Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
Pinned
Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris
archive.org
Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...
Listen to me, all you glorious people. I hope the new year is treating you kindly and will continue to do so. I think you’re awesome and deserve the best! ✌️❤️
January 3, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Listen to me, all you glorious people. I hope the new year is treating you kindly and will continue to do so. I think you’re awesome and deserve the best! ✌️❤️
Dirty math joke: What’s the square root of 69? Eight something. Impress your erudite friends with this joke. I need no thanks. My job is to spread nonsense.
January 1, 2026 at 10:20 PM
Dirty math joke: What’s the square root of 69? Eight something. Impress your erudite friends with this joke. I need no thanks. My job is to spread nonsense.
I can’t sleep. I went outside earlier and I choose to believe the the loud bangs were fireworks and not gunfire. Although, this is Texas, so 67. I know I’m old, but I’m paying attention to what the kids are saying. Anyway, let’s assume (illegal within city limits) fireworks. Guns are fine, however.
January 1, 2026 at 9:07 AM
I can’t sleep. I went outside earlier and I choose to believe the the loud bangs were fireworks and not gunfire. Although, this is Texas, so 67. I know I’m old, but I’m paying attention to what the kids are saying. Anyway, let’s assume (illegal within city limits) fireworks. Guns are fine, however.
Warm and happy wishes to all for a new year! Some are already into January and some of us will be soon. Happy New Year, everyone! Let’s hope that the baby doesn’t shit the diaper. 🥂
December 31, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Warm and happy wishes to all for a new year! Some are already into January and some of us will be soon. Happy New Year, everyone! Let’s hope that the baby doesn’t shit the diaper. 🥂
The high temperature yesterday was 71°F. The low today was 31°F. My balls can’t take that kind of temperature swing. Warm fronts, cold fronts… Make up your mind Mother Nature!
December 29, 2025 at 9:19 PM
The high temperature yesterday was 71°F. The low today was 31°F. My balls can’t take that kind of temperature swing. Warm fronts, cold fronts… Make up your mind Mother Nature!
“I can’t even…” Does that make me odd? 🤔
December 28, 2025 at 7:48 PM
“I can’t even…” Does that make me odd? 🤔
Hi, everyone! How are you doing? Good, bad, somewhere in between? The holidays can be tough and not everyone fares well. If you’re not doing well, know that I think you’re awesome. Since you’re awesome, go out for a little bit and get some fresh air and when you exhale, let go of negativity. ✌️❤️
December 27, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Hi, everyone! How are you doing? Good, bad, somewhere in between? The holidays can be tough and not everyone fares well. If you’re not doing well, know that I think you’re awesome. Since you’re awesome, go out for a little bit and get some fresh air and when you exhale, let go of negativity. ✌️❤️
Now that Christmas is nearly done, can we dispense with the long form commercials for charities begging for $19/month? I’m tired of seeing suffering animals, wounded warriors, terminally ill children, etc. “It’s only 63 cents per day.” Yeah, per charity. How many streaming services is that? Go on.
December 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Now that Christmas is nearly done, can we dispense with the long form commercials for charities begging for $19/month? I’m tired of seeing suffering animals, wounded warriors, terminally ill children, etc. “It’s only 63 cents per day.” Yeah, per charity. How many streaming services is that? Go on.
Well, I didn’t win the lottery. AGAIN! 😡 To be fair, though, I didn’t buy a ticket. 😛
December 25, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Well, I didn’t win the lottery. AGAIN! 😡 To be fair, though, I didn’t buy a ticket. 😛
Has anyone who sees this seen this show on Apple TV+ called “Pluribus?” It’s by Vince Gilligan who created “Breaking Bad” and “Better Call Saul.” I’m hooked. It’s deeply weird. Very different. I’d like to hear your thoughts if you watched it. No spoilers, please! Thank you and have a great day!
December 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Has anyone who sees this seen this show on Apple TV+ called “Pluribus?” It’s by Vince Gilligan who created “Breaking Bad” and “Better Call Saul.” I’m hooked. It’s deeply weird. Very different. I’d like to hear your thoughts if you watched it. No spoilers, please! Thank you and have a great day!
Man, I’ve got an ear worm. It’s “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” by Dusty Springfield. It’s a pretty song, but I’d like a different one stuck in my head for a bit. 🤪
December 22, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Man, I’ve got an ear worm. It’s “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” by Dusty Springfield. It’s a pretty song, but I’d like a different one stuck in my head for a bit. 🤪
‘Tis the season to check out my pinned post. It’s a funny story. I think you’ll like it. May your egg nog contain rum and your cookies contain MDMA or something. I don’t know how to jazz up holiday confections. Peace and love to all! ✌️❤️
December 22, 2025 at 5:49 AM
‘Tis the season to check out my pinned post. It’s a funny story. I think you’ll like it. May your egg nog contain rum and your cookies contain MDMA or something. I don’t know how to jazz up holiday confections. Peace and love to all! ✌️❤️
Ma! The meat loaf!
December 21, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Ma! The meat loaf!
