The False Nine
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thefalsenine.bsky.social
The False Nine
@thefalsenine.bsky.social
Purveyors of interesting nonsense. DM for inquiries or story pitch ideas. Texia est viridis!

https://thefalse9texas.com
Our End of Season Superlatives for Austin FC:

thefalseninetx.substack.com/p/the-false-...
The False Nine End of Season Superlatives
By Staff
thefalseninetx.substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 12:15 AM
The False Nine 2025 Pre-Match Training Top Rankings:

open.substack.com/pub/thefalse...
November 13, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Reposted by The False Nine
Did Underage Girls Ruin Politics?

Tomorrow in the @nytimes.com
November 12, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Reposted by The False Nine
Ugh, please no, Nico/Rodo! 😭
November 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
From The False Nine News Desk: Paul Arriola spotted in The Domain. Could he be coming to Austin FC to re-unite with former coach Nico Estevez?
November 12, 2025 at 2:31 AM
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and watch for the third man runs.
November 3, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Reposted by The False Nine
Uzuni is garbage. Toss him.
No one stepped up.
Cascante is gone. Good.
Wolff should been better.
Why was Bukari out. Robin needs to go.
Zan needs a team friendly contract or cut him.
Desler is a life line.
Stuver was okay at best.
November 3, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Reposted by The False Nine
Liked: The other game in this series. Some meaningless second half momentum.
Disliked: Buka and Rubio not being able to play. Mistakes leading to transition goals. Ilie getting beat for a goal the second game in a row. Stu coming out on that goal. The missed PK. Another playoffs ended by LAFC.
November 3, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Ok Austin FC the season is over after a 4-1 thrashing by LAFC.

What did you like?

What didn’t you like?
November 3, 2025 at 4:50 AM
A season improved over last, but, as Robert Frost would say, miles to go before we sleep.
November 3, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Let’s not speak of this match
a man with a beard is touching another man 's face and says shhhh
ALT: a man with a beard is touching another man 's face and says shhhh
media.tenor.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:54 AM
NOT NECESSARY
November 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Austin High School was originally not technically named for Stephen F Austin. Rather, it was the city of Austin’s school
November 3, 2025 at 3:47 AM
House Park (12th and Lamar) is where Woodrow Wilson’s WW1 advisor, Edward House, would keep his horses.
November 3, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Pease Park is on the site of Gov. Elisha Pease’s plantation.

He supported the Union yet enslaved people.
November 3, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Max Bretos is so cute. He talks like we have a chance.

#AustinFC
November 3, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Us in a nutshell
November 3, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Cryuff is crying in Soccer Heaven rn
Playing a 1-3-4-3

Classic Dutch system. Time for some totaalvoetbal

#AustinFC
November 3, 2025 at 3:26 AM
This match still going on?
November 3, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Admin also remembers the active firing range at DPS at Lamar and Koenig.
November 3, 2025 at 3:21 AM
First Research on Airport Blvd used to be a Buttercrust bakery. You could smell bread all over the area.
November 3, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Old Austinites pronounce the neighborhood of the former airport “Miller” while newer transplants pronounce it “Myuu-ler.”
November 3, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Austin has a wonderful trail system, great swimming, and a solid food scene
November 3, 2025 at 3:14 AM
In other news, Macallan makes a lovely dram.
November 3, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Big fan of CJ and his potential.

His barber? Not so much.
November 3, 2025 at 3:08 AM