Sarah Mattocks
@smattocks.bsky.social
Here for The Archers mainly but also gardening, nature, dogs and VWs.
Pinned
Veronica working up to shoving the stick up David’s arse. #TheArchers
February 13, 2026 at 7:09 PM
February 13, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Back in the good old days on Twitter, Brian's aftershave would have had its own account by now.
#theArchers
#theArchers
February 13, 2026 at 10:44 AM
Back in the good old days on Twitter, Brian's aftershave would have had its own account by now.
#theArchers
#theArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Brian should have gone out in a hotel room with the New Zealand ladies rugby team it’s what he would have wanted #TheArchers
February 12, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Brian should have gone out in a hotel room with the New Zealand ladies rugby team it’s what he would have wanted #TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Especially with the cheap plonk that Lilian and Tracy won. If it had been a bottle of Chateau Pétrus he might have considered it.
February 12, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Especially with the cheap plonk that Lilian and Tracy won. If it had been a bottle of Chateau Pétrus he might have considered it.
February 12, 2026 at 7:48 PM
February 12, 2026 at 7:20 PM
I hope George is bright enough to be recording this #TheArchers
February 12, 2026 at 7:08 PM
I hope George is bright enough to be recording this #TheArchers
February 12, 2026 at 7:08 PM
I’ve had my ears dewaxed so I’m all ready #TheArchers
February 12, 2026 at 6:42 PM
I’ve had my ears dewaxed so I’m all ready #TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Listened again. Lilian is not at home: George (it definitely is George, just a slight accent slip on "I" from Angus Stobie, I think) is slightly surprised to see her when she opens the door. Which means she's either at Fallon & Harrison's, or Alice's. My money's on the former. Erk. #TheArchers
February 12, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Listened again. Lilian is not at home: George (it definitely is George, just a slight accent slip on "I" from Angus Stobie, I think) is slightly surprised to see her when she opens the door. Which means she's either at Fallon & Harrison's, or Alice's. My money's on the former. Erk. #TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Just listened again to the last 30 seconds and the person that says 'aint
no point hiding' (defo George) isnt the same person who says 'Lilian can i come in'. So yep different doors. (And i need to get out more) #Thearchers
no point hiding' (defo George) isnt the same person who says 'Lilian can i come in'. So yep different doors. (And i need to get out more) #Thearchers
February 11, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Just listened again to the last 30 seconds and the person that says 'aint
no point hiding' (defo George) isnt the same person who says 'Lilian can i come in'. So yep different doors. (And i need to get out more) #Thearchers
no point hiding' (defo George) isnt the same person who says 'Lilian can i come in'. So yep different doors. (And i need to get out more) #Thearchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Think it was like that bit in Silence of the Lambs - when the SWAT team are at the door & the serial killer opens another door to Jodie Foster
1 Jazzer’s delivery
2 George banging on stable door - looking for Fallon? (Coat theory)
3 Lillian opening her door to a man I can’t identify
#TheArchers
1 Jazzer’s delivery
2 George banging on stable door - looking for Fallon? (Coat theory)
3 Lillian opening her door to a man I can’t identify
#TheArchers
February 11, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Think it was like that bit in Silence of the Lambs - when the SWAT team are at the door & the serial killer opens another door to Jodie Foster
1 Jazzer’s delivery
2 George banging on stable door - looking for Fallon? (Coat theory)
3 Lillian opening her door to a man I can’t identify
#TheArchers
1 Jazzer’s delivery
2 George banging on stable door - looking for Fallon? (Coat theory)
3 Lillian opening her door to a man I can’t identify
#TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
#TheArchers
I have more faith in Jazzer & Chelsea's ability to convert a horsebox into a hairdressing glam van than in Eddie's ability to convert a washing machine into an automatic turkey plucker.
I have more faith in Jazzer & Chelsea's ability to convert a horsebox into a hairdressing glam van than in Eddie's ability to convert a washing machine into an automatic turkey plucker.
February 11, 2026 at 7:46 PM
#TheArchers
I have more faith in Jazzer & Chelsea's ability to convert a horsebox into a hairdressing glam van than in Eddie's ability to convert a washing machine into an automatic turkey plucker.
I have more faith in Jazzer & Chelsea's ability to convert a horsebox into a hairdressing glam van than in Eddie's ability to convert a washing machine into an automatic turkey plucker.
Maybe Amber’s Mum and Lilian both look the same from behind when they’re wielding bottles of Chardonnay #TheArchers
February 11, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Maybe Amber’s Mum and Lilian both look the same from behind when they’re wielding bottles of Chardonnay #TheArchers
If Lilian is somehow implicated why would Amber be trying to protect her? #TheArchers
February 11, 2026 at 7:25 PM
If Lilian is somehow implicated why would Amber be trying to protect her? #TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
February 11, 2026 at 7:08 PM
February 11, 2026 at 7:07 PM
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
noona.app/hq/blog/mobi...
If any one can do it Chelsea can.
All she needs is money to get going.
We don't have bank managers these days do we.
#TheArchers
If any one can do it Chelsea can.
All she needs is money to get going.
We don't have bank managers these days do we.
#TheArchers
Guide to Starting and Running a Successful Mobile Hair Salon | Noona Blog
Unlock the potential of mobile hair salons with this comprehensive guide, covering benefits, challenges, startup essentials, and tips for lasting success.
noona.app
February 10, 2026 at 7:39 PM
noona.app/hq/blog/mobi...
If any one can do it Chelsea can.
All she needs is money to get going.
We don't have bank managers these days do we.
#TheArchers
If any one can do it Chelsea can.
All she needs is money to get going.
We don't have bank managers these days do we.
#TheArchers
What do you do about water and drainage in a mobile hairdressing van? All those chemicals ending up in the Am.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
February 10, 2026 at 7:15 PM
What do you do about water and drainage in a mobile hairdressing van? All those chemicals ending up in the Am.
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
Chelsea could call it The Mane Attraction #TheArchers
February 10, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Chelsea could call it The Mane Attraction #TheArchers
Reposted by Sarah Mattocks
Didn't we all love the dramatic juxtaposition between the bacon sandwich and the green goddess pita?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
fry from futurama is eating a sandwich in a diner .
ALT: fry from futurama is eating a sandwich in a diner .
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Didn't we all love the dramatic juxtaposition between the bacon sandwich and the green goddess pita?
#TheArchers
#TheArchers
Adam and Josh licking their wounds together when neither inherits #TheArchers
February 9, 2026 at 7:14 PM
Adam and Josh licking their wounds together when neither inherits #TheArchers