Snorklehorse
@snorklehorse.bsky.social
Desperately trying not to say anything stupid on social media that gets me cancelled.
Follow me for Everton moaning, terrible FPL takes and an impressive lack of new musical taste.
Follow me for Everton moaning, terrible FPL takes and an impressive lack of new musical taste.
Ross Barkley scored today?
November 9, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Ross Barkley scored today?
According to Opta we’re the 29th best team in de weeeeerrrrlllld. Moyes out!!!
October 31, 2025 at 11:26 AM
According to Opta we’re the 29th best team in de weeeeerrrrlllld. Moyes out!!!
Paying off Jack again a bit at a time.
September 29, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Paying off Jack again a bit at a time.
Fuck me this is high up. Hope we don’t score.
September 29, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Fuck me this is high up. Hope we don’t score.
“Doo White Mac Neil”
September 4, 2025 at 7:43 AM
“Doo White Mac Neil”
I forgot how much work that nervous rescue dogs can be. Not settling, pacing the rooms, weeing and pooing everywhere, crying in the night. And the dog’s just as bad.
September 2, 2025 at 9:17 AM
I forgot how much work that nervous rescue dogs can be. Not settling, pacing the rooms, weeing and pooing everywhere, crying in the night. And the dog’s just as bad.
There is literally nothing on this list I’d be looking forward to watching.
August 25, 2025 at 12:31 PM
There is literally nothing on this list I’d be looking forward to watching.
Mansfield had better not try this at the Big Dick stadium.
August 13, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Mansfield had better not try this at the Big Dick stadium.
Fuck sake. Two days to go on holiday and we’ve just heard that one of our dogs has needed to be put down at home. Daughter is distraught as you can imagine as she loved Gizmo more than anything. I’m having a beer.
RIP Gizmo.
RIP Gizmo.
August 8, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Fuck sake. Two days to go on holiday and we’ve just heard that one of our dogs has needed to be put down at home. Daughter is distraught as you can imagine as she loved Gizmo more than anything. I’m having a beer.
RIP Gizmo.
RIP Gizmo.
At the airport early. TIME FOR A STANDARD AIRPORT DRINK.
Christ iI’m old.
Christ iI’m old.
August 3, 2025 at 7:27 AM
At the airport early. TIME FOR A STANDARD AIRPORT DRINK.
Christ iI’m old.
Christ iI’m old.
No wonder Everton haven’t got any players when he’s getting distracted by his side-hustle!!
August 2, 2025 at 9:45 AM
No wonder Everton haven’t got any players when he’s getting distracted by his side-hustle!!
You’re going to be skinny and miserable. And working 5 days a week in an office.
August 1, 2025 at 4:47 PM
You’re going to be skinny and miserable. And working 5 days a week in an office.
Ha. Never change Everton.
July 28, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Ha. Never change Everton.
Oooh look at me I’m a services but also a farm shop. GROW UP!
June 15, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Oooh look at me I’m a services but also a farm shop. GROW UP!
I guess we were used to much worse at the time…
May 26, 2025 at 7:36 AM
I guess we were used to much worse at the time…
We’ll be celebrating Goodison Park after the game… for an hour!
May 8, 2025 at 6:29 PM
We’ll be celebrating Goodison Park after the game… for an hour!