Hear me out, please, Mr. Spielberg. Hire Shia LaBeouf for a new film titled “Mutt Jones and the Search for the Epstein Files.” I think it’ll be a big box office hit. Have I had some wine this evening? Why, yes, I have. Do I think this is a good pitch? Yes, I do. He might need his own hat.
December 21, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Hear me out, please, Mr. Spielberg. Hire Shia LaBeouf for a new film titled “Mutt Jones and the Search for the Epstein Files.” I think it’ll be a big box office hit. Have I had some wine this evening? Why, yes, I have. Do I think this is a good pitch? Yes, I do. He might need his own hat.
I’m not the author of this, I’m only repeating it. I think this was probably on “Mr. Show.” I’m paraphrasing, but the line line was something like this:
“Any time you write a joke, you’re bound to get some rat feces in there.”
I hope I got the attribution correct.
“Any time you write a joke, you’re bound to get some rat feces in there.”
I hope I got the attribution correct.
December 21, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I’m not the author of this, I’m only repeating it. I think this was probably on “Mr. Show.” I’m paraphrasing, but the line line was something like this:
“Any time you write a joke, you’re bound to get some rat feces in there.”
I hope I got the attribution correct.
“Any time you write a joke, you’re bound to get some rat feces in there.”
I hope I got the attribution correct.
Is Wikileaks still a thing? We never hear about them anymore.
December 20, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Is Wikileaks still a thing? We never hear about them anymore.
There’s a show called “Love on the Spectrum” about neurodivergent people dating. There’s an Australian and an American version, on Netflix, I believe. In the photo, she’s talking about soda, not powder. I just thought it was a funny screen grab. I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way. Good show!
December 19, 2025 at 2:16 AM
There’s a show called “Love on the Spectrum” about neurodivergent people dating. There’s an Australian and an American version, on Netflix, I believe. In the photo, she’s talking about soda, not powder. I just thought it was a funny screen grab. I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way. Good show!
I can hardly believe that economists are predicting a Labubu bubble. This fad was supposed to last forever.
December 18, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I can hardly believe that economists are predicting a Labubu bubble. This fad was supposed to last forever.
I think that the meteorologists on our local news channels have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t mind the rain. I welcome it. Don’t tell me I have a 10% chance of rain when it’s been raining pretty much all day. It’s a light rain. Quite pleasant, actually. Just manage my expectations! Fin
December 18, 2025 at 2:55 AM
I think that the meteorologists on our local news channels have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t mind the rain. I welcome it. Don’t tell me I have a 10% chance of rain when it’s been raining pretty much all day. It’s a light rain. Quite pleasant, actually. Just manage my expectations! Fin
I received this gift for Hanukkah or Christmas, pick one. Yes, I am a man who you could generously call middle aged, though I’m older than that. But I like me some Bluey. It’s funny and I don’t want any arguments! 🐶
December 18, 2025 at 2:13 AM
I received this gift for Hanukkah or Christmas, pick one. Yes, I am a man who you could generously call middle aged, though I’m older than that. But I like me some Bluey. It’s funny and I don’t want any arguments! 🐶
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in Divorce Court. The judge asks, “Mr. Mouse, are you seeking this divorce because of mental problems?” Mickey says, “No, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy. Ha ha!”
December 16, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in Divorce Court. The judge asks, “Mr. Mouse, are you seeking this divorce because of mental problems?” Mickey says, “No, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy. Ha ha!”
To whom it may concern: if you’re the one with my voodoo doll, please stop what you’re doing. It’s really not funny anymore. It was cute for a while, but now it’s a real pain in my ass, neck, head, stomach and feet. Please, give it a rest. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!!
December 16, 2025 at 4:18 AM
To whom it may concern: if you’re the one with my voodoo doll, please stop what you’re doing. It’s really not funny anymore. It was cute for a while, but now it’s a real pain in my ass, neck, head, stomach and feet. Please, give it a rest. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!!
My wife and I are a pair of kuncleheads. One of us might say a word like “snack” and the other will say a rhyming phrase like “snickety-snack!” things like that. It keeps our relationship silly and fresh. We’re adorable. Flipptiy-flop!
December 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
My wife and I are a pair of kuncleheads. One of us might say a word like “snack” and the other will say a rhyming phrase like “snickety-snack!” things like that. It keeps our relationship silly and fresh. We’re adorable. Flipptiy-flop!
Thinking about Rob Reiner made me think about “A Few Good Men” which then made me think of this parody that was on “The Ben Stiller Show” in the 90s. I can only imagine he would have thought this was funny. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
youtu.be/PKjr3S6NxPo?...
youtu.be/PKjr3S6NxPo?...
A Few Good Scouts
YouTube video by Erik Blomquist
youtu.be
December 15, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Thinking about Rob Reiner made me think about “A Few Good Men” which then made me think of this parody that was on “The Ben Stiller Show” in the 90s. I can only imagine he would have thought this was funny. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
youtu.be/PKjr3S6NxPo?...
youtu.be/PKjr3S6NxPo?...
To all who celebrate, may you have a Happy Hanukkah. 🕎
December 14, 2025 at 5:48 PM
To all who celebrate, may you have a Happy Hanukkah. 🕎