Jane Altoids
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staticbluebat.bsky.social
Jane Altoids
@staticbluebat.bsky.social
7.7K followers 1.3K following 2.5K posts
I am a famous celebrity of world renown. I am also the Broke Poet.
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staticbluebat.bsky.social
Poem
December 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 27, 2025 at 3:39 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
Poem
December 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
Happy holidays!
December 25, 2025 at 2:41 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 24, 2025 at 10:57 PM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 24, 2025 at 8:16 PM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 23, 2025 at 3:32 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 22, 2025 at 2:51 AM
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queenbuttpirate.bsky.social
The cover to Xeresgate: The Castle Within (A Novel) by Michael R. Holt
December 21, 2025 at 12:15 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 21, 2025 at 2:48 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 20, 2025 at 9:30 PM
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staidindoors.bsky.social
December 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 18, 2025 at 7:12 AM
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puzzlebombs.bsky.social
TIL Allan Arkush reviews his own movies
December 16, 2025 at 12:01 PM
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staidindoors.bsky.social
December 17, 2025 at 5:29 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 16, 2025 at 4:25 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 13, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Reposted by Jane Altoids
staticbluebat.bsky.social
Down to about $17, I just need a little more to cover for gas for the next few days and then I should get paid Monday. I appreciate you all!
staticbluebat.bsky.social Jane Altoids @staticbluebat.bsky.social · 21d
First half of the month is difficult with rent, if you’ve liked my posts or poems and would like to help it definitely helps with gas and groceries!
December 11, 2025 at 8:32 PM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
Down to about $17, I just need a little more to cover for gas for the next few days and then I should get paid Monday. I appreciate you all!
staticbluebat.bsky.social Jane Altoids @staticbluebat.bsky.social · 21d
First half of the month is difficult with rent, if you’ve liked my posts or poems and would like to help it definitely helps with gas and groceries!
December 11, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Reposted by Jane Altoids
queenbuttpirate.bsky.social
I think the problem with Kazan is he wants to write legal thrillers, which is great when he’s writing a legal thriller and not so great when he’s writing anything else
Part one of my three star, hearted review of Enough (2002, dir. Michael Apted): Once you know this was originally supposed to be a Sandra Bullock vehicle a lot of things start to make sense. Like, the movie acknowledges that structural racism exists but never that it applies to Jennifer Lopez. Her freak husband leverages the fact that the police are more likely to believe him, a white man, against her friend, a person of color, but never against her. It's so weird once you know to look for it, they needed a few screenplay tweaks once they hired Lopez and they clearly never happened. The screenplay could've used more than a few tweaks in general, anyway. It's full of Nicholas Kazan's trademark arch, screenwriter-y dialogue, which he's utilizing for scene after scene of characters explaining to each other how the justice system is stacked against abused women. Which is true, obviously, but Part two of my review: abused women. Which is true, obviously, but the story kind of undercuts the message by making the abusive husband a cackling supervillain with goons and connections to the cops when in reality (and the move knows this! It acknowledges this!) all it really takes to dodge an abuse accusation is often a normal-ish guy going "she's lying". Lopez is really giving it her all here, but she's way out of her wheelhouse and struggles to make the play-like dialogue sound like something a human being would say (who wouldn't). I'm complaining a lot but I did enjoy the movie. There's a lot of really good, really well observed bits about abuse and recovery in it, even if the third act (and weirdly only the third act, it feel like any other movie would've made this the whole movie is a pretty straightforward Hollywood revenge thriller. I liked the scene where she shows her bruises to her mother in law, who hugs her and comforts her before asking what she said to set him off. If you want to feel good about an abuser getting his ass kicked then you'll eventually enjoy this! You might even like some of the proceeding stuff!
December 10, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Reposted by Jane Altoids
staticbluebat.bsky.social
First half of the month is difficult with rent, if you’ve liked my posts or poems and would like to help it definitely helps with gas and groceries!
December 7, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Reposted by Jane Altoids
queenbuttpirate.bsky.social
Maybe I’m just particularly mad about Netflix right now but this hit me in a way that kinda turned me into cinemasins and I’ll never stop hating it for that
The first half of my one star review for Choose or Die: Why do two computer savvy young people never think to look up online the mysterious video game they found? Why does the modern internet seemingly not exist in this movie? What stopped them from just setting the movie in the 80s if they only wanted to use tech from that period? Doesn't "the waitress at your local diner eats glass while you futilely try to stop her" feel a bit much for the first challenge of the game? Don't they want to leave themselves some room to escalate? Why are they trying to pass off a movie that's clearly been shot in London with a UK cast as Americans in New York? Have they just never The second half of my one star review of Choose or Die: Americans in New York? Have they just never seen either city and didn't realize they're extremely visually distinct from each other? Why did they think "goofy 80s pc game with someone screaming over the phone in the background" was scary? Why did they think they could make youtube poop editing scary? Why more or less abandon the entire game aspect in the third act in favor of a much more generic curse plot? Why the secret gamergate villain thing? Why wouldn't you work that theme more into the movie if you wanted to make the third act so much about it? Is that sequel hook ending a fucking joke? All these questions and more will presumably not be answered in the sequel because I don't think anyone watched this, let alone liked it.
December 9, 2025 at 6:30 PM
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queenbuttpirate.bsky.social
Oh I loved the score btw, I love that it sounds like an indie visual novel
My three and a half star hearted review of Friendship: So I'm trying to figure out why the "Tim Robinson character" guy is so fun for so long when I binge ITYSL but so punishing for an hour and a half here, and I think it's that when you're watching sketches the characters reset and there's a new thing happening. He's not a real person with an interior life and other real people who have to live with him and his decisions. I haven't physically reacted to a movie like I did here in a while. An almost genre-defining entry in Detestable Worm Cinema. Robinson has a real talent for portraying how flat and pathetic and empty most anger is. There's a lot of really sharply written and performed kinds of Guys in here. I laughed a lot. It's just the at when you make a movie about a guy who's a tough hang, it's tough to hang with him.
December 9, 2025 at 3:35 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
December 8, 2025 at 6:24 AM
staticbluebat.bsky.social
Older poem I like
December 7, 2025 at 10:47 PM