Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
I grow flowers and pet cats and play DND and whine a little
People are dumb
February 19, 2026 at 4:08 PM
People are dumb
Bearepstein Bears
February 19, 2026 at 3:18 PM
Bearepstein Bears
Once your unc is washed and chopped, coat it in oil and breadcrumbs, then bake at 425 for 15 minutes for an easy healthy snack
February 19, 2026 at 4:03 AM
Once your unc is washed and chopped, coat it in oil and breadcrumbs, then bake at 425 for 15 minutes for an easy healthy snack
The best bluesky feature would be a drafts feed where every saved draft gets posted with an easy to defeat anonymization
February 18, 2026 at 10:22 PM
The best bluesky feature would be a drafts feed where every saved draft gets posted with an easy to defeat anonymization
When you need the whitest peoplest version of a food, thats when its time to reach for stouffers. Im pretty sure the cheese on these enchiladas is bechamel and cheddar
February 18, 2026 at 9:38 PM
When you need the whitest peoplest version of a food, thats when its time to reach for stouffers. Im pretty sure the cheese on these enchiladas is bechamel and cheddar
I too am not the least bit tamed, I too am untranslatable
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roof of the waffle house
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roof of the waffle house
February 18, 2026 at 5:07 PM
I too am not the least bit tamed, I too am untranslatable
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roof of the waffle house
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roof of the waffle house
I love CC and she's always welcome on my lap but all she wants to do is rub her cold, wet little nose on the backs of my hands and I can't fucking stand it
February 18, 2026 at 4:53 PM
I love CC and she's always welcome on my lap but all she wants to do is rub her cold, wet little nose on the backs of my hands and I can't fucking stand it
Final result: out of soft toys
February 18, 2026 at 2:52 PM
Final result: out of soft toys
How many toys can I toss on top of peritas?
February 18, 2026 at 2:49 PM
How many toys can I toss on top of peritas?
Peritas: guardian of the forest
February 18, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Peritas: guardian of the forest
I don't have any particular resentment towards Europeans laughing at our misfortune, but it does suggest that they haven't fully grasped that this isn't a national suicide so much as a national family annihilation.
February 18, 2026 at 1:14 PM
I don't have any particular resentment towards Europeans laughing at our misfortune, but it does suggest that they haven't fully grasped that this isn't a national suicide so much as a national family annihilation.
If you elect me in 2028, I will make operation of a motor vehicle a capital offense.
February 18, 2026 at 12:35 PM
If you elect me in 2028, I will make operation of a motor vehicle a capital offense.
McDonald's radio ads are uniquely annoying. The tone, the desperate attempts at relatability, the hateful little jingle. I hope their headquarters burns down
February 18, 2026 at 12:07 PM
McDonald's radio ads are uniquely annoying. The tone, the desperate attempts at relatability, the hateful little jingle. I hope their headquarters burns down
I put a touch of peanut butter at the bottom tonight and he kinda made a face about the first bite and then dug in and finished the bowl even after getting the peanut butter. He started this right after I got a new bag so he's gonna have to suck it up a while if he's decided he doesn't like it
February 18, 2026 at 12:55 AM
I put a touch of peanut butter at the bottom tonight and he kinda made a face about the first bite and then dug in and finished the bowl even after getting the peanut butter. He started this right after I got a new bag so he's gonna have to suck it up a while if he's decided he doesn't like it
Peritas hasn't been eating as much as usual. He's been energetic and using the bathroom well, so I think it's just the lack of exercise and general blahness of the season. It seems like he has trouble getting started, but once he gets past the first mouthful, he'll finish the bowl.
February 18, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Peritas hasn't been eating as much as usual. He's been energetic and using the bathroom well, so I think it's just the lack of exercise and general blahness of the season. It seems like he has trouble getting started, but once he gets past the first mouthful, he'll finish the bowl.
Majestic forest man
February 17, 2026 at 5:10 PM
Majestic forest man
Peritas reached new heights of good boy thanks to CC deciding she's tired of not being able to be on the floor and setting some boundaries. Now when he sees a kitty he knows, he walks up calmly and snuffles them, then backs off and playbows. If they don't engage, he shuffles off sadly
February 17, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Peritas reached new heights of good boy thanks to CC deciding she's tired of not being able to be on the floor and setting some boundaries. Now when he sees a kitty he knows, he walks up calmly and snuffles them, then backs off and playbows. If they don't engage, he shuffles off sadly
The nurse farted real bad while she was doing my infusion. She's really nice and does a good job and all so I didn't want to make her feel bad. But it's been 20 minutes and she's left and it's still here
February 16, 2026 at 9:26 PM
The nurse farted real bad while she was doing my infusion. She's really nice and does a good job and all so I didn't want to make her feel bad. But it's been 20 minutes and she's left and it's still here
How did i miss this shot in my camera roll?!
February 16, 2026 at 4:59 PM
How did i miss this shot in my camera roll?!
See, Joe, the numbers dont lie and they spell fucking for you at this bathroom stall
February 16, 2026 at 4:54 PM
See, Joe, the numbers dont lie and they spell fucking for you at this bathroom stall
Ran into Ms Stella at the park. Her person is usually out too early for me but the weather's got us all out of sorts. Happy outcome is that Peritas got to see his buddy
February 16, 2026 at 4:08 PM
Ran into Ms Stella at the park. Her person is usually out too early for me but the weather's got us all out of sorts. Happy outcome is that Peritas got to see his buddy
If you truly believed all that nonsense, tailgaters would be fair game for self defense
February 16, 2026 at 3:26 PM
If you truly believed all that nonsense, tailgaters would be fair game for self defense
You know how I know all this self defense bullshit is empty rhetoric? I can't shoot someone for tailgating me. They're an immediate threat to my life because of their behavior which is itself criminal, but I can't murder them.
February 16, 2026 at 3:26 PM
You know how I know all this self defense bullshit is empty rhetoric? I can't shoot someone for tailgating me. They're an immediate threat to my life because of their behavior which is itself criminal, but I can't murder them.
And, like, people should be outraged. This isn't a criticism of people so much. It's just that reflex to imagine it being worse breaks when things are this wild
February 16, 2026 at 1:56 PM
And, like, people should be outraged. This isn't a criticism of people so much. It's just that reflex to imagine it being worse breaks when things are this wild