The Report Card
@thereportcard.bsky.social
Puns and politics. For easier reading completely free: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheReportCard
https://thereportcardus.substack.com/
https://thereportcardus.substack.com/
Trump, 79, asleep at the wheel.
Week 46 - The Least Woke President
Trump, 79, has been increasingly showing his age this week and the news is finally pointing it out.
open.substack.com
December 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Trump, 79, asleep at the wheel.
Speak with your dollars, folks. It's the only language companies understand.
Week 45 - Black Out
The economic black out starts today.
open.substack.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Speak with your dollars, folks. It's the only language companies understand.
ICE - the American Gestapo are on the loose....except for that one agent who got caught in a child trafficking sting this week. Not him.
Week 44 - Chilling Effect
Icy winds blew through Chicago and ICE pulled up stakes for warmer climes.
open.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 6:47 PM
ICE - the American Gestapo are on the loose....except for that one agent who got caught in a child trafficking sting this week. Not him.
Absolute legend.
From the illinois community on Reddit: An Elgin City resident’s speech during a city council meeting: “If you’re quiet now, you would have been quiet in 1940.”
Explore this post and more from the illinois community
www.reddit.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Absolute legend.
Week 43 - Pyrrhic Victories
Government is open again, but at what cost?
Government is open again, but at what cost?
Week 43 - Pyrrhic Victories
This week has been full of Pyrrhic victories.
open.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Week 43 - Pyrrhic Victories
Government is open again, but at what cost?
Government is open again, but at what cost?
Week 42 - SNAP
Help your community survive this regime and see what else is happening:
Help your community survive this regime and see what else is happening:
Week 42 - SNAP
An estimated 41.7 million people, or about 12.3% of U.S.
open.substack.com
November 7, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Week 42 - SNAP
Help your community survive this regime and see what else is happening:
Help your community survive this regime and see what else is happening:
Happy Halloween everyone!
Fun fact: I am a part-time werewolf.
Fun fact: I am a part-time werewolf.
November 1, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Happy Halloween everyone!
Fun fact: I am a part-time werewolf.
Fun fact: I am a part-time werewolf.
Week 41 - Drug Boat Bingo | The Report Card
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October 31, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Week 40 is up. Learn about exciting new opportunities to be stalked by ICE agents and the tools they use!
thereportcardus.substack.com/p/week-40-wh...
thereportcardus.substack.com/p/week-40-wh...
Week 40 - What the Flock?
ICE just gained access to the Flock network of cameras and license plate readers which includes Ring camera data and in-store surveillance footage from retailers like Target.
thereportcardus.substack.com
October 24, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Week 40 is up. Learn about exciting new opportunities to be stalked by ICE agents and the tools they use!
thereportcardus.substack.com/p/week-40-wh...
thereportcardus.substack.com/p/week-40-wh...
October 17, 2025 at 2:37 AM
New hobby: convincing the ancient aliens crowd that the aliens also built the European castles too.
October 11, 2025 at 3:06 PM
New hobby: convincing the ancient aliens crowd that the aliens also built the European castles too.
Week 38 Plenary Power | The Report Card
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October 10, 2025 at 5:26 PM
High-stakes dinner idea: taking a vampire out for kebabs.
October 10, 2025 at 3:21 AM
High-stakes dinner idea: taking a vampire out for kebabs.
New week in review just dropped. Got masked men kidnapping people from their beds on your Rubicon?
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Week 37 - National Defense Strategy | The Report Card
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October 3, 2025 at 5:25 PM
New week in review just dropped. Got masked men kidnapping people from their beds on your Rubicon?
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Apparently my full thread poster bot died, RIP. Read the full Week 36 Report Card here:
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Week 36 - Dictatorial Advances | The Report Card
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September 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Apparently my full thread poster bot died, RIP. Read the full Week 36 Report Card here:
www.patreon.com/posts/week-3...
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Unless you fight the inevitable, you’ll never know if it truly was…
September 20, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Unless you fight the inevitable, you’ll never know if it truly was…
Week 35 - Censorship
News anchors are getting fired for speaking out against the presidential approved narrative, there’s an ongoing military occupation of American cities, studies that disprove right wing talking points are being censored. (1/25)
News anchors are getting fired for speaking out against the presidential approved narrative, there’s an ongoing military occupation of American cities, studies that disprove right wing talking points are being censored. (1/25)
September 19, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Week 35 - Censorship
News anchors are getting fired for speaking out against the presidential approved narrative, there’s an ongoing military occupation of American cities, studies that disprove right wing talking points are being censored. (1/25)
News anchors are getting fired for speaking out against the presidential approved narrative, there’s an ongoing military occupation of American cities, studies that disprove right wing talking points are being censored. (1/25)
Week 34 - Charlie Kirk
“When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror…we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.” - East (1/35)
“When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror…we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.” - East (1/35)
September 12, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Week 34 - Charlie Kirk
“When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror…we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.” - East (1/35)
“When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror…we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.” - East (1/35)
Thoughts and fucking prayers for fascist Charlie Kirk.
Charlie Kirk in 2023: "It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment."
Looks like he became part of the cost.
Charlie Kirk in 2023: "It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment."
Looks like he became part of the cost.
September 10, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Thoughts and fucking prayers for fascist Charlie Kirk.
Charlie Kirk in 2023: "It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment."
Looks like he became part of the cost.
Charlie Kirk in 2023: "It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment."
Looks like he became part of the cost.
The rebrand seems to be going well.
September 8, 2025 at 9:47 PM
The rebrand seems to be going well.
Week 33 - The President of War
A sitting US President declaring war on a US city for the reason of ‘high crime rate’ via a fucking tweet with an AI generated image is peak 2025 absurdity. I’d expect nothing less at this point. (1/16)
A sitting US President declaring war on a US city for the reason of ‘high crime rate’ via a fucking tweet with an AI generated image is peak 2025 absurdity. I’d expect nothing less at this point. (1/16)
September 8, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Week 33 - The President of War
A sitting US President declaring war on a US city for the reason of ‘high crime rate’ via a fucking tweet with an AI generated image is peak 2025 absurdity. I’d expect nothing less at this point. (1/16)
A sitting US President declaring war on a US city for the reason of ‘high crime rate’ via a fucking tweet with an AI generated image is peak 2025 absurdity. I’d expect nothing less at this point. (1/16)