Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
Pinned
Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris
archive.org
Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...
What’s the worst side dish someone could bring to Thanksgiving dinner? I think green bean casserole has to be way up there.
November 14, 2025 at 5:08 AM
What’s the worst side dish someone could bring to Thanksgiving dinner? I think green bean casserole has to be way up there.
The philosophers from the band Chicago asked and answered an existential question. “Does anybody really know what time it is?” The answer is “25 or 6 to 4.”
November 13, 2025 at 4:49 AM
The philosophers from the band Chicago asked and answered an existential question. “Does anybody really know what time it is?” The answer is “25 or 6 to 4.”
@morna6.bsky.social You know you can just shut off DMs. That way, you don’t have to fuss around deleting them.
November 12, 2025 at 6:13 PM
@morna6.bsky.social You know you can just shut off DMs. That way, you don’t have to fuss around deleting them.
Let me see if I have this right. We need more immigrants because Americans don’t have talent. But, we keep rounding up immigrants and disappearing them. Who would want immigrate here? I would question their sanity. “Oh, you’re from India? Get in the back of the van. Back to Somalia!”
November 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Let me see if I have this right. We need more immigrants because Americans don’t have talent. But, we keep rounding up immigrants and disappearing them. Who would want immigrate here? I would question their sanity. “Oh, you’re from India? Get in the back of the van. Back to Somalia!”
I’m trying to understand this fifty year mortgage thing. The average first time home buyer is roughly forty years old. Cool. Add forty and fifty and you get ninety, so the idea is that consumers just pay interest at whatever the Fed decides for the rest of their lives, gaining minimal equity.
November 12, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I’m trying to understand this fifty year mortgage thing. The average first time home buyer is roughly forty years old. Cool. Add forty and fifty and you get ninety, so the idea is that consumers just pay interest at whatever the Fed decides for the rest of their lives, gaining minimal equity.
You know what’s funny about YoutubeTV? Sure, they don’t have Disney/ABC properties anymore, but they do have an entire channel devoted to PickleBall. I’m not talking about your grandparents’ league. I mean full on championship level PickleBall!
November 10, 2025 at 7:12 PM
You know what’s funny about YoutubeTV? Sure, they don’t have Disney/ABC properties anymore, but they do have an entire channel devoted to PickleBall. I’m not talking about your grandparents’ league. I mean full on championship level PickleBall!
Tell me some good news, please. It can be anything from a rescued animal to a foiled terror plot to something that happened to you recently. Anything happy or fun is good news. I want to keep positive thoughts in my mind. I’ll start. I found a penny heads up the other day. Beat that. Please, please.
November 10, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Tell me some good news, please. It can be anything from a rescued animal to a foiled terror plot to something that happened to you recently. Anything happy or fun is good news. I want to keep positive thoughts in my mind. I’ll start. I found a penny heads up the other day. Beat that. Please, please.
Fun fact: Koalas have fingerprints indistinguishable from human fingerprints. So, bring a koala when you’re planning a crime. Throw off those investigators. It will be an adorable crime scene. I can’t wait to see those tiny handcuffs. Also, beware. All koalas have chlamydia.
November 9, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Fun fact: Koalas have fingerprints indistinguishable from human fingerprints. So, bring a koala when you’re planning a crime. Throw off those investigators. It will be an adorable crime scene. I can’t wait to see those tiny handcuffs. Also, beware. All koalas have chlamydia.
In physics, there is a problem with perpetual motion. There’s friction, entropy, all of it, but if you think about it and have smoked enough weed, you’ll realize that a cat always lands on its feet and buttered toast always lands butter side down. Create a cat/toast array. Perpetual motion solved.💥
November 9, 2025 at 11:11 AM
In physics, there is a problem with perpetual motion. There’s friction, entropy, all of it, but if you think about it and have smoked enough weed, you’ll realize that a cat always lands on its feet and buttered toast always lands butter side down. Create a cat/toast array. Perpetual motion solved.💥
I saw recently that Mike Judge confirmed that Arlen, TX of “King of the Hill” is based on real life Richardson, TX. That happens to be where I grew up. I’m not at all surprised. I wonder if this show hits different for people outside of Texas. I can relate to all of it. He grew up in Garland.
November 8, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I saw recently that Mike Judge confirmed that Arlen, TX of “King of the Hill” is based on real life Richardson, TX. That happens to be where I grew up. I’m not at all surprised. I wonder if this show hits different for people outside of Texas. I can relate to all of it. He grew up in Garland.
Something is telling me that I shouldn’t try to get on an airplane anytime soon. Maybe it’s the overworked, unpaid ATC staff, or the grumpy, unpaid TSA workers wanting to shove a wand up my ass. I think I’d rather drive to a destination than to fly. Maybe I’m overly sensitive. That’s a possibility.
November 8, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Something is telling me that I shouldn’t try to get on an airplane anytime soon. Maybe it’s the overworked, unpaid ATC staff, or the grumpy, unpaid TSA workers wanting to shove a wand up my ass. I think I’d rather drive to a destination than to fly. Maybe I’m overly sensitive. That’s a possibility.
For no particular reason. I want you to dance. youtu.be/god7hAPv8f0?...
