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thegarlicpress.bsky.social
The Garlic Press
@thegarlicpress.bsky.social
180 followers 75 following 140 posts
Fictional publication highlighting the hypocrisy of America. We are covid cautious and aware, followers of science, and have deep-rooted sarcastic souls.
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thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Alternative arithmetic based on vibes and ideology being introduced to schools. #alternativefacts #fascism #authoritarianism #potusbelyin #executiveorder #thegarlicpress
Fictional publication headline that says "the Garlic Press: Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers". There is an image of the president looking at the camera, holding a piece of paper that says "Executive Order 2+2=5" with a signature under it, and a headline that says "Executive Order Rewrites Math Curriculum: Truth Is a Suggestion, Not a Sum. Calculators Recalled for Spreading Misinformation". the bottom of the page says "by Norman B. Lyon".
September 7, 2025 at 6:46 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Thank goodness for the incompetent staff at the White Haus or we wouldn't have learned this gem. #fascism #authoritarianism #TACO #thegarlicpress #putincrushesataco
Publication titled "the Garlic Press: Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers", with an image of Vladimir Putin with a little smirk as he eats a taco. The title below the image says "Kremlin Cancels Lunch Summit After Putin Claims: 'Sorry, Just Crushed a Taco'." The author says "by Ivana Chalupa"
August 17, 2025 at 11:51 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
The president is considering not being so tough on criminal immigrants. Stay tuned.

#thegarlicpress #deepstatedonnie #immigrationcrackdown #releasetheepsteinfiles #pedopresident
Fictional publication with a title of "the Garlic Press: Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers". There is a cartoon image with two panels, the one on the left shows four brown men handcuffed and in orange jumpsuits, being lead through a door that says "deport" by three mean looking ICE agents, with the other panel shows an older white woman with brown hair, in a blue jumpsuit and is not handcuffed, lead through a door that says "pardon" by one smiling ICE agent that has given her cash.
July 27, 2025 at 7:27 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
A rare meeting of the minds between MAGA and libs.

#thegarlicpress #epsteinfiles #deepstatedonnie #deepstate #nothingtoseehere #maga #libs
picture of a young adult man with dark hair smiling while drinking a red can of soda that says "Cane Sugar Soda" and reading some pages that say "Epstein File (private, confidential, & non-existent), by: O. Bummer, J. Commie, and Crooked Biden",, with a headline that says " MAGA and Libs Agree: Cold Cane Sugar Soda Pairs Best With Dreams of Reading the Epstein Files, by Deep State Donnie", and with a title that says "the Garlic Press 'Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers'"
July 17, 2025 at 3:48 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
"No longer will we try to hide it" is the new motto of the United States.

#greed #fear #evil #whitehouse #republicans #racism #sexism #nationalism #fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #latestagecapitalism #garlicpress
Bronze scale showing the word "need" on the left and the word "greed" on the right, with green being much heavier and closer to the ground.
July 4, 2025 at 1:39 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Oops.

#broligarchy #fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #latestagecapitalism #groupchat #potus #garlicpress
Fictional publication from "the Garlic Press: Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers" with headline that says "Trump Administration Accidentally Leaks Plans for Military Strikes in Yemen in Group Chat, Proving Again that DUI Hires Aren't Effective.", with an image of a group chat with indiscernible writing, emojis with different faces, and in large font the word "OOPSIE"
March 25, 2025 at 12:03 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
You can boil them, fry them, saute them, bake them, mix them in cake, brownies, or custard, devil them, add them to soup or stirfry, or throw them on someone's house.

#oligarchy #fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #latestagecapitalism #eggs #potus #obtuse #garlicpress
A modern orange US president wearing an 18th-century navy and orange suit holding a bunch of eggs while smirking and oblivious. There is a headline that says "Let Them Eat Eggs! Scrambled Policies, Fried Wallets: The President's Recipe for Disaster. by E Benedict Inflation". The title of the publication is "the Garlic Press: Peeling Back 'Merica's Stinky Layers"
March 11, 2025 at 11:52 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Be sure to email your manager to let them know what you did this last week!

#broligarchy #oligarchy #fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #latestagecapitalism #wereonlycogsinamachine #garlicpress
image of cogs in a machine being run by blue-collar workers, being overseen by three rich old men with white beards, suits and tophats - with headline that says "The Great Wealth Transfer Continues - And Spoiler, It's Not coming Your Way"
March 8, 2025 at 1:27 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Nothing says "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness'" like a $1,000,000,000 price tag!

