Shirley.
@shirleyukant.bsky.social
Yes, I AM serious; but that doesn't mean we can't have a laugh.
Pinned
Shirley.
@shirleyukant.bsky.social
· May 11
Much loved scouse deviant, Lee "Fish" Supper, was laid to rest in Liverpool yesterday, to the strains of Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze". Some members of the Congregation (Mostly other abusers of sheep) sniggered.
November 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Much loved scouse deviant, Lee "Fish" Supper, was laid to rest in Liverpool yesterday, to the strains of Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze". Some members of the Congregation (Mostly other abusers of sheep) sniggered.
I spent my early years in Bobby Kennedy Jnr's head, and it was no fun. No fun at all. For a start: I'm a vegetarian; so havin' to survive on a diet of Bob's brain was misery (not least because each cell was usually stuffed to the wall with narcotic toxins/booze)
The stories I could tell...
#Trump
The stories I could tell...
#Trump
November 18, 2025 at 7:47 AM
I spent my early years in Bobby Kennedy Jnr's head, and it was no fun. No fun at all. For a start: I'm a vegetarian; so havin' to survive on a diet of Bob's brain was misery (not least because each cell was usually stuffed to the wall with narcotic toxins/booze)
The stories I could tell...
#Trump
The stories I could tell...
#Trump
🎵 If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness, that everybody's heart isn't filled with the gladness of love for one another.🎵
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
September 14, 2025 at 4:34 AM
🎵 If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness, that everybody's heart isn't filled with the gladness of love for one another.🎵
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
#BumsLivesMatter
THUNDERBIRDS are... JOE!
Makers of wobbly-appendaged, expression-free, Astro-Puppets* in GLASGOW, don't want you to know about this GREAT new Joe Biden to Astro-Puppet conversion kit.
Order NOW, while stocks last.
*Strings attached.
What The Stars are saying:
I LOVE this - William Shatner
Makers of wobbly-appendaged, expression-free, Astro-Puppets* in GLASGOW, don't want you to know about this GREAT new Joe Biden to Astro-Puppet conversion kit.
Order NOW, while stocks last.
*Strings attached.
What The Stars are saying:
I LOVE this - William Shatner
September 13, 2025 at 8:20 AM
THUNDERBIRDS are... JOE!
Makers of wobbly-appendaged, expression-free, Astro-Puppets* in GLASGOW, don't want you to know about this GREAT new Joe Biden to Astro-Puppet conversion kit.
Order NOW, while stocks last.
*Strings attached.
What The Stars are saying:
I LOVE this - William Shatner
Makers of wobbly-appendaged, expression-free, Astro-Puppets* in GLASGOW, don't want you to know about this GREAT new Joe Biden to Astro-Puppet conversion kit.
Order NOW, while stocks last.
*Strings attached.
What The Stars are saying:
I LOVE this - William Shatner
Wearing his trademark sickly smirk, Bezos uses his hand to try to cover the excrement being forced out of his new wife's guts by her midriff-crushing corset
"I told her to wear brown", he jests with his guests (none of whom he knows)
There are no reports of #Bezos shitting himself
#Trump
#JeffBezos
"I told her to wear brown", he jests with his guests (none of whom he knows)
There are no reports of #Bezos shitting himself
#Trump
#JeffBezos
July 3, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Wearing his trademark sickly smirk, Bezos uses his hand to try to cover the excrement being forced out of his new wife's guts by her midriff-crushing corset
"I told her to wear brown", he jests with his guests (none of whom he knows)
There are no reports of #Bezos shitting himself
#Trump
#JeffBezos
"I told her to wear brown", he jests with his guests (none of whom he knows)
There are no reports of #Bezos shitting himself
#Trump
#JeffBezos
"I'd like to offer my Nobel Peace-Prize to President #Trump; seeing as it means so much to him. Then, with the Prize secured, he'll be able to make world-changing decisions based, not on what he thinks will impress The Swedish Nobel Committee, but on what's best for America." - #Obama
June 24, 2025 at 2:14 PM
🎵 A green plastic watering can,
For a fake Chinese cabbage scam...
Follow for full details (You'll be amazed!)
Devastating if true - Stephen Fry
Summon the Slovenian Ambassador to the WH TODAY and give him an ultimatum... TODAY
#TRUMP MUST DIVORCE AND DISOWN HER NOW!!
For a fake Chinese cabbage scam...
Follow for full details (You'll be amazed!)
Devastating if true - Stephen Fry
Summon the Slovenian Ambassador to the WH TODAY and give him an ultimatum... TODAY
#TRUMP MUST DIVORCE AND DISOWN HER NOW!!
June 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
🎵 A green plastic watering can,
For a fake Chinese cabbage scam...
Follow for full details (You'll be amazed!)
Devastating if true - Stephen Fry
Summon the Slovenian Ambassador to the WH TODAY and give him an ultimatum... TODAY
#TRUMP MUST DIVORCE AND DISOWN HER NOW!!
For a fake Chinese cabbage scam...
