Tyree Hoffman
@tyreehoffman.bsky.social
I’m a simple man. I like horror movies, disc golf, comics, coffee, and punk rock. Every once in a while, I’m funny. Katy Perry kissed me in 2008.
The woman driving the car in front of me is putting on makeup at 7 PM. She must be on her way to a dick appointment.
June 16, 2025 at 11:04 PM
The woman driving the car in front of me is putting on makeup at 7 PM. She must be on her way to a dick appointment.
Well call me “Buttercream” because I’m thick, off-white, and 40% fat.
March 14, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Well call me “Buttercream” because I’m thick, off-white, and 40% fat.
To recap recent events: mouth breathers like Candace Owens on the Reich- er, Right, who accuse Liberals of promoting and defending SA against children (which of course is a lie), say people like Andrew Tate shouldn’t be prosecuted because of their “ideas” (he openly admitted to SA and trafficking).
March 13, 2025 at 10:27 AM
To recap recent events: mouth breathers like Candace Owens on the Reich- er, Right, who accuse Liberals of promoting and defending SA against children (which of course is a lie), say people like Andrew Tate shouldn’t be prosecuted because of their “ideas” (he openly admitted to SA and trafficking).
Post your favorite pokemon, wrong answers only.
March 11, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Post your favorite pokemon, wrong answers only.
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
Officer don't reach inside that. That's my emotional support fleshlight.
March 11, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Officer don't reach inside that. That's my emotional support fleshlight.
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
I'm a simple girl.
I see Tesla stock fall fifty percent in three months, I smile.
I see Tesla stock fall fifty percent in three months, I smile.
March 11, 2025 at 9:02 AM
I'm a simple girl.
I see Tesla stock fall fifty percent in three months, I smile.
I see Tesla stock fall fifty percent in three months, I smile.
(Slight spoiler ahead. Like, how flavored seltzers such as Bubly are close to soda but not quite soda, slight.)
Pretty sure that opening to Daredevil: Born Again was just a big middle finger to every fan who complained that they weren’t bringing Foggy and Karen back for the D+ show.
Pretty sure that opening to Daredevil: Born Again was just a big middle finger to every fan who complained that they weren’t bringing Foggy and Karen back for the D+ show.
March 5, 2025 at 12:06 PM
(Slight spoiler ahead. Like, how flavored seltzers such as Bubly are close to soda but not quite soda, slight.)
Pretty sure that opening to Daredevil: Born Again was just a big middle finger to every fan who complained that they weren’t bringing Foggy and Karen back for the D+ show.
Pretty sure that opening to Daredevil: Born Again was just a big middle finger to every fan who complained that they weren’t bringing Foggy and Karen back for the D+ show.
It’s been fucking embarrassing to be an American since November, but today was the most fucking embarrassing day yet.
February 28, 2025 at 10:54 PM
It’s been fucking embarrassing to be an American since November, but today was the most fucking embarrassing day yet.
Trump and Vance are goddamn embarrassments. Unprofessional fucking clowns running a fucking circus.
February 28, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Trump and Vance are goddamn embarrassments. Unprofessional fucking clowns running a fucking circus.
We are truly, undoubtedly, living in the dumbest fucking timeline.
February 11, 2025 at 7:19 PM
We are truly, undoubtedly, living in the dumbest fucking timeline.
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
Anyone who says this was NOT a Nazi salute can — with all due respect — fuck off.
January 20, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Anyone who says this was NOT a Nazi salute can — with all due respect — fuck off.
Just a reminder that Trump kickstarted the TikTok ban years ago; so when he “saves” the app, don’t celebrate his grift.
January 19, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Just a reminder that Trump kickstarted the TikTok ban years ago; so when he “saves” the app, don’t celebrate his grift.
Hated the way Dexter ended.
Hated the way Dexter: New Blood ended.
Can’t wait to hate the way Dexter: Original Sin ends.
Hated the way Dexter: New Blood ended.
Can’t wait to hate the way Dexter: Original Sin ends.
January 17, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Hated the way Dexter ended.
Hated the way Dexter: New Blood ended.
Can’t wait to hate the way Dexter: Original Sin ends.
Hated the way Dexter: New Blood ended.
Can’t wait to hate the way Dexter: Original Sin ends.
I’m pretty sure my lack of money and my abundance of weight is what’s holding me back, but this meme’s point still stands.
January 12, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I’m pretty sure my lack of money and my abundance of weight is what’s holding me back, but this meme’s point still stands.
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
The reason I stay single is because I get tired of being the problem lol
January 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
The reason I stay single is because I get tired of being the problem lol
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
Everyone wants a goth girl till they have to try to scrub a bunch of black lipstick off their junk
January 12, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Everyone wants a goth girl till they have to try to scrub a bunch of black lipstick off their junk
It’s not a crime.
(Also, I feel like I have to mention I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t valid legal advice, so I can’t confirm that it’s not a crime.)
(Also, I feel like I have to mention I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t valid legal advice, so I can’t confirm that it’s not a crime.)
January 9, 2025 at 10:59 AM
It’s not a crime.
(Also, I feel like I have to mention I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t valid legal advice, so I can’t confirm that it’s not a crime.)
(Also, I feel like I have to mention I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t valid legal advice, so I can’t confirm that it’s not a crime.)
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
Feel like I want to use “turn of the century” more for 2000.
“Oh that hard drive? Got that around the turn of the century.”
“This just says Limewire porn”
“Sacred. Put back in the box.”
“Oh that hard drive? Got that around the turn of the century.”
“This just says Limewire porn”
“Sacred. Put back in the box.”
January 9, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Feel like I want to use “turn of the century” more for 2000.
“Oh that hard drive? Got that around the turn of the century.”
“This just says Limewire porn”
“Sacred. Put back in the box.”
“Oh that hard drive? Got that around the turn of the century.”
“This just says Limewire porn”
“Sacred. Put back in the box.”
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
If you ever want to stop enjoying something, say you enjoy that thing on social media.
Works like a charm.
Works like a charm.
January 9, 2025 at 8:48 AM
If you ever want to stop enjoying something, say you enjoy that thing on social media.
Works like a charm.
Works like a charm.
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
Reposted by Tyree Hoffman
January 8, 2025 at 10:42 PM