Zak Koonce
@zakkoonce.bsky.social
Write comedy and talk shit. Co-Founder of @auralnauts.bsky.social
Currently at https://youtube.com/@zaksgarbage
Currently at https://youtube.com/@zaksgarbage
Rep: Thank you have a great afternoon.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Rep: Thanks, bye bye.
Me: Alright take care.
Rep: You too!
Me: Thank you.
Rep: You’re welcome!
Me: …if we’re to escape this courtesy hell, one of us is going to have to hang up and be forever a dick.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Rep: Thanks, bye bye.
Me: Alright take care.
Rep: You too!
Me: Thank you.
Rep: You’re welcome!
Me: …if we’re to escape this courtesy hell, one of us is going to have to hang up and be forever a dick.
January 9, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Rep: Thank you have a great afternoon.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Rep: Thanks, bye bye.
Me: Alright take care.
Rep: You too!
Me: Thank you.
Rep: You’re welcome!
Me: …if we’re to escape this courtesy hell, one of us is going to have to hang up and be forever a dick.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Rep: Thanks, bye bye.
Me: Alright take care.
Rep: You too!
Me: Thank you.
Rep: You’re welcome!
Me: …if we’re to escape this courtesy hell, one of us is going to have to hang up and be forever a dick.
Her: Whisper something dirty in my ear.
Me, who is bad at improv: Yeah girl, you like this, um Jersey Mike’s? Gonna give it to you Mike’s way, all the fixings. You want a pickle with that? You like more phallus added to what was already a phallic shaped jumping off point? Extra phallus, MIKE’S WAY
Me, who is bad at improv: Yeah girl, you like this, um Jersey Mike’s? Gonna give it to you Mike’s way, all the fixings. You want a pickle with that? You like more phallus added to what was already a phallic shaped jumping off point? Extra phallus, MIKE’S WAY
January 7, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Her: Whisper something dirty in my ear.
Me, who is bad at improv: Yeah girl, you like this, um Jersey Mike’s? Gonna give it to you Mike’s way, all the fixings. You want a pickle with that? You like more phallus added to what was already a phallic shaped jumping off point? Extra phallus, MIKE’S WAY
Me, who is bad at improv: Yeah girl, you like this, um Jersey Mike’s? Gonna give it to you Mike’s way, all the fixings. You want a pickle with that? You like more phallus added to what was already a phallic shaped jumping off point? Extra phallus, MIKE’S WAY
What I love about this image is that it captures something we don’t realize in our own lives. Closing the door on your childhood doesn’t feel like much at the time, but truly painful to think about in hindsight. That’s what makes nostalgia so powerful.
January 4, 2026 at 8:21 PM
What I love about this image is that it captures something we don’t realize in our own lives. Closing the door on your childhood doesn’t feel like much at the time, but truly painful to think about in hindsight. That’s what makes nostalgia so powerful.
Vecna: a super-powered byproduct of science meddling with cosmic energy beyond understanding, bent on crashing two planets into each other as a result of a misguided vision for a better world.
Sephiroth:
Sephiroth:
January 2, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Vecna: a super-powered byproduct of science meddling with cosmic energy beyond understanding, bent on crashing two planets into each other as a result of a misguided vision for a better world.
Sephiroth:
Sephiroth:
Sitting in my tower of knowledge, absorbing the wisdom of the world.
December 28, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Sitting in my tower of knowledge, absorbing the wisdom of the world.
Due to climate change, these Christmas takes are coming in hot
5 Santas More Christmas than Die Hard
YouTube video by Zak's Planet of Garbage
youtu.be
December 24, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Due to climate change, these Christmas takes are coming in hot
You can use a QR code like a crucifix to scare away old people.
December 17, 2025 at 3:28 PM
You can use a QR code like a crucifix to scare away old people.
Reposted by Zak Koonce
As much as I've been a goofy fuck about promoting I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200, the genuine reception it's getting is incredible. Especially with people totally unfamiliar with my work. Here's an early review thread, starting with the incredible starred feature in Publisher's Weekly.
December 12, 2025 at 7:42 PM
As much as I've been a goofy fuck about promoting I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200, the genuine reception it's getting is incredible. Especially with people totally unfamiliar with my work. Here's an early review thread, starting with the incredible starred feature in Publisher's Weekly.
Travel tip: If you’re visiting a city and want non-tourist suggestions, ask someone who used to live there what they miss most about it. Bonus points if that person isn’t legally allowed back in the city but they’d be willing to risk it all for one or two of their suggestions.
December 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Travel tip: If you’re visiting a city and want non-tourist suggestions, ask someone who used to live there what they miss most about it. Bonus points if that person isn’t legally allowed back in the city but they’d be willing to risk it all for one or two of their suggestions.
My list of the worst TV shows of all time are The Wire, Breaking Bad and The Sopranos because if they’re so good where are the Fortnite collabs
December 1, 2025 at 9:02 PM
My list of the worst TV shows of all time are The Wire, Breaking Bad and The Sopranos because if they’re so good where are the Fortnite collabs
The first Bayformers is insane.
Sam: You have to hide!
Prime: On Cybertron, hide means to fart on one’s own balls, which Jazz will now demonstrate using what you humans know as black culture. Jazz, show this earth neighborhood a racist fart.