#broligarchy #oligarchy #fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #tinywilly #garlicpress
Picture of a ticket booth in the middle of a street, where the buildings are blurred on the sides, where the ticket booth says "1 Billion Dollars" and "Human Rights"
February 15, 2025 at 1:16 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
All that research into 45's tremendous, bigly, covfefe idea down the drain.

#fascism #democracyisdying #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #tinywilly #covidisnotover #covidisreal #bleachinjection #garlicpress
A white table with a hyperdemic needle next to a vial with a label that says "Freedom Rinse: Because real Americans don't trust doctors!".
February 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Gulf of America is the new freedom fries.

#gulfofmexico #gulfofamerica #fascism #democracyisdying #resist #destruction #bluestorm #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #tinywilly #garlicpress
Map of the Gulf of Mexico renamed Gulf of Fragile Masculinity.
January 29, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Reposted by The Garlic Press
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Well, if the government says so, it must be true?!
#covidisnotover #covidisreal #garlicpress
November 15, 2024 at 11:10 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
The orange trumphole absorbs all in its path.

#fascism #democracyisdying #blackhole #destruction #egoovercountry #fragilemasculinity #tinywilly #garlicpress
Vast orange-colored black hole. It starts black on the edges moves to a bright orange in the center.
January 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
There's no avoiding getting Long Trump now. Just like long covid, we need to rest so we can fight. Stay kind, we're gonna need each other. Y'all take care of yourselves, it's gonna be a rough ride.

#longcovid #fascism #democracyisdying #covidisreal #covidisnotover #covidcautious #garlicpress
Petrie dish with orange colored virus in it, which are sitting on top of the American flag.
January 19, 2025 at 2:23 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Immunity flexing via all the pathogens. Who knew being sick would be so healthy?!

#covidisreal #covidisnotover #stillcoviding #covidcautious #immunityfallacy #garlicpress
Sick woman with her eyes closed, weakly flexing her right bicep and making a fist with her left hand, in a hospital room with a bunch of machines behind her.
January 3, 2025 at 9:22 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Saw a post asking for help with their 4yo who will not give up their pacifier. A response was "It seems to be happening with covid babies. They didn't socialize like other kids. They're thrust back into socializing now without knowing how".

Good lord...we are f*cked. 🙄

#covidisnotover #covidisreal
December 20, 2024 at 2:23 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Do the sweet potato fries taste better when seasoned with RSV, covid, or streptococcus pneumoniae? Surprise me!

#covidisreal #covidisnotover #stillcoviding #covidcautious #collectivedenial #normalcyoverhealth #garlicpress
family of four sitting in a booth at a restaurant where the walls are on fire and virus particles are floating in the air. Two people are coughing, one is talking, and the other is praying.
December 19, 2024 at 2:37 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
It doesn't look so bad, right?

#covidisreal #covidisnotover #stillcoviding #covidcautious #polio #antivaxxers #ironlung #garlicpress
black and white image of a person in an iron lung machine, with only their head visible, with a nurse standing over them smiling.
December 13, 2024 at 12:28 AM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Will they begin to eat each other? Or will they look for Bluer Skies?

#covidcautious #stillcoviding #covidisreal #garlicpress #bluesky
Wide shot of a dump with small, broken-down buildings, only a few people, and hundreds of rats and other foragers looking for people who usually provide their sustenance.
November 30, 2024 at 1:42 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
It's a headscratcher.

#covidisnotover #covidisreal #covidcautious #stillcoviding #garlicpress #heartattack
Human heart with virus particles floating all around it.
November 29, 2024 at 1:44 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
During covid, post-pandemic, during the pandemic...take your pick for the best slogan in self-gaslighting.

#covidisnotover #covidisreal #covidcautious #stillcoviding #wishfulthinking #garlicpress
40-something white man with salt and pepper short hair holding his hands out and shrugging as if to give up.
November 24, 2024 at 12:46 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
It turns out that wishful thinking doesn't cure covid. Who knew?

#covidisnotover #covidisreal #covidcautious #stillcoviding #wishfulthinking #garlicpress
Early 30s white woman with long blonde, straight hair, eyes closed, fingers crossed on both hands, wishing hard.
November 23, 2024 at 1:25 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
What could go wrong?

#garlicpress #archiebunker #thosewerethedays #HUD
Picture of Archie Bunker sneering at the camera with a cigar.
November 15, 2024 at 11:10 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
Trusting billionaires with the needs of everyday people sounds like a wise idea.🙄
November 15, 2024 at 11:10 PM
thegarlicpress.bsky.social
The newest season of The Lung Scarring Club has begun!
#covidcautious #stillcoviding #covidisnotover #covidisreal #garlicpress
November 15, 2024 at 11:10 PM