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zaddylonglegs.bsky.social
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@zaddylonglegs.bsky.social
potato soup enjoyer.

sassy shoota.

please don't tell my employer i'm on here.
I take it personally when I'm waiting for the crosswalk light to turn green, and someone walks up and hits the button again
February 17, 2026 at 5:30 PM
playing the teams notification sound on the subway and seeing who checks their phone
February 13, 2026 at 6:41 PM
pam bondi sounds like the mom on bobby's fashy world
February 12, 2026 at 8:30 PM
guy who asks chatgpt how to solve the climate crisis
February 4, 2026 at 9:45 PM
me: "hey, dude. Can i be frank with you for a second?"

friend: "yeah, of course. What's up?"

me: "duhhhh i'm a big dumb idiot"

frank: "i don't even sound like that!"
February 2, 2026 at 11:09 AM
the left only virtue signals, and that's why they don't drive bmws
February 2, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Healthy Souls: Dark Souls, but only the parts where you run
January 29, 2026 at 5:35 PM
remake of the 1964 sitcom Bewitched, but the witch is E40 and he adjusts his glasses to cast spells
January 24, 2026 at 11:40 PM
MOOOOM! TYLER'S BEING AN ANTI-REVOLUTIONARY AGAIN!!
January 24, 2026 at 1:41 PM
imagining two guys sitting next to each other

Guy 1: Was hat er gerade gesagt?
Guy 2: すいません、私はドイツ語を話しません。
Trump in Davos, Switzerland:

"Without us, right now you'd all be speaking German".

German is the main language of Switzerland.
January 21, 2026 at 9:54 PM
whenever i wait at a bus/train stop and the door stops perfectly in front of me, that's the driver telling me we're best homies
January 21, 2026 at 4:35 PM
everyone is feeling disappointed with the AF1 thing, but I'm personally hoping for may 5th
January 21, 2026 at 4:27 PM
after reading the text charlie kirk sent to candace owens, I'm convinced he did the naruto run in his backyard on more than one occasion
January 20, 2026 at 6:03 PM
USB dongles are about to get wild
This is it. This is The Great Filter. We've created Sexy Barista Is Super Interested in Watching You Solo Game (SBISIIWYS).
January 20, 2026 at 5:00 PM
now when a comment is full of basic grammar and spelling mistakes, at least I know it's not an LLM
January 19, 2026 at 5:32 PM
drinking bacon grease to lubricate my intestines, but my metabolism doesn't seem to be speeding up at all
January 19, 2026 at 1:08 AM
they should invent food that tastes good and had zero calories
January 14, 2026 at 1:10 AM
January 8, 2026 at 10:17 PM
[on a guided tour in Belgrade]

me: "so this is where the vulcans are from?"

tour guide: "for the last time, no. You're confusing the word vulcan with..."

me pointing at Pobednik: "and this must be dedicated to pon farr"

the tour guide begins to strangle me
January 8, 2026 at 2:02 PM
youtube doesn't let you rewind ads. I don't think it's because they know everyone hates them. It's because some of those ads are really weird and yt is embarrassed.
January 7, 2026 at 9:17 PM
January 7, 2026 at 10:24 AM
adam smith is a guy who once admitted that biden only ran to stop bernie from winning.

the same guy who called protestors at his townhall "pro-Palestinian extremists"
adamsmith.house.gov/news/press-r...

now he's complaining about trump invading a country, and his top 3 donors exist for war.
January 5, 2026 at 11:32 PM
i know it's generally bad to make fun of anyone trying to improve themselves, but why does crossfit have to make it so difficult not to laugh by putting out this kind of video?
youtu.be/p7j02V1fIzU
The Hollow Rock
YouTube video by CrossFit
youtu.be
January 4, 2026 at 6:09 PM
unrelated to Venezuela
January 4, 2026 at 4:47 PM
if life has you pressed, watch Chris Bosh and the Miami Heat reenact the Martin opening
youtu.be/n2YjydaVkNs
Martin Opening Theme
YouTube video by C B
youtu.be
January 4, 2026 at 12:45 AM