Earth, Wind & Fire - Boogie Wonderland (Official Video)
YouTube video by EarthWindandFireVEVO
youtu.be
November 8, 2025 at 5:39 AM
For no particular reason. I want you to dance. youtu.be/god7hAPv8f0?...
Dateline Chicago: ICE agent attacked with a hot dog. The agent revealed that “There was a scent of poppy seed bun and the pickle nearly speared my tactical armor. There was another offender with an Italian beef sandwich. I feared for my life when I sensed the unmistakable odor of giardiniera.”
November 7, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Dateline Chicago: ICE agent attacked with a hot dog. The agent revealed that “There was a scent of poppy seed bun and the pickle nearly speared my tactical armor. There was another offender with an Italian beef sandwich. I feared for my life when I sensed the unmistakable odor of giardiniera.”
Hi, everyone. It’s Friday and I hope you’ll have a splendidly peaceful weekend. Be well, people! ✌️❤️
November 7, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Hi, everyone. It’s Friday and I hope you’ll have a splendidly peaceful weekend. Be well, people! ✌️❤️
Question for our Millennial and Gen Z friends: Do you like vintage media like vinyl, CDs, movies on DVD or BluRay, classic video games, or anything else like that? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Thank you and be well!
November 6, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Question for our Millennial and Gen Z friends: Do you like vintage media like vinyl, CDs, movies on DVD or BluRay, classic video games, or anything else like that? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Thank you and be well!
I just had this random memory. When I was 18, I visited Montréal. I was at a hostel with a couple of guys from Algeria. We frequented a brassiere that boasted a pool table. They never saw one before. In my broken French, I was able to explain the rules of 8 ball. They spoke only French and Arabic.
November 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
I just had this random memory. When I was 18, I visited Montréal. I was at a hostel with a couple of guys from Algeria. We frequented a brassiere that boasted a pool table. They never saw one before. In my broken French, I was able to explain the rules of 8 ball. They spoke only French and Arabic.
What do you call the pocket on the front of your hooded sweatshirt? Is it a kangaroo pouch, a pouch pocket, hoodie pouch, or something else? I feel like the word “pouch” should be part of it.
November 5, 2025 at 10:19 PM
What do you call the pocket on the front of your hooded sweatshirt? Is it a kangaroo pouch, a pouch pocket, hoodie pouch, or something else? I feel like the word “pouch” should be part of it.
Last night was pretty wild with those elections.
November 5, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Last night was pretty wild with those elections.
The word “politics” comes from the Greek “poli,” meaning many and the English word “ticks,” which are blood sucking vermin.*
*this is not an actual lecture on etymology, it’s a poorly framed joke. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!
*this is not an actual lecture on etymology, it’s a poorly framed joke. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!
November 4, 2025 at 10:07 PM
The word “politics” comes from the Greek “poli,” meaning many and the English word “ticks,” which are blood sucking vermin.*
*this is not an actual lecture on etymology, it’s a poorly framed joke. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!
*this is not an actual lecture on etymology, it’s a poorly framed joke. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!
Reposted by Call me Tim
please consider giving pet food to food pantries too
November 4, 2025 at 2:58 AM
please consider giving pet food to food pantries too
I don’t understand all this hand wringing surrounding the penny shortage. Who needs pennies? If a cash transaction ends in one or two cents, round down. If it’s three or four, round up. It’ll even out over time. Don’t worry about it.
November 4, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I don’t understand all this hand wringing surrounding the penny shortage. Who needs pennies? If a cash transaction ends in one or two cents, round down. If it’s three or four, round up. It’ll even out over time. Don’t worry about it.
I think if I ever get a pet goat, I’ll name him Ram-Bo.
November 4, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I think if I ever get a pet goat, I’ll name him Ram-Bo.
I’d like to see a 24 hour network devoted to news. Factual news. Not opinion, not fluff, not celebrity nonsense, not trying to sell me products. Just news. Think Walter Cronkite all day, every day. Maybe it’s not a sexy enough idea anymore. I’d pay extra for that, though.
November 3, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I’d like to see a 24 hour network devoted to news. Factual news. Not opinion, not fluff, not celebrity nonsense, not trying to sell me products. Just news. Think Walter Cronkite all day, every day. Maybe it’s not a sexy enough idea anymore. I’d pay extra for that, though.
Let’s take a look at “Ocean’s 11” shall we? Every Federal Reserve note weighs 1g. Assuming their loot was all $100 bills, every million weighs 10kg, or about 22lb. They were supposed to make off with ~$163 million. That’s like 3564lb of cash. How could they carry it out? Physically? This is fiction.
November 2, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Let’s take a look at “Ocean’s 11” shall we? Every Federal Reserve note weighs 1g. Assuming their loot was all $100 bills, every million weighs 10kg, or about 22lb. They were supposed to make off with ~$163 million. That’s like 3564lb of cash. How could they carry it out? Physically? This is fiction.
Let’s imagine I have $100 billion. I would give away $99 billion to those who need it. I believe I could do pretty well for the rest of my life with $1 billion.
November 2, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Let’s imagine I have $100 billion. I would give away $99 billion to those who need it. I believe I could do pretty well for the rest of my life with $1 billion.