🐌 Snaily Ham 🍖
snailyham.bsky.social
🐌 Snaily Ham 🍖
@snailyham.bsky.social
Miscreant. Walking cautionary tale. Frequent hot mess. Little package, big trouble.
She/Her
Actual Professional Dancer
I've had a puzzle out and in progress since Sunday, welllll...yesterday I was working on a portion and noticed that we definitely have a piece missing. The puzzle is almost done and it's very obviously missing. I'm sitting on the couch (after having sat here all morning/afternoon practically) aaand
February 13, 2026 at 9:18 PM
I booked a cabin a few weeks ago for next week and it's supposed to snow while we're there! I felt panicked trying to get it booked for some reason but it must have been my snow intuition ❄️
February 13, 2026 at 12:22 AM
Well, it finally happened. Went to peddle my wares and made not one sale
February 8, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Welp you can go ahead and put Put Your Records On by Corinne Baily Rae on the list of songs that make me cry for absolutely no fucking reason 😭😂
February 7, 2026 at 6:50 PM
The lesson *I* learned is that the second you pull a checked bag off the carousel you MUST inspect it right then and bring it to baggage immediately if its broken. Also ask to read their report if they seem to have an attitude. Cause that lady LIIIEEEDDDD on my name! And now im gonna truth on hers!
Alaska Airlines broke my checked bag beyond being able to use again and I didn't notice until I was packing it back up to come home from LA. Stopped and talked to a bag agent, said there wasn't much we could do right then so we taped it up
February 7, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Alaska Airlines broke my checked bag beyond being able to use again and I didn't notice until I was packing it back up to come home from LA. Stopped and talked to a bag agent, said there wasn't much we could do right then so we taped it up
February 7, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Hahahahhaa my situationship from years ago at this point posted a pic of his girlfriend with a lovey dovey caption like 2 weeks ago. It's gone off his profile and he's back to liking my things

I don't watch reality TV, I just let people I knew once entertain me
February 6, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Every time I post something on Instagram more people unfollow me 😅 I've gained 19 new followers in the last 7 days and lost 16. I must have reminded people that I exist and they hate me
February 6, 2026 at 4:50 AM
I just discovered that I DO actually get a $99 companion fare with my alaska card! I thought i had to spend WAY more money to qualify for that. Gonna take the boy to Cali this summer for cheaaaaaap 🥰
February 5, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Reposted by 🐌 Snaily Ham 🍖
On you knees it's time to pray 🦇
February 3, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Oh good, more people with a million questions and no resume or reel. I LOVE this for me. Portland is so unserious 🙄
Trying to hire a normal fucking person is impossible. I hate portland so gd much.

I ask for a resume and a reel

I get two messages from two different girls that hit me up last AUGUST without resumes or reels

"Do you need an official resume, or can I just tell you my experience?"
a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Trying to hire a normal fucking person is impossible. I hate portland so gd much.

I ask for a resume and a reel

I get two messages from two different girls that hit me up last AUGUST without resumes or reels

"Do you need an official resume, or can I just tell you my experience?"
a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his eyes closed
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2026 at 8:07 PM
If anyone wants to end up in some very odd and memorable situations, you should really travel with me. I don't do it often but I always end up in some sort of local shenanigans
February 3, 2026 at 6:51 PM
On you knees it's time to pray 🦇
February 3, 2026 at 6:10 PM
I have to hand it to myself, I'm Hella good at traveling. Some people are really not lol
February 3, 2026 at 12:40 AM
I ended up on a tiktok/instagram reel from last night 😂
www.instagram.com/reel/DUNNcOt...
February 2, 2026 at 1:41 AM
Started the day with an audition and ended it at a diy ska show in South central
February 1, 2026 at 8:04 AM
Reposted by 🐌 Snaily Ham 🍖
Blade rave was a success and now im sitting in the airport 😮‍💨
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Blade rave was a success and now im sitting in the airport 😮‍💨
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Oh good it dropped $30 as soon as it was delivered 🙄
I decided in this hellscape of misery that is life in the US and for my fortitude with sticking to my diet and getting through the month without a complete breakdown I made a mega splurge and got myself a new fitbit!

Ive been using my charge 2 but it won't sync anymore so I got the 6!
January 29, 2026 at 7:02 PM
I wish I were the type of person that gets tennis elbow from playing tennis but instead it's from vacuuming. I should be a lady of leisure, dammit. This is unacceptable!
January 29, 2026 at 6:33 PM
It's gig day if anyone wants to come out!!!
tinyurl.com/295hk8yy
January 29, 2026 at 6:30 PM
I decided in this hellscape of misery that is life in the US and for my fortitude with sticking to my diet and getting through the month without a complete breakdown I made a mega splurge and got myself a new fitbit!

Ive been using my charge 2 but it won't sync anymore so I got the 6!
January 28, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Had dinner with my bfs parents last night & his muscian father who is famously picky and judgemental when it comes to music asked me what EDM stood for. I explained. He said "oh! Like that song I heard & loved a long time ago?!" After a long search we found it. Hamster Dance. He loves Hamster Dance
January 27, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Finally listening to the new Poppy album and the riff on Time Will Tell sounds awfully familiar...meanwhile its just the riff from Falling Away from Me by Korn 😆

But what's the riff that sounds so familiar in Eat The Hate?!
January 26, 2026 at 6:21 AM