WST Fake Pitchbot
wstpitchbot.bsky.social
WST Fake Pitchbot
@wstpitchbot.bsky.social
A parody of American soccer journalism and content creation. Have a tip? DMs open
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Megyn Kelly and I both find it hard to define exactly what a “minor” is.

By: 11 Yanks
November 14, 2025 at 4:30 PM
MLS moving to a Euro calendar is perfect. Nothing screams “we are a serious soccer nation with our own identity” like immediately abandoning that identity to follow the cool kids. What’s next? Pro/Rel?
November 14, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Op-ed | I love MLS. I love it in the way people love vinyl records, pour-over coffee, and inconvenient transportation options. MLS is meaningful because it’s inconvenient. Because it exists just slightly beyond the reach of the uninitiated.

That’s why this feels…wrong.

By Matt Doyle
BREAKING: MLS will come out from behind the separate MLS Season Pass subscription beginning in 2026, per sources.

All games will be available on the Apple TV streaming service.

www.nytimes.com/athletic/680...
MLS, Apple TV to bring games outside of extra paywall in 2026: Sources
Beginning next season, MLS games will be even more accessible via Apple TV
www.nytimes.com
November 13, 2025 at 6:23 PM
People think this is a win because MLS will reach tens of millions more Apple TV subscribers. But my concern is simple: what if even MORE people now see players I already decided weren’t good enough for the USMNT?

By: Tactical Manager
November 13, 2025 at 6:08 PM
If Don Garber and Apple were serious about turning MLS into a proper football league, matches wouldn't be contained within one app. They would be hidden behind multiple cable tiers, Peacock, and the occasional random USA Network listing.
November 13, 2025 at 6:05 PM
MLS dropping the separate paywall is interesting, but let’s not get carried away. Just because tens of millions more people can now watch MLS doesn’t mean they should when Fulham vs. Burnley exists.
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
It’s time to turn the page on Gio’s behavior at the ‘22 World Cup. He’s suffering enough, so let’s stop beating that same old dead horse. Gregg Berhalter was the one to blame for that entire situation anyway. We’re in the mess we’re in today because of that bald fraud.

By: 11 Yanks
Mauricio Pochettino prizes being a good teammate. How does the #USMNT coach square that with Gio Reyna’s 2022 World Cup?

"The past is in the past,” Pochettino told me this week. “We’ll give him the opportunity to show he’s more mature, behave, then perform.”

www.foxsports.com/stories/socc...
What Does Mauricio Pochettino Want From Gio Reyna? 'Show He’s More Mature'
What's Mauricio Pochettino's expectation for Gio Reyna? "If a player doesn’t behave well, he’s not going to be with us."
www.foxsports.com
November 13, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Pilot for the World Cup ‘26 halftime shows alongside Alexi Lalas, Carli Lloyd and Elizabeth Eddy
Government is shut down. Chaos in airports. 42 million going hungry. 24 million face skyrocketing healthcare costs. Economy in turmoil. And the president of the United States is in the Fox broadcast booth calling plays for a football game.
November 10, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Have American players have finally made it? Dominating the likes of Tajikistan at youth level. World Cup ‘26 Champs
November 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Sure, Patrick Agyemang dunked on another Championship defender, but in the 3 games I watched he appears to have regressed since his time in MLS, which I did not watch.

By: USMNT_Stan
November 8, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Pochettino continues his track record of calling up MLS lifers, under-performers and unqualified players.

Here’s why he’s gotten the Gio decision right 🧵 👇

By: 11 Yanks
November 6, 2025 at 5:22 PM
When I played, everyone knew their position. Now people tell me “gender is fluid.” Okay—but not in a 4-4-2.

By: Alexi Lalas
November 6, 2025 at 12:40 AM
BREAKING: USL Championship side North Carolina FC informs players they will not be fielding a team in 2026, per sources.

NCFC have a playoff game on Saturday. Sources expect club will finish playoff run.

Players with contracts now end after two months.
www.nytimes.com/athletic/677...
USL club North Carolina FC tells players it won't field a team in 2026
www.nytimes.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Gio continues to be a prolific scorer of own goals
“I’m not just going to sort of sit here and take all the blame for something that was made out to be completely my fault…I was just upset that I wasn’t really playing.”
Completely tone deaf from Gio Reyna given Pochettino’s team-first messaging. #USMNT apnews.com/article/gio-...
Gio Reyna tells AP about plans to reboot career with new club and return to US team for World Cup
Gio Reyna went to the 2022 World Cup as one of United States’ brightest young soccer stars. He came back amid controversy over his commitment and his parents’ conflict with the then-coach.
apnews.com
October 28, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by WST Fake Pitchbot
The American Soccer Playoff Bracket closes at Inter Miami’s kickoff tonight: 8pm ET.

Fill out your bracket and stand a chance to win!

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
American Soccer Playoff Challenge
Please read here for details on prizes and the challenge. Notes Below: 1. This sheet only includes MLS Playoffs. To be eligible for the grand prize, YOU MUST COMPETE IN THE USL AND NWSL CHALLENGES ...
docs.google.com
October 24, 2025 at 4:51 PM
In a direct blow to Matt Doyle, Mauricio Pochettino kills Camp Cupcake.
U.S. Soccer will not hold a January camp this year.

The annual exercise will return in December 2026, with future camps likely to be held in the same month going forward.

The reasoning, quotes from USSF VP of Sporting Oguchi Onyewu and more inside:

www.nytimes.com/athletic/674...
USMNT January camp will not take place in 2026, ahead of World Cup
The yearly exercise that almost exclusively features domestic-based players won't take place this winter, The Athletic has learned
www.nytimes.com
October 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Failed USMNT GM, Brian McBride, the perfect fit for Brooklyn FC GM role.
🇺🇸 Brooklyn FC has named Brian McBride the club's first GM, ahead of the men's team joining USL Championship next season.

I spoke with the former USMNT GM about why Brooklyn, why now + pro/rel coming to USL in future
www.nytimes.com/athletic/673...
Brooklyn FC tabs USMNT great Brian McBride as first GM
McBride is heading back into management in USL after his role as U.S. men's national team general manager
www.nytimes.com
October 22, 2025 at 12:28 PM
A La Liga match being played in America was bad for MLS. Here’s why the abrupt cancellation of Villarreal and Barcelona’s La Liga match in Miami is even worse news for the league.
October 21, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Reposted by WST Fake Pitchbot
Chris Armas on his future being out of contract, after being snarky and attacking our coverage as always being negative and wondering how many people read us:

"It's fresh. It just ended (the season). We'll have discussions."
October 19, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Berhalter’s coaching tree finishing above Berhalter himself doesn’t prove he develops talent — it proves he spreads mediocrity efficiently. Standards matter.
October 19, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Reposted by WST Fake Pitchbot
@wstpitchbot.bsky.social: "MLS' role in American player development in doubt after 4th straight year without an American atop the 22-under-22 list"
justice for finn surman
October 8, 2025 at 7:57 PM
US Soccer is my passion
October 6, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Whether it’s Pochettino not talking to players at all or Berhalter FaceTiming every player in the pool, it’s clear the USMNT has a comms problem
October 5, 2025 at 5:12 AM