Sam: You have to hide!
Prime: On Cybertron, hide means to fart on one’s own balls, which Jazz will now demonstrate using what you humans know as black culture. Jazz, show this earth neighborhood a racist fart.
November 30, 2025 at 9:32 PM
The first Bayformers is insane.
Sam: You have to hide!
Prime: On Cybertron, hide means to fart on one’s own balls, which Jazz will now demonstrate using what you humans know as black culture. Jazz, show this earth neighborhood a racist fart.
Sam: You have to hide!
Prime: On Cybertron, hide means to fart on one’s own balls, which Jazz will now demonstrate using what you humans know as black culture. Jazz, show this earth neighborhood a racist fart.
Maybe being an adult means quit being a passive aggressive little bitch and minding your own business
November 28, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Maybe being an adult means quit being a passive aggressive little bitch and minding your own business
Buddy can’t cook and thinks everyone just tolerates dryness. Like the time Ben Shapiro’s wife assured him it was not normal for women to have WAP.
November 27, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Buddy can’t cook and thinks everyone just tolerates dryness. Like the time Ben Shapiro’s wife assured him it was not normal for women to have WAP.
New video available on YT. Enjoy the supernatural body horror of TURBO-TEEN, the boy-car fueled by human blood.
Blood Drive: Turbo-Teen Parody
YouTube video by Zak's Planet of Garbage
www.youtube.com
November 21, 2025 at 5:07 PM
New video available on YT. Enjoy the supernatural body horror of TURBO-TEEN, the boy-car fueled by human blood.
Patrons! Get an early look at the body horror shenanigans of Turbo Teen. He has has such sights to show you.
Blood Drive: Turbo Teen Parody | Zak's Planet of Garbage
Get more from Zak's Planet of Garbage on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 20, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Patrons! Get an early look at the body horror shenanigans of Turbo Teen. He has has such sights to show you.
The only thing a zombie apocalypse would give us is dipshits like this who would downplay the zombie threat and then put their own friends and family in danger by lying about getting bit.
November 12, 2025 at 7:57 PM
The only thing a zombie apocalypse would give us is dipshits like this who would downplay the zombie threat and then put their own friends and family in danger by lying about getting bit.
New patreon post to get your motors purring.
Turbo Teen Preview | Zak's Planet of Garbage
Get more from Zak's Planet of Garbage on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 5, 2025 at 11:31 PM
New patreon post to get your motors purring.
Reposted by Zak Koonce
Today’s the day. We activate Auralnaut Singular
Auralnauts: We're Breaking Up (Real Edition)
YouTube video by Auralnauts
youtu.be
November 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Today’s the day. We activate Auralnaut Singular
We always talk about big dick energy, but not enough about weird dick energy. Sometimes you see an action that is so inexplicably evil, you can only think “I bet that guy has an exceptionally weird dick”.
October 31, 2025 at 5:22 PM
We always talk about big dick energy, but not enough about weird dick energy. Sometimes you see an action that is so inexplicably evil, you can only think “I bet that guy has an exceptionally weird dick”.
What a surprisingly delightful AI generated summary of my latest video. Even though computers are incapable of smell, it can still appreciate an entirely odor based bit.
October 29, 2025 at 5:49 PM
What a surprisingly delightful AI generated summary of my latest video. Even though computers are incapable of smell, it can still appreciate an entirely odor based bit.
Got a Halloween video for you on Youtube. I tackle the most underrated sense in all of horror: smell.
Cursed Takes: Horror Icons from Least to Most Smelly
YouTube video by Zak's Planet of Garbage
www.youtube.com
October 28, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Got a Halloween video for you on Youtube. I tackle the most underrated sense in all of horror: smell.
Happy Halloween, everyone. Here's some seasonal appropriate nonsense from ya boy.
10 Horror Icons from Least to most Smelly | Zak's Planet of Garbage
Get more from Zak's Planet of Garbage on Patreon
www.patreon.com
October 28, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Happy Halloween, everyone. Here's some seasonal appropriate nonsense from ya boy.
The earliest memory I have of thinking “Wow, I am watching something TRULY cursed.”
@zakkoonce.bsky.social forces @seanbaby.bsky.social and @brockway.bsky.social to watch a Corey Feldman musical this week in the DoggzZone. on.soundcloud.com/G3BOLqlN2Ea8...
Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 250, Rock and Roll Highschool Forever with Zak Koonce
Finally, a decent movie! Teenage rebellion, a warm sense of nostalgia, and the RAMONES! This is gonna kick ass!
I don't remember Corey Feldman being in this.
Anyway, thanks to Zak Koonce for bringi
soundcloud.com
October 22, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The earliest memory I have of thinking “Wow, I am watching something TRULY cursed.”
Got some new channel banner art today courtesy of @mvbramley.art
October 20, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Got some new channel banner art today courtesy of @mvbramley.art
Reposted by Zak Koonce
One of the most TRUE signs I have ever seen at a march. Write this down and act upon it, friends.
#NoKings #Manhattan
#NoKings #Manhattan
October 18, 2025 at 9:13 PM
One of the most TRUE signs I have ever seen at a march. Write this down and act upon it, friends.
#NoKings #Manhattan
#NoKings #Manhattan