look everyone, *I* won an Olympic Gold Medal. It was ME! I won the 1924 relay race!"
"Look everyone, *I* won an Olympic Gold Medal. It was ME! I won the 1924 relay race!"
"We've all got to find out who did this"
January 16, 2026 at 6:44 AM
"We've all got to find out who did this"
This man is a five-year old
January 16, 2026 at 6:38 AM
This man is a five-year old
Renee Good was murdered in front of the world and nothing is going to be done about it.
January 15, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Renee Good was murdered in front of the world and nothing is going to be done about it.
REFORM: You've seen what a shithole America's turned into. Vote for these refried Tories and let's have some of that.
January 15, 2026 at 8:45 PM
REFORM: You've seen what a shithole America's turned into. Vote for these refried Tories and let's have some of that.
Fuckkkkkkkkk, fuck, FUCK Bill Ackman.
January 13, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Fuckkkkkkkkk, fuck, FUCK Bill Ackman.
Phew, I misread an article and I thought that Scott Adams was going to be a dad
January 13, 2026 at 6:35 PM
Phew, I misread an article and I thought that Scott Adams was going to be a dad
They could have just read this headline and saved a load of time.
January 11, 2026 at 9:55 AM
They could have just read this headline and saved a load of time.
Brian Badonde On Art | Facejacker
YouTube video by Hat Trick Comedy
youtu.be
January 10, 2026 at 10:10 PM
That fucker just murdered someone in the street.
January 8, 2026 at 5:29 PM
That fucker just murdered someone in the street.
Are you creating worldwide panic by upending the global order established by the end of WW2
to
A. Own the libs, or
B. Make a shitload of money during the crisis while people are distracted
They'll say it's A because it's B
to
A. Own the libs, or
B. Make a shitload of money during the crisis while people are distracted
They'll say it's A because it's B
January 7, 2026 at 10:57 AM
Are you creating worldwide panic by upending the global order established by the end of WW2
to
A. Own the libs, or
B. Make a shitload of money during the crisis while people are distracted
They'll say it's A because it's B
to
A. Own the libs, or
B. Make a shitload of money during the crisis while people are distracted
They'll say it's A because it's B
PETITION
to make the "no tumble dry" symbol absolutely massive on the clothes tag.
Then
PETITION
to make it illegal to make "no tumble dry" clothes.
to make the "no tumble dry" symbol absolutely massive on the clothes tag.
Then
PETITION
to make it illegal to make "no tumble dry" clothes.
January 7, 2026 at 10:53 AM
PETITION
to make the "no tumble dry" symbol absolutely massive on the clothes tag.
Then
PETITION
to make it illegal to make "no tumble dry" clothes.
to make the "no tumble dry" symbol absolutely massive on the clothes tag.
Then
PETITION
to make it illegal to make "no tumble dry" clothes.