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smallestchurch.bsky.social
smallest church
@smallestchurch.bsky.social
1.7K followers 740 following 3.9K posts
hey, it's me, amy. queer, insufferable, pie & raccoon influencer. she’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro. she/her
https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestchurch/works
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smallestchurch.bsky.social
i just love black bean soup ok
black bean soup in a red bowl next to a small salad
December 9, 2025 at 12:59 AM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
try to fold it. go ahead. i fucking dare you
cat sitting atop a pile of fresh laundry and looking MURDEROUS about being discovered
December 4, 2025 at 3:18 AM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
when the lights r on but nobody’s home
black and white cat on his back who looks like he has never had a single thought in his life
November 29, 2025 at 3:49 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
stede showing ed the auxiliary wardrobe
November 29, 2025 at 3:45 AM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
OH YEAH LOL
my dining table
November 27, 2025 at 10:36 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
just bragging on my guinness pie
guinness pie, top down guinness pie, with a cut taken out whole table spread: coconut collard greens, biscuits, caramelized mystery garden squash with toasted pecans, random quick sautéed mushrooms bc i had extra, guinness pie at center
November 27, 2025 at 10:32 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
it is time
screenshot of tidal playing arlo guthrie’s thanksgiving day massacre masterpiece alice’s restaurant
November 27, 2025 at 7:40 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
hello from the prize turkey
black and cat with big yellow eyes sitting on my coffee table
November 27, 2025 at 3:44 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
domming u guys w my poasts
Content Creator Dominantly generates original content (25%), initiating discussions and sharing unique perspectives.
November 27, 2025 at 2:21 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
i yap way too much but it took me SO LONG to figure out why “car” was so big, i was like there is no way i post about my car more than my cat or my pies 😂
bskyinsights.com
word cloud for this dumb profile
November 27, 2025 at 2:18 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
omg i found it. pls enjoy
my hand holding a zine called this is THIS IS HELPFUL: A ZINE OF NEW YORK TIMES COOKING COMMENTS the full zine file (i am so sorry there is no way to alt text the entire thing)
November 26, 2025 at 7:44 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
here, a lil it exists to be found wip : )
He shifts, and his eternally spying phone on the coffee table before him lights up for no reason. No messages, no calls, just white numerals in front of an image of the sea. Or, the blasted phone knows he wants to call Ed. The idea tortures him. He’s taken to leaving the phone in his office at night, lest he reach for it in some in-between dreamstate and press the forbidden button. He’s so desperate for answers, he talks to himself in the shower, in the kitchen, playing out conversations and arguments (and reconciliations) like he’s rehearsing for a play. Like if he can just mock up the perfect interaction, he’ll know what to do. _Ed, I don’t understand. Why?_ _I’m only a man, Stede. Only a man in love._ Outrageous. Absurd. Two-bit fanfiction. But Lucius would tell him to call. Olu too, probably. He fishes a quarter out of the catchall vintage ashtray on the table, hiding beneath several mystery bits of plastic his kids have deposited there. He positions it on his thumb, flips it into the air. As the quarter ascends, time slows. Warps. As though to allow him ample space to understand that he already knows exactly how he wants it to land. The coin flips three, four, five times. He watches, head tilted, heart speeding as time slows. This is it, he understands. The coin will land on heads, and he will pick up his phone and have no choice but to call Ed because the universe willed it, it was beyond his control— The coin drops smoothly, silently to the table. Against all odds and laws of physics, the quarter sticks the landing like a gymnast coming off the uneven bars with her tiny feet touching: it stands tall on its edge, taunting him. He throws it across the room.
November 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
not doing the meme bc it wasn’t a character or villain that traumatized me, i have weirdly none of those? it was this scene, which was like someone crawled down inside my personal anxiety, animated it, and set it to a plodding scherzo
the fucking terrifying sorcerer’s apprentice brooms from fantasia
November 24, 2025 at 1:16 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
he is too but he would never admit it
cat
November 18, 2025 at 11:56 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
this morning he yelled so loud we both woke up, but when i looked over he was sound asleep in his bed
cat on the bathroom counter
November 17, 2025 at 3:02 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
gravy basket
Scientists have discovered "third state' between life and death by WKRC Sat, June 14th 2025 at 9:54 PM
November 17, 2025 at 1:07 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
it is! 💛
November 16, 2025 at 12:00 AM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
✨✨✨
November 15, 2025 at 11:29 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
thanks to everyone for playing along with this and specially to @aimeekitty.bsky.social for the inspo: i have made the grand marnier cake and it is one billion stars delicious
grand marnier cake on a plate
November 15, 2025 at 11:07 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
who ordered the ham
black and white cat on his back with his feets bent and his tail up and one big wide sauron ass eye staring
November 14, 2025 at 10:02 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
what do we think he wants
cat sitting and staring at me from across the room
November 13, 2025 at 2:04 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
i don’t have a solid wip for u bc i am still in drafting mode for the next chapters but here is a little morsel from my notes app that i have no memory of jotting down but which made me laugh very hard. will it make it into the chapter? 🤷🏼‍♀️
i want lucius to say something to stede like "ooh, look at me, i have a boyfriend too, and he's not addicted to sports betting"
November 12, 2025 at 4:13 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
a mood, perchance a vibe
passed out skeleton on a brick pillar next to some slowly decaying pumpkins
November 12, 2025 at 3:46 PM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
this week’s cope pie is tahini chess
slice of pie on a plate and a goober cat staring in the background
November 11, 2025 at 1:23 AM
smallestchurch.bsky.social
“potatoes for boiling, mashing, sticking in stews” in the zohran campaign ad fonts/colors
November 9, 2025 at 1:09 AM