WST Fake Pitchbot
@wstpitchbot.bsky.social
A parody of American soccer journalism and content creation. Have a tip? DMs open
Megyn Kelly and I both find it hard to define exactly what a “minor” is.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
November 14, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Megyn Kelly and I both find it hard to define exactly what a “minor” is.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
Have American players have finally made it? Dominating the likes of Tajikistan at youth level. World Cup ‘26 Champs
November 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Have American players have finally made it? Dominating the likes of Tajikistan at youth level. World Cup ‘26 Champs
US Soccer is my passion
October 6, 2025 at 2:56 AM
US Soccer is my passion
INVESTIGATIVE REPORT | Is the MLS Quota Infiltrating the USYNT?
October 1, 2025 at 7:24 PM
INVESTIGATIVE REPORT | Is the MLS Quota Infiltrating the USYNT?
Exclusive: MLS bias looms large over Pochettino’s October camp roster. Everyone knows the narrative: MLS is irrelevant, yet somehow everywhere. Full analysis coming soon — plus our guide on how to watch every MLS player this weekend.
September 30, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Exclusive: MLS bias looms large over Pochettino’s October camp roster. Everyone knows the narrative: MLS is irrelevant, yet somehow everywhere. Full analysis coming soon — plus our guide on how to watch every MLS player this weekend.
Chapeu Football 🇧🇷
September 29, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Chapeu Football 🇧🇷
Mexico’s Jaguar mascot, Zayu, named captain of FIFA World Cup 2026 by President Gianni Infantino. The White House hasn’t returned our request for comment.
September 25, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Mexico’s Jaguar mascot, Zayu, named captain of FIFA World Cup 2026 by President Gianni Infantino. The White House hasn’t returned our request for comment.
Are MLS academies feeding too many players into the US National Team pipeline?
September 19, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Are MLS academies feeding too many players into the US National Team pipeline?
Everyone wants to 💩 on the MLS players they think can’t walk, or Josh Sargent, who comes in and gets no service. But this is your golden child, Balogun, alone, 5 yds out, GK on the floor, ball at his feet, and it goes…well the USMNT finished with 0 goals, so you do the math
September 8, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Everyone wants to 💩 on the MLS players they think can’t walk, or Josh Sargent, who comes in and gets no service. But this is your golden child, Balogun, alone, 5 yds out, GK on the floor, ball at his feet, and it goes…well the USMNT finished with 0 goals, so you do the math
Hear me out USMNT and USWNT fans…
September 6, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Hear me out USMNT and USWNT fans…
🚨 Emergency Stream 🚨
Pochettino selects Roldan. This isn’t about depth — it’s about control. The MLS quota strikes again. How can we compete when our coach is literally Garber’s puppet selecting the best performing 🇺🇸 in MLS?
Pochettino selects Roldan. This isn’t about depth — it’s about control. The MLS quota strikes again. How can we compete when our coach is literally Garber’s puppet selecting the best performing 🇺🇸 in MLS?
September 3, 2025 at 11:06 PM
🚨 Emergency Stream 🚨
Pochettino selects Roldan. This isn’t about depth — it’s about control. The MLS quota strikes again. How can we compete when our coach is literally Garber’s puppet selecting the best performing 🇺🇸 in MLS?
Pochettino selects Roldan. This isn’t about depth — it’s about control. The MLS quota strikes again. How can we compete when our coach is literally Garber’s puppet selecting the best performing 🇺🇸 in MLS?
AI solving all the REAL problems 🫠
August 13, 2025 at 12:47 PM
AI solving all the REAL problems 🫠
CONCACAF publishes the most recent update to highly scientific regional national team rankings weighted for recency and level of competition. This Summer’s Gold Cup quarter-finalist, Costa Rica, understandably leapfrogs tournament finalists & quarterfinal better, USA, because 🤷♀️
July 25, 2025 at 12:09 AM
CONCACAF publishes the most recent update to highly scientific regional national team rankings weighted for recency and level of competition. This Summer’s Gold Cup quarter-finalist, Costa Rica, understandably leapfrogs tournament finalists & quarterfinal better, USA, because 🤷♀️
Copa Libertadores and Brazilian Serie A champions, Botafogo, dominate the Seattle Sounders 2-1 in opening Group B match of FIFA Club World Cup
June 16, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Copa Libertadores and Brazilian Serie A champions, Botafogo, dominate the Seattle Sounders 2-1 in opening Group B match of FIFA Club World Cup
June 6, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Tell me you’ve never played sports without telling me you’ve never played sports:
May 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Tell me you’ve never played sports without telling me you’ve never played sports:
Well, shit. He beat me to it
May 21, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Well, shit. He beat me to it