Carlos B. Eaton
@someheifer.bsky.social
But that’s not my grandmother, darling, that’s a demon. IG -> @someheifer
📍Chicago
📍Chicago
“I won’t make an alt but if you wanna see me naked, just ask.”
- Carlos B. Eaton, unprompted
- Carlos B. Eaton, unprompted
January 1, 2026 at 9:22 PM
“I won’t make an alt but if you wanna see me naked, just ask.”
- Carlos B. Eaton, unprompted
- Carlos B. Eaton, unprompted
1. My man my man my man
2. FINEEEE I’ll be better about working out lol
2. FINEEEE I’ll be better about working out lol
I look tired so cropped but here is my body at day one let’s check back in 365 days and see where we are at!
January 1, 2026 at 8:50 PM
1. My man my man my man
2. FINEEEE I’ll be better about working out lol
2. FINEEEE I’ll be better about working out lol
Our views are indeed, dare I say, cunt
New year same living room window views!
The freighters never stop!
The freighters never stop!
January 1, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Our views are indeed, dare I say, cunt
Should my first meal of 2026 be some cinnamon rolls from Ann Sather with the extra frosting or
January 1, 2026 at 3:14 PM
Should my first meal of 2026 be some cinnamon rolls from Ann Sather with the extra frosting or
Picture of the staff who operate this Bluesky account…
January 1, 2026 at 6:17 AM
Picture of the staff who operate this Bluesky account…
THE CLOCK HAS STRUCK TWELVE QUICK SOMEONE EAT MY ASS
January 1, 2026 at 6:02 AM
THE CLOCK HAS STRUCK TWELVE QUICK SOMEONE EAT MY ASS
I feel like everyone saying Happy New Year already should all wait for another 42 minutes until the clock strikes 12 for me specifically
January 1, 2026 at 5:18 AM
I feel like everyone saying Happy New Year already should all wait for another 42 minutes until the clock strikes 12 for me specifically
This is the least NYE-y NYE you know what I mean
January 1, 2026 at 3:49 AM
This is the least NYE-y NYE you know what I mean
I wanna feel what I felt the first time I heard the Jubilife Village theme from Pokemon Legends Arceus 😭 like that was a kinder, gentler America you know what I mean
January 1, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I wanna feel what I felt the first time I heard the Jubilife Village theme from Pokemon Legends Arceus 😭 like that was a kinder, gentler America you know what I mean
But fr like I obv don’t mind going out and doing stuff but it’s the same for my birthday or like any new… era or whatever… I like to bring it in as relaxed as possible because I want the incoming year to be… not stressful lmao it never works but werk
January 1, 2026 at 3:13 AM
But fr like I obv don’t mind going out and doing stuff but it’s the same for my birthday or like any new… era or whatever… I like to bring it in as relaxed as possible because I want the incoming year to be… not stressful lmao it never works but werk
Bugonia…
Yorgos Lanthimos you sick genius fuck
Yorgos Lanthimos you sick genius fuck
January 1, 2026 at 3:07 AM
Bugonia…
Yorgos Lanthimos you sick genius fuck
Yorgos Lanthimos you sick genius fuck
Ngl idk why but I’ve never fucked with NYE festivities. Like it’s a new year, why would I want to ring it in by cavorting around in a small dungeon? Why not chill and relax, chillax if you will, at HOME WITH CAKE?? 😍
January 1, 2026 at 1:06 AM
Ngl idk why but I’ve never fucked with NYE festivities. Like it’s a new year, why would I want to ring it in by cavorting around in a small dungeon? Why not chill and relax, chillax if you will, at HOME WITH CAKE?? 😍
Leaving 2025 like
December 31, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Leaving 2025 like
WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO SEND MEDIA VIA DM ON BLUESKY, PEOPLE!! THIS IS PRUDENT FOR THE GOOD OF ALL HUMANITY! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!!
December 31, 2025 at 7:50 PM
WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO SEND MEDIA VIA DM ON BLUESKY, PEOPLE!! THIS IS PRUDENT FOR THE GOOD OF ALL HUMANITY! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!!
Almost 2026*
December 31, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Almost 2026*
I feel like I should be social media famous but like the world is racist and all kinds of phobic and all around wrong so what can you do ya know
December 31, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I feel like I should be social media famous but like the world is racist and all kinds of phobic and all around wrong so what can you do ya know
The almighty supreme floptina
Elon Musk promised a lot of things by 2025
- colonists arriving on Mars
- xAI achieving AGI
- Tesla robotaxis serving half the U.S.
- completely driverless robotaxis
- a Tesla Roadster demo
- DOGE cutting trillions
none of them happened
mashable.com/article/elon-mus...
- colonists arriving on Mars
- xAI achieving AGI
- Tesla robotaxis serving half the U.S.
- completely driverless robotaxis
- a Tesla Roadster demo
- DOGE cutting trillions
none of them happened
mashable.com/article/elon-mus...
Everything Elon Musk promised in 2025, but didn't deliver
Musk is now infamous for his false promises, but even this is excessive.
mashable.com
December 31, 2025 at 6:03 PM
The almighty supreme floptina
Reposted by Carlos B. Eaton
Republicans are terrible at governing but exceptional at turning minor scandals into major conspiracies and major conspiracies into minor scandals.
December 31, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Republicans are terrible at governing but exceptional at turning minor scandals into major conspiracies and major conspiracies into minor scandals.
It’s also her day
!!!
December 31, 2025 at 3:40 PM
It’s also her day
Wait but I want to know what Nicole Paige Brooks has to say about all this
December 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Wait but I want to know what Nicole Paige Brooks has to say about all this
Amy sh*mer’s humor was literally always doing something like pointing to a freckle on her arm and being like hehehe see this? It’s my vagina!
Like yall why did we as a society allow her to become famous?
Like yall why did we as a society allow her to become famous?
December 30, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Amy sh*mer’s humor was literally always doing something like pointing to a freckle on her arm and being like hehehe see this? It’s my vagina!
Like yall why did we as a society allow her to become famous?
Like yall why did we as a society allow her to become famous?
When I learned that most people like their water room temp, that’s really when the curtain started to fall for me
December 30, 2025 at 2:50 AM
When I learned that most people like their water room temp, that’s really when the curtain started to fall for me
I’m in the bedroom and @imaaronrobert.bsky.social just happens to come in ONLY whenever I’m watching vids about this woman who killed her boyfriend with a suitcase and now he thinks I’m obsessed and plotting
December 30, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I’m in the bedroom and @imaaronrobert.bsky.social just happens to come in ONLY whenever I’m watching vids about this woman who killed her boyfriend with a suitcase and now he thinks I’m obsessed and plotting