Jimmy Zed
@zootius.bsky.social
Follow me. I don't know where we're going.
📍Yorkshire, UK
My crimes from birth: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaioxn3i4t4s
My recent skoots:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaj46radpv64
📍Yorkshire, UK
My crimes from birth: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaioxn3i4t4s
My recent skoots:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dz6hbi4vdmnuzispnhpvd2sk/feed/aaaj46radpv64
Pinned
Jimmy Zed
@zootius.bsky.social
· Sep 20
Yeah it's bad now, but the Plateau of Gorgoroth is absolutely ripe for gentrification. The smart money is buying a family home on the Plateau of Gorgoroth while it's relatively affordable. The orc horde isn't even that bad. See you there.
Hold up. Why did Ros Atkins' parents name him Roslyn? This is what must be investigated.
November 11, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Hold up. Why did Ros Atkins' parents name him Roslyn? This is what must be investigated.
Bill Nighy, the science gighy?
November 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Bill Nighy, the science gighy?
Reposted by Jimmy Zed
Babylon Zoo / Stiltskin level disappointment
October 23, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Babylon Zoo / Stiltskin level disappointment
Do what you love, and you never have to work a day in your life. Luckily I love circling back next week to touch base and discuss potential synergies.
November 9, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Do what you love, and you never have to work a day in your life. Luckily I love circling back next week to touch base and discuss potential synergies.
Mother, jugs, and speed please.
November 8, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Mother, jugs, and speed please.
And lo, they did make a movie called Rumble Fish. And yet I was sore afraid to watch it, because it had a stupid name.
November 8, 2025 at 4:04 PM
And lo, they did make a movie called Rumble Fish. And yet I was sore afraid to watch it, because it had a stupid name.
The Substance went on about half an hour too long
November 3, 2025 at 10:05 PM
The Substance went on about half an hour too long
I'm doing family all wrong
November 3, 2025 at 6:47 AM
I'm doing family all wrong
Just checked the 6 signs that someone is secretly wealthy. I assume the cheque is in the post.
November 2, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Just checked the 6 signs that someone is secretly wealthy. I assume the cheque is in the post.
Declaring war on Epstein Files, everywhere
BBC News - Trump tells military to prepare for 'action' against Islamist militants in Nigeria
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Trump tells military to prepare for 'action' against Islamist militants in Nigeria
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Trump tells military to plan for 'action' over his claim that Nigeria allows killing of Christians
The US president says his threat is over killings of Christians - though experts say there is no evidence they are disproportionately targeted.
www.bbc.com
November 2, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Declaring war on Epstein Files, everywhere
BBC News - Trump tells military to prepare for 'action' against Islamist militants in Nigeria
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Trump tells military to prepare for 'action' against Islamist militants in Nigeria
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Nelly Furtado's notebook:
I'm like a bird,
I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶a̶c̶a̶
I'll only fly away
I'm like a bird,
I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶a̶c̶a̶
I'll only fly away
October 31, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Nelly Furtado's notebook:
I'm like a bird,
I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶a̶c̶a̶
I'll only fly away
I'm like a bird,
I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶a̶c̶a̶
I'll only fly away
That AI revolution in full:
1. Bring in Universal Basic Income so everybody can enjoy a basic standard of living when AI takes all the white collar jobs.
2. Let AI take all the white collar jobs.
Only, don't do step 1.
1. Bring in Universal Basic Income so everybody can enjoy a basic standard of living when AI takes all the white collar jobs.
2. Let AI take all the white collar jobs.
Only, don't do step 1.
October 28, 2025 at 3:07 PM
That AI revolution in full:
1. Bring in Universal Basic Income so everybody can enjoy a basic standard of living when AI takes all the white collar jobs.
2. Let AI take all the white collar jobs.
Only, don't do step 1.
1. Bring in Universal Basic Income so everybody can enjoy a basic standard of living when AI takes all the white collar jobs.
2. Let AI take all the white collar jobs.
Only, don't do step 1.
My child: Quirky, delightful.
Your child: Weird, objectionable.
Your child: Weird, objectionable.
October 28, 2025 at 1:11 PM
My child: Quirky, delightful.
Your child: Weird, objectionable.
Your child: Weird, objectionable.
At the Italian restaurant.
Me: Do you do that dessert where you pour espresso onto a little bowl of gelato?
Waiter: Affogato.
Me: That's okay, I'll help you remembero.
Me: Do you do that dessert where you pour espresso onto a little bowl of gelato?
Waiter: Affogato.
Me: That's okay, I'll help you remembero.
October 26, 2025 at 8:08 AM
At the Italian restaurant.
Me: Do you do that dessert where you pour espresso onto a little bowl of gelato?
Waiter: Affogato.
Me: That's okay, I'll help you remembero.
Me: Do you do that dessert where you pour espresso onto a little bowl of gelato?
Waiter: Affogato.
Me: That's okay, I'll help you remembero.
Noo, I thought I was very clear on the phone to the jail: Make sure you *don't* release notorious sex offender Hadush Kebatu.
October 25, 2025 at 7:24 AM
Noo, I thought I was very clear on the phone to the jail: Make sure you *don't* release notorious sex offender Hadush Kebatu.
Half of America, waking from their fever: Oh shit, we voted in that dickhead from The Apprentice
October 24, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Half of America, waking from their fever: Oh shit, we voted in that dickhead from The Apprentice
Knew Murphy was no good when I bought Moloko's album and it was nothing like bloody Sing It Back.
October 23, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Knew Murphy was no good when I bought Moloko's album and it was nothing like bloody Sing It Back.
Calling it an Uninterruptable Power Supply was just asking for trouble
October 23, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Calling it an Uninterruptable Power Supply was just asking for trouble
Woman asked me to reach for an item on a high shelf in the supermarket, but she was clearly taller than me
October 21, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Woman asked me to reach for an item on a high shelf in the supermarket, but she was clearly taller than me
Tfw you've persuaded your partner to struggle through the first 3 seasons of a show because you assure them it starts to get really good and interesting, and then you realise you were thinking of another show.
October 19, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Tfw you've persuaded your partner to struggle through the first 3 seasons of a show because you assure them it starts to get really good and interesting, and then you realise you were thinking of another show.
55% of the country are dangerous radical leftists now apparently
October 19, 2025 at 12:12 AM
55% of the country are dangerous radical leftists now apparently
Our dog knows the word "dentastix" so we started using different words in conversation, to avoid her getting disappointed. She has also learned these words too, so it's getting tricky.
D-stick
Treat-stick
Toothy-twig
Extruded asterisk
Midday snackington
Brown baton
Le collation du chien
D-stick
Treat-stick
Toothy-twig
Extruded asterisk
Midday snackington
Brown baton
Le collation du chien
October 18, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Our dog knows the word "dentastix" so we started using different words in conversation, to avoid her getting disappointed. She has also learned these words too, so it's getting tricky.
D-stick
Treat-stick
Toothy-twig
Extruded asterisk
Midday snackington
Brown baton
Le collation du chien
D-stick
Treat-stick
Toothy-twig
Extruded asterisk
Midday snackington
Brown baton
Le collation du chien
Reposted by Jimmy Zed
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
October 17, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL