Snorklehorse
@snorklehorse.bsky.social
Desperately trying not to say anything stupid on social media that gets me cancelled.
Follow me for Everton moaning, terrible FPL takes and an impressive lack of new musical taste.
Follow me for Everton moaning, terrible FPL takes and an impressive lack of new musical taste.
Finally booked our flights and hotels for the World Cup next year.
We’re all going to Portugal instead for 4 nights. Screw Trump.
We’re all going to Portugal instead for 4 nights. Screw Trump.
November 20, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Finally booked our flights and hotels for the World Cup next year.
We’re all going to Portugal instead for 4 nights. Screw Trump.
We’re all going to Portugal instead for 4 nights. Screw Trump.
On a call with someone whose surname is Whoolie but pronounced it “Hoolie”. Yeah, I’m not doing that.
November 20, 2025 at 10:44 AM
On a call with someone whose surname is Whoolie but pronounced it “Hoolie”. Yeah, I’m not doing that.
Managed to get 4 Pulp tickets for next summer in Manchester which is nice. Weirdly I only logged on 90 minutes into the presale so it can’t be as popular as I’d assumed.
November 19, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Managed to get 4 Pulp tickets for next summer in Manchester which is nice. Weirdly I only logged on 90 minutes into the presale so it can’t be as popular as I’d assumed.
Anyone else watch Brassic? Is that Carvery episode really the last one ever? Really?
November 17, 2025 at 10:03 AM
Anyone else watch Brassic? Is that Carvery episode really the last one ever? Really?
Just got details of the seats I bought through Seat Unique for Newcastle.
Club View Seats on the halfway line, half way up I was promised. Are they fuck. Worse than my previous tickets and right on the back row. Bastards. Is it worth calling the club?
Club View Seats on the halfway line, half way up I was promised. Are they fuck. Worse than my previous tickets and right on the back row. Bastards. Is it worth calling the club?
November 14, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Just got details of the seats I bought through Seat Unique for Newcastle.
Club View Seats on the halfway line, half way up I was promised. Are they fuck. Worse than my previous tickets and right on the back row. Bastards. Is it worth calling the club?
Club View Seats on the halfway line, half way up I was promised. Are they fuck. Worse than my previous tickets and right on the back row. Bastards. Is it worth calling the club?
Ross Barkley scored today?
November 9, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Ross Barkley scored today?
I’m not sure the I’m a celebrity team have really understood who Aitch and “Angry Ginge” are. I’ve seen loads where they’re joking about each others mums, etc, and the swear count will be through the roof. Could be interesting..
November 9, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I’m not sure the I’m a celebrity team have really understood who Aitch and “Angry Ginge” are. I’ve seen loads where they’re joking about each others mums, etc, and the swear count will be through the roof. Could be interesting..
Unbelievable that the VAR team has looked at that penalty decision against Newcastle and not given it!
November 9, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Unbelievable that the VAR team has looked at that penalty decision against Newcastle and not given it!
We’re being cheated out of legitimate goals today. Absolute cheats up in that VAR box.
November 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
We’re being cheated out of legitimate goals today. Absolute cheats up in that VAR box.
How come our goals that are disallowed for offside are checked and moved on from so quickly?…
November 8, 2025 at 3:44 PM
How come our goals that are disallowed for offside are checked and moved on from so quickly?…
Tickets for Newcastle sorted cheers. Got two on resale and two more via Club Seats as there’s four of us. 👍
November 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Tickets for Newcastle sorted cheers. Got two on resale and two more via Club Seats as there’s four of us. 👍
All sold out for the Newcastle game including resale. Looks like seat bastard unique for me then!! Unless anyone has 2 or 4 tickets for sale??
November 7, 2025 at 10:29 AM
All sold out for the Newcastle game including resale. Looks like seat bastard unique for me then!! Unless anyone has 2 or 4 tickets for sale??
Traitors. No spoilers but: brilliant series that.
November 6, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Traitors. No spoilers but: brilliant series that.
Have people started hearing back about the Newcastle game via the ballot yet?
November 6, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Have people started hearing back about the Newcastle game via the ballot yet?
Pochetino is missing the PL and is available after the World Cup next year. Reckon we should get that sorted out and move Moyes upstairs.
November 6, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Pochetino is missing the PL and is available after the World Cup next year. Reckon we should get that sorted out and move Moyes upstairs.
Appalling from Everton yet again. Idiots.
November 3, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Appalling from Everton yet again. Idiots.
This has all the hallmarks of a Sunderland comeback. Stupid Everton.
November 3, 2025 at 8:34 PM
This has all the hallmarks of a Sunderland comeback. Stupid Everton.
Well who’d have thought that Mary Earps would reveal herself to be a jealous, spiteful bellend?
November 2, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Well who’d have thought that Mary Earps would reveal herself to be a jealous, spiteful bellend?
Towns with seemingly no immigration issues who have tonnes of Union Jack and England flags up for no reason:
Bakewell. You’ve joined the list.
Bakewell. You’ve joined the list.
November 2, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Towns with seemingly no immigration issues who have tonnes of Union Jack and England flags up for no reason:
Bakewell. You’ve joined the list.
Bakewell. You’ve joined the list.
According to Opta we’re the 29th best team in de weeeeerrrrlllld. Moyes out!!!
October 31, 2025 at 11:26 AM
According to Opta we’re the 29th best team in de weeeeerrrrlllld. Moyes out!!!
Just seen someone do a video on Village Street at the new stadium. Looks decent but also makes the normal concourse look a bit shit. How do people get seats there? Is it season tickets and corporate only?
October 30, 2025 at 8:43 AM
Just seen someone do a video on Village Street at the new stadium. Looks decent but also makes the normal concourse look a bit shit. How do people get seats there? Is it season tickets and corporate only?
Haha that RS young defender who got sent off on his debut after 4 minutes has just got sent off again on his second appearance. He was on the pitch for 12 minutes this time. Lovely stuff.
October 29, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Haha that RS young defender who got sent off on his debut after 4 minutes has just got sent off again on his second appearance. He was on the pitch for 12 minutes this time. Lovely stuff.
Looking at all these teams playing their reserves in the fizzy pop cup just makes me even angrier about how we threw the game v wolves.
October 29, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Looking at all these teams playing their reserves in the fizzy pop cup just makes me even angrier about how we threw the game v wolves.
Only just realised that Ndiaye and Gueye will miss a month for the AFCON. About 6, maybe 7 games…
a man in a red shirt is sitting on a couch with his eyes closed and says how i 'm feeling .
ALT: a man in a red shirt is sitting on a couch with his eyes closed and says how i 'm feeling .
media.tenor.com
October 29, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Only just realised that Ndiaye and Gueye will miss a month for the AFCON. About 6, maybe 7 games…