smallest church
@smallestchurch.bsky.social
hey, it's me, amy. queer, insufferable, pie & raccoon influencer. she’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro. she/her
https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
Pinned
Please enjoy: It Exists to Be Found, a (hopefully) lynchian AU wherein Stede Bonnet reads a book about pirates and sees his name next to the name Ed Teach. That night, he starts having dreams...
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
archiveofourown.org/works/636465...
this thread reminded me that i once made a zine of NYT cooking comments as a patreon reward, pls enjoy 🔪🍎🍋🍸
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 PM
this thread reminded me that i once made a zine of NYT cooking comments as a patreon reward, pls enjoy 🔪🍎🍋🍸
tell me what you're cooking that you're excited about! i love kitchen drama. i am forgoing the turkey in favor of a low and very slow braise of some good brisket in guinness that will ultimately be a pie. and since dinner is pie, dessert will be be a cranberry cheesecake.
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 PM
tell me what you're cooking that you're excited about! i love kitchen drama. i am forgoing the turkey in favor of a low and very slow braise of some good brisket in guinness that will ultimately be a pie. and since dinner is pie, dessert will be be a cranberry cheesecake.
here, a lil it exists to be found wip : )
November 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
here, a lil it exists to be found wip : )
here it is, everyone, the horniest song you can put on your thanksgiving playlist www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAO_...
Gravy (For My Mashed Potatoes)
YouTube video by Dee Dee Sharp - Topic
www.youtube.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:21 PM
here it is, everyone, the horniest song you can put on your thanksgiving playlist www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAO_...
lots of fast car talk lately, so here is your reminder that if you need something to read this long weekend, fast car exists and is complete and rumors of its intolerable angst are greatly exaggerated : ) and i love you
profile looks naked without fast car pinned there, so here it is, the fast car post i will pin, plus now if you want to read fast car, here is the link: archiveofourown.org/works/543162...
November 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
lots of fast car talk lately, so here is your reminder that if you need something to read this long weekend, fast car exists and is complete and rumors of its intolerable angst are greatly exaggerated : ) and i love you
here once again to beat the libro dot fm rules drum
We're not like regular audiobook retailers. We're a cool audiobook retailer.
That's why we're running a Shop Small Sale now through Dec 1, and every purchase you make supports the indie bookshop of your choice 🎧
Shop the sale: libro.fm/sale/all
That's why we're running a Shop Small Sale now through Dec 1, and every purchase you make supports the indie bookshop of your choice 🎧
Shop the sale: libro.fm/sale/all
All sale audiobooks
Check out the selection of Libro.fm’s on-sale audiobooks!
libro.fm
November 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
here once again to beat the libro dot fm rules drum
[to the tune of bad company by the band bad company from the album bad company] chair company
November 25, 2025 at 1:46 AM
[to the tune of bad company by the band bad company from the album bad company] chair company
not doing the meme bc it wasn’t a character or villain that traumatized me, i have weirdly none of those? it was this scene, which was like someone crawled down inside my personal anxiety, animated it, and set it to a plodding scherzo
November 24, 2025 at 1:16 PM
not doing the meme bc it wasn’t a character or villain that traumatized me, i have weirdly none of those? it was this scene, which was like someone crawled down inside my personal anxiety, animated it, and set it to a plodding scherzo
have such a love/hate relationship with the way the universe always seems to give me the thing i need about whatever i'm currently most stressed about precisely two hours AFTER i have the total meltdown glamour fit about it
November 24, 2025 at 12:25 AM
have such a love/hate relationship with the way the universe always seems to give me the thing i need about whatever i'm currently most stressed about precisely two hours AFTER i have the total meltdown glamour fit about it
been fine sans booze but last night i had a dream about ordering and drinking a stout that can only be described as fully erotic. there was condensation on the bottle. i could smell it. i watched the bartender pour it into a glass (cw alcohol)
November 23, 2025 at 12:09 AM
been fine sans booze but last night i had a dream about ordering and drinking a stout that can only be described as fully erotic. there was condensation on the bottle. i could smell it. i watched the bartender pour it into a glass (cw alcohol)
eyy if i wanted to get a couple of sheets of round stickers printed for xmas gift canning label purposes, does anyone have a place they recommend?
