Waldo
@waldo2006.bsky.social
Satirical input on social and political happenings. Cook, gardner, brewer, IT, disc golfer and a dad so the jokes are constant. Go BILLS!
Chuck schumer- Hostage negotiator:
"Ok, I see you're out of hostages, and ammo, and we have you completely surrounded. In good faith we are giving you 2 new hostages, and cars to take you to the airport with a plane waiting. You just have to promise next month you'll turn yourselves in"
"Ok, I see you're out of hostages, and ammo, and we have you completely surrounded. In good faith we are giving you 2 new hostages, and cars to take you to the airport with a plane waiting. You just have to promise next month you'll turn yourselves in"
November 11, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Chuck schumer- Hostage negotiator:
"Ok, I see you're out of hostages, and ammo, and we have you completely surrounded. In good faith we are giving you 2 new hostages, and cars to take you to the airport with a plane waiting. You just have to promise next month you'll turn yourselves in"
"Ok, I see you're out of hostages, and ammo, and we have you completely surrounded. In good faith we are giving you 2 new hostages, and cars to take you to the airport with a plane waiting. You just have to promise next month you'll turn yourselves in"
Me thinking for once the Dem establishment was going to keep a promise.
November 10, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Me thinking for once the Dem establishment was going to keep a promise.
The Dems caved thanks to Schumer, but at least the bigot Kim Davis got told to shove it.
November 10, 2025 at 3:09 PM
The Dems caved thanks to Schumer, but at least the bigot Kim Davis got told to shove it.
Whatever company makes the Whitehouse furniture has great commercial material. "Our chairs are so comfortable they even put fascists to sleep!"
And they can even advertise on Fox "Only the best comfort for a king" and play both sides.
And they can even advertise on Fox "Only the best comfort for a king" and play both sides.
November 10, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Whatever company makes the Whitehouse furniture has great commercial material. "Our chairs are so comfortable they even put fascists to sleep!"
And they can even advertise on Fox "Only the best comfort for a king" and play both sides.
And they can even advertise on Fox "Only the best comfort for a king" and play both sides.
I should have known John Fetterman was a spelunker. He caves so easily.
November 10, 2025 at 11:24 AM
I should have known John Fetterman was a spelunker. He caves so easily.
Ffs Schumer is going to fuck us again isn't he....
November 10, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Ffs Schumer is going to fuck us again isn't he....
Wait, throwing to Dalton Kincaid works?!
Who would have known that?
Who would have known that?
November 9, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Wait, throwing to Dalton Kincaid works?!
Who would have known that?
Who would have known that?
What's the difference between the Oligarchy, and Bamboo?
You shouldn't put bamboo in a woodchipper
You shouldn't put bamboo in a woodchipper
November 9, 2025 at 6:45 PM
What's the difference between the Oligarchy, and Bamboo?
You shouldn't put bamboo in a woodchipper
You shouldn't put bamboo in a woodchipper
Target: "wow, being against DEI really hurt our profits. I know what our consumers want! Employees that are forced to smile and badger customers constantly!"
Do I just need to be out of touch with reality to become a highly paid CEO or board member?
Do I just need to be out of touch with reality to become a highly paid CEO or board member?
November 9, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Target: "wow, being against DEI really hurt our profits. I know what our consumers want! Employees that are forced to smile and badger customers constantly!"
Do I just need to be out of touch with reality to become a highly paid CEO or board member?
Do I just need to be out of touch with reality to become a highly paid CEO or board member?
"theyre poor because they didn't invest properly"
Invest what? If you go in debt just to have food and shelter, what do you have to invest?!?!
Invest what? If you go in debt just to have food and shelter, what do you have to invest?!?!
November 9, 2025 at 3:32 PM
"theyre poor because they didn't invest properly"
Invest what? If you go in debt just to have food and shelter, what do you have to invest?!?!
Invest what? If you go in debt just to have food and shelter, what do you have to invest?!?!
Republicans: "Democrats hate Christians and their policies are anti Christianity! They aren't going to let you be Christian if they win!
Also Republicans: "Praying?! At a protest?! You absolutely have no right to do either of those things, we don't care what the constitution says!"
Also Republicans: "Praying?! At a protest?! You absolutely have no right to do either of those things, we don't care what the constitution says!"
November 9, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Republicans: "Democrats hate Christians and their policies are anti Christianity! They aren't going to let you be Christian if they win!
Also Republicans: "Praying?! At a protest?! You absolutely have no right to do either of those things, we don't care what the constitution says!"
Also Republicans: "Praying?! At a protest?! You absolutely have no right to do either of those things, we don't care what the constitution says!"
Me hearing that sexual assaulting racist Andrew Cuomo is going to run for a house seat after his hysterical loss to Mamdani:
November 9, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Me hearing that sexual assaulting racist Andrew Cuomo is going to run for a house seat after his hysterical loss to Mamdani:
"it's the Democrats that are being unreasonable" he says from the golf course as his lawyers argue that we should starve children.
"Look at my golden ballroom!" As the donors that made it possible lay off thousands of workers.
"Look at my golden ballroom!" As the donors that made it possible lay off thousands of workers.
November 8, 2025 at 11:29 PM
"it's the Democrats that are being unreasonable" he says from the golf course as his lawyers argue that we should starve children.
"Look at my golden ballroom!" As the donors that made it possible lay off thousands of workers.
"Look at my golden ballroom!" As the donors that made it possible lay off thousands of workers.
It's sickening that our country has to review if "starving children" is within our laws or not.
Fuck every single Republican.
Fuck every single Republican.
November 8, 2025 at 9:32 PM
It's sickening that our country has to review if "starving children" is within our laws or not.
Fuck every single Republican.
