ME: (buys single item from a company)
COMPANY: (later that day) Hey check this out & buy it
ME: No, company, I bought the one item I desired
COMPANY: (outside my house, trying to push the window open) Hey guy, did you buy that other thing yet? (struggling to fit thru gap in window)
COMPANY: (later that day) Hey check this out & buy it
ME: No, company, I bought the one item I desired
COMPANY: (outside my house, trying to push the window open) Hey guy, did you buy that other thing yet? (struggling to fit thru gap in window)
February 4, 2025 at 3:18 PM
ME: (buys single item from a company)
COMPANY: (later that day) Hey check this out & buy it
ME: No, company, I bought the one item I desired
COMPANY: (outside my house, trying to push the window open) Hey guy, did you buy that other thing yet? (struggling to fit thru gap in window)
COMPANY: (later that day) Hey check this out & buy it
ME: No, company, I bought the one item I desired
COMPANY: (outside my house, trying to push the window open) Hey guy, did you buy that other thing yet? (struggling to fit thru gap in window)
A decision was made here and instantly regretted
January 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
A decision was made here and instantly regretted
Just found out these two were married at one point. They both love being on television. Their dinner conversation was probably like “so honey, were you in any television today?”
January 23, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Just found out these two were married at one point. They both love being on television. Their dinner conversation was probably like “so honey, were you in any television today?”
Folks, you can’t go wrong with peanuts, that classic legume
January 21, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Folks, you can’t go wrong with peanuts, that classic legume
“Honey how many French toast sticks do we need?”
“I don’t know, like 90-105 I’d say? Actually you know what, just to be safe grab another 3.5 pounds”
“I don’t know, like 90-105 I’d say? Actually you know what, just to be safe grab another 3.5 pounds”
January 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
“Honey how many French toast sticks do we need?”
“I don’t know, like 90-105 I’d say? Actually you know what, just to be safe grab another 3.5 pounds”
“I don’t know, like 90-105 I’d say? Actually you know what, just to be safe grab another 3.5 pounds”
Just finished another rewatch of Breaking Bad and this gets me every time
January 4, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Just finished another rewatch of Breaking Bad and this gets me every time
[Christmas morning]
CEO OF BIC: What did Santa Claus bring you kids?
KID 1: Razors!
KID 2: Ballpoint pens!
KID 3: A lighter!
CEO OF BIC: What did Santa Claus bring you kids?
KID 1: Razors!
KID 2: Ballpoint pens!
KID 3: A lighter!
December 25, 2024 at 1:55 PM
[Christmas morning]
CEO OF BIC: What did Santa Claus bring you kids?
KID 1: Razors!
KID 2: Ballpoint pens!
KID 3: A lighter!
CEO OF BIC: What did Santa Claus bring you kids?
KID 1: Razors!
KID 2: Ballpoint pens!
KID 3: A lighter!
Whoever named the woodpecker: great job, no notes
December 24, 2024 at 5:59 PM
Whoever named the woodpecker: great job, no notes
Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
December 21, 2024 at 7:52 PM
Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
I work in customer service and this is me every December holiday period
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December 10, 2024 at 4:30 PM
I work in customer service and this is me every December holiday period
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Reposted by pat tobin
Ask your doctor if the human condition is right for you
September 20, 2023 at 1:26 AM
Ask your doctor if the human condition is right for you
Reposted by pat tobin
CELLMATE: “What are you in for?”
ME: “Hopefully a great time.”
ME: “Hopefully a great time.”
October 31, 2024 at 2:54 AM
CELLMATE: “What are you in for?”
ME: “Hopefully a great time.”
ME: “Hopefully a great time.”
Reposted by pat tobin
Just clocking out from the nuclear waste factory and boy are my arms fourteen legs.
November 19, 2024 at 10:05 PM
Just clocking out from the nuclear waste factory and boy are my arms fourteen legs.
Manager: Your fired
Me: *You're
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you
Me: *You're
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you
December 5, 2024 at 6:53 PM
Manager: Your fired
Me: *You're
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you
Me: *You're
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you
Reposted by pat tobin
For those going home to visit family this weekend:
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
November 25, 2024 at 11:31 PM
For those going home to visit family this weekend:
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
Reposted by pat tobin
*beetle opens front door for bug party guests*
BEETLE: Hey guys come on in! Could everyone please take off their shoes?
CENTIPEDE: Shit
BEETLE: Hey guys come on in! Could everyone please take off their shoes?
CENTIPEDE: Shit
November 23, 2024 at 7:11 PM
*beetle opens front door for bug party guests*
BEETLE: Hey guys come on in! Could everyone please take off their shoes?
CENTIPEDE: Shit
BEETLE: Hey guys come on in! Could everyone please take off their shoes?
CENTIPEDE: Shit
Not a bad way to go if you’re in a final destination movie
November 23, 2024 at 6:38 PM
Not a bad way to go if you’re in a final destination movie
Meat Loaf is cheesy for sure, but so good
November 23, 2024 at 12:51 AM
Meat Loaf is cheesy for sure, but so good
"I'm the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit" "Not anymore" New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon
November 7, 2024 at 5:55 PM
"I'm the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit" "Not anymore" New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon
Reminder of one of the darkest moments in history
November 7, 2024 at 5:54 PM
Reminder of one of the darkest moments in history
YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u
November 7, 2024 at 5:53 PM
YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u
My wife used to work for this super old dude and one day he had an X-Files hat on at the office. She says to him “You like the X-Files too?” And he goes “what’s the X-Files?” And she says “your hat” and he says “oh I found this on the beach”
November 7, 2024 at 5:52 PM
My wife used to work for this super old dude and one day he had an X-Files hat on at the office. She says to him “You like the X-Files too?” And he goes “what’s the X-Files?” And she says “your hat” and he says “oh I found this on the beach”
This shot from The Last of Us is still the funniest thing to happen this year.
December 13, 2023 at 11:51 PM
This shot from The Last of Us is still the funniest thing to happen this year.