November 22, 2025 at 4:07 PM
eyy if i wanted to get a couple of sheets of round stickers printed for xmas gift canning label purposes, does anyone have a place they recommend?
Reposted by smallest church
so this is love
November 21, 2025 at 2:24 AM
so this is love
u r all very sweet 2 me, thank u
November 20, 2025 at 9:32 PM
u r all very sweet 2 me, thank u
just found out i won a state arts grant i appplied for back in summer to finish this novel draft, which ironically means i will be too jittery to work on the novel draft for the rest of the day
November 20, 2025 at 7:12 PM
just found out i won a state arts grant i appplied for back in summer to finish this novel draft, which ironically means i will be too jittery to work on the novel draft for the rest of the day
just had to block someone for seriously replying “you have no idea about parmesan” on my dairy shitpost. why is that even on the discover page. can any of you be normal
November 19, 2025 at 12:15 PM
just had to block someone for seriously replying “you have no idea about parmesan” on my dairy shitpost. why is that even on the discover page. can any of you be normal
very hard month!! sick for lots of it, worn thin as onion skin, overwhelmed, brain dead, shot. miss u guyses 💛
November 19, 2025 at 2:22 AM
very hard month!! sick for lots of it, worn thin as onion skin, overwhelmed, brain dead, shot. miss u guyses 💛
take twosday!
Final spam for now:
@smallestchurch.bsky.social wonderful “love me different”, a love letter to cross country train travel, now available as an #OFMD podfic! Ed catches feelings, runs away, and comes home after visiting many friends who help him sort himself out. on.soundcloud.com/pxdhUYwseMCb...
@smallestchurch.bsky.social wonderful “love me different”, a love letter to cross country train travel, now available as an #OFMD podfic! Ed catches feelings, runs away, and comes home after visiting many friends who help him sort himself out. on.soundcloud.com/pxdhUYwseMCb...
love me different by smallestchurch
https://archiveofourown.org/works/72951256#main
soundcloud.com
November 18, 2025 at 4:21 PM
take twosday!
dairy is so witchy. beat up this cream and it becomes butter. leave this milk in a cave for a while and it becomes parmesan. put some buttermilk into this cream and leave it there overnight and now it's creme fraiche. what the hell
November 18, 2025 at 3:15 PM
dairy is so witchy. beat up this cream and it becomes butter. leave this milk in a cave for a while and it becomes parmesan. put some buttermilk into this cream and leave it there overnight and now it's creme fraiche. what the hell
this morning he yelled so loud we both woke up, but when i looked over he was sound asleep in his bed
November 17, 2025 at 3:02 PM
this morning he yelled so loud we both woke up, but when i looked over he was sound asleep in his bed
“and then they realized they were no longer little girls: they were little weapons” (i am watching weapons)
November 17, 2025 at 12:34 AM
“and then they realized they were no longer little girls: they were little weapons” (i am watching weapons)
Reposted by smallest church
Every time David starts screaming about cats this is what I imagine
#Cats #Comics #FUCKYOUGARYYOUKNOWWHATYOUDID
#Cats #Comics #FUCKYOUGARYYOUKNOWWHATYOUDID
November 16, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Every time David starts screaming about cats this is what I imagine
#Cats #Comics #FUCKYOUGARYYOUKNOWWHATYOUDID
#Cats #Comics #FUCKYOUGARYYOUKNOWWHATYOUDID
thanks to everyone for playing along with this and specially to @aimeekitty.bsky.social for the inspo: i have made the grand marnier cake and it is one billion stars delicious
November 15, 2025 at 11:07 PM
thanks to everyone for playing along with this and specially to @aimeekitty.bsky.social for the inspo: i have made the grand marnier cake and it is one billion stars delicious
who ordered the ham
November 14, 2025 at 10:02 PM
who ordered the ham