Fuck every single Republican.
When life hands you fascists, throw sandwiches.
November 8, 2025 at 4:17 PM
When life hands you fascists, throw sandwiches.
Dem mayors of big cities: "crime is down again this year. Shootings are down, homicides are down"
Republicans: "that cant be true, all of us have been commiting 4xs the number of crimes this year. Everyone else must be too and even more!"
Republicans: "that cant be true, all of us have been commiting 4xs the number of crimes this year. Everyone else must be too and even more!"
November 8, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Dem mayors of big cities: "crime is down again this year. Shootings are down, homicides are down"
Republicans: "that cant be true, all of us have been commiting 4xs the number of crimes this year. Everyone else must be too and even more!"
Republicans: "that cant be true, all of us have been commiting 4xs the number of crimes this year. Everyone else must be too and even more!"
Really bums me out when my social media is full of trump looking unconscious, but then I see he woke back up.
November 8, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Really bums me out when my social media is full of trump looking unconscious, but then I see he woke back up.
Release the Epstein files.
November 8, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Release the Epstein files.
You'll find more gold picking your nose, than you'll find empathy in all Republicans combined
November 7, 2025 at 6:37 PM
You'll find more gold picking your nose, than you'll find empathy in all Republicans combined
Mike Johnson: "grocery prices always go up"
99 cent Arizona iced tea: "who is this clown?"
99 cent Arizona iced tea: "who is this clown?"
November 7, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Mike Johnson: "grocery prices always go up"
99 cent Arizona iced tea: "who is this clown?"
99 cent Arizona iced tea: "who is this clown?"
Walmarts (and Trump's regurgitation) about thanksgiving being cheaper is shrinkflation to the max.
Of course you pay less if you BUY LESS. Of course you pay less if you BUY lower quality.
"last year I spent $100 and fed 10 people. This year I spent $75 and fed 5 people, and it tasted worse"
Of course you pay less if you BUY LESS. Of course you pay less if you BUY lower quality.
"last year I spent $100 and fed 10 people. This year I spent $75 and fed 5 people, and it tasted worse"
November 7, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Walmarts (and Trump's regurgitation) about thanksgiving being cheaper is shrinkflation to the max.
Of course you pay less if you BUY LESS. Of course you pay less if you BUY lower quality.
"last year I spent $100 and fed 10 people. This year I spent $75 and fed 5 people, and it tasted worse"
Of course you pay less if you BUY LESS. Of course you pay less if you BUY lower quality.
"last year I spent $100 and fed 10 people. This year I spent $75 and fed 5 people, and it tasted worse"
Republicans want to starve children so badly they are appealing the courts ruling.
And they'll all claim they are going to church on Sunday.
And they'll all claim they are going to church on Sunday.
November 7, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Republicans want to starve children so badly they are appealing the courts ruling.
And they'll all claim they are going to church on Sunday.
And they'll all claim they are going to church on Sunday.
Republicans when talking about a 34 year old as a politician: "they are too young to make important decisions. Basically a child!"
Republicans when a black 13 year old shoplifts $5 in candy: "THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER! TRY THEM AS AN ADULT! LIFE IN PRISON!"
R's when they elect a pedophile: 🦗🦗🦗
Republicans when a black 13 year old shoplifts $5 in candy: "THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER! TRY THEM AS AN ADULT! LIFE IN PRISON!"
R's when they elect a pedophile: 🦗🦗🦗
November 6, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Republicans when talking about a 34 year old as a politician: "they are too young to make important decisions. Basically a child!"
Republicans when a black 13 year old shoplifts $5 in candy: "THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER! TRY THEM AS AN ADULT! LIFE IN PRISON!"
R's when they elect a pedophile: 🦗🦗🦗
Republicans when a black 13 year old shoplifts $5 in candy: "THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER! TRY THEM AS AN ADULT! LIFE IN PRISON!"
R's when they elect a pedophile: 🦗🦗🦗
User: "my laptop battery only last 5 hours!"
Me: "that's pretty standard for that model"
User: "make it last longer!"
Me: "ok"
User: "Now the screens dim and it goes slower!"
Me: "that's how to make the battery last longer"
User: "make it longer but don't change anything"
Me: 🤦♂️
Me: "that's pretty standard for that model"
User: "make it last longer!"
Me: "ok"
User: "Now the screens dim and it goes slower!"
Me: "that's how to make the battery last longer"
User: "make it longer but don't change anything"
Me: 🤦♂️
November 6, 2025 at 2:14 PM
User: "my laptop battery only last 5 hours!"
Me: "that's pretty standard for that model"
User: "make it last longer!"
Me: "ok"
User: "Now the screens dim and it goes slower!"
Me: "that's how to make the battery last longer"
User: "make it longer but don't change anything"
Me: 🤦♂️
Me: "that's pretty standard for that model"
User: "make it last longer!"
Me: "ok"
User: "Now the screens dim and it goes slower!"
Me: "that's how to make the battery last longer"
User: "make it longer but don't change anything"
Me: 🤦♂️
Remember DNC, it doesn't matter who you run, Fox news will call them a socialist. You could endorse the corpse of Ronald Reagan and their first segment would be "Extreme socialist Reagan picked by Soros to destroy America"
Stop caring what fox news says, and listen to your base. It clearly works.
Stop caring what fox news says, and listen to your base. It clearly works.
November 6, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Remember DNC, it doesn't matter who you run, Fox news will call them a socialist. You could endorse the corpse of Ronald Reagan and their first segment would be "Extreme socialist Reagan picked by Soros to destroy America"
Stop caring what fox news says, and listen to your base. It clearly works.
Stop caring what fox news says, and listen to your base. It clearly works.