Follow for full details (You'll be amazed!)
Devastating if true - Stephen Fry
Summon the Slovenian Ambassador to the WH TODAY and give him an ultimatum... TODAY
#TRUMP MUST DIVORCE AND DISOWN HER NOW!!
June 15, 2025 at 6:44 AM
And you may find yourself living on a Shogun snack...
June 15, 2025 at 6:39 AM
And you may find yourself living on a Shogun snack...
I've waited patiently 8 years to be awarded the Nobel Peace prize, I so richly deserve; you believe that? 8 years.
It's a total disgrace... I'll be honest with you: Melania (and others) are urging me to teach the snotty Swedes a lesson... So we'll see what happens.
#Trump
It's a total disgrace... I'll be honest with you: Melania (and others) are urging me to teach the snotty Swedes a lesson... So we'll see what happens.
#Trump
June 12, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I've waited patiently 8 years to be awarded the Nobel Peace prize, I so richly deserve; you believe that? 8 years.
It's a total disgrace... I'll be honest with you: Melania (and others) are urging me to teach the snotty Swedes a lesson... So we'll see what happens.
#Trump
It's a total disgrace... I'll be honest with you: Melania (and others) are urging me to teach the snotty Swedes a lesson... So we'll see what happens.
#Trump
Reposted by Shirley.
Koo Haiku.
Hey Koo, how are you?
Have you beans you'd like to spill?
We pay top dollar?
Readers are invited to compose a Koo haiku of their own, and send it to the usual address, to arrive no later than the closing date.
Your Koo haiku should mention royal sweat.
Hey Koo, how are you?
Have you beans you'd like to spill?
We pay top dollar?
Readers are invited to compose a Koo haiku of their own, and send it to the usual address, to arrive no later than the closing date.
Your Koo haiku should mention royal sweat.
June 9, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Koo Haiku.
Hey Koo, how are you?
Have you beans you'd like to spill?
We pay top dollar?
Readers are invited to compose a Koo haiku of their own, and send it to the usual address, to arrive no later than the closing date.
Your Koo haiku should mention royal sweat.
Hey Koo, how are you?
Have you beans you'd like to spill?
We pay top dollar?
Readers are invited to compose a Koo haiku of their own, and send it to the usual address, to arrive no later than the closing date.
Your Koo haiku should mention royal sweat.
"Sir, Secretary #Hegseth has removed the name of decorated Navy Veteran and activist Harvey Milk from a US Navy ship; saying he wants Navy ship-names to personify the quote, "Warrior ethos".
Sir, as an undecorated, 6x Draft-Dodger do you feel *you* personify that Warrior Ethos?"
#Trump #USNavy
Sir, as an undecorated, 6x Draft-Dodger do you feel *you* personify that Warrior Ethos?"
#Trump #USNavy
June 4, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Tomorrow at mid-day, outside the Italian Embassy in London, I will be setting fire to a copy of The Pasta Bible; and calling for the total banning of the Pastafarian Movement in the UK.
I invite any and all Pastafarians to try and stop me.
FUCK YOUR PASTA-GOD.
Allah Akhbar!
#Islam #Italy
I invite any and all Pastafarians to try and stop me.
FUCK YOUR PASTA-GOD.
Allah Akhbar!
#Islam #Italy
June 4, 2025 at 12:22 PM
... Old Nature swears the lovely cats,
Her noblest work she classes O;
Her 'prentice hand she tried on dugs,
And then she made the moggies-o.
(Green Grow The Rashes-O)
#Cats
Her noblest work she classes O;
Her 'prentice hand she tried on dugs,
And then she made the moggies-o.
(Green Grow The Rashes-O)
#Cats
June 2, 2025 at 10:03 AM
... Old Nature swears the lovely cats,
Her noblest work she classes O;
Her 'prentice hand she tried on dugs,
And then she made the moggies-o.
(Green Grow The Rashes-O)
#Cats
Her noblest work she classes O;
Her 'prentice hand she tried on dugs,
And then she made the moggies-o.
(Green Grow The Rashes-O)
#Cats
REPORTER: Thank you for agreeing to talk to us Mr Secretary, and congratulations on 90 Days Sober
#HEGSETH: Thanks Martin...
REP: Can I...
HEG: But you know, I couldn't have done it without the help of our great P #Trump; he taught me to value myself; and that the only thing I lacked was "character"
#HEGSETH: Thanks Martin...
REP: Can I...
HEG: But you know, I couldn't have done it without the help of our great P #Trump; he taught me to value myself; and that the only thing I lacked was "character"
May 27, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Here's me at last week's Fife Olympics, about to go head to head with some of the county's best under-8's in the 25m crawl with float assistance... Let me just say(Before the haters start): in no way was the float an aid to me; if anything it was a *hindrance* (Though I still won 😑) - #DuncanScott
May 27, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Here's me at last week's Fife Olympics, about to go head to head with some of the county's best under-8's in the 25m crawl with float assistance... Let me just say(Before the haters start): in no way was the float an aid to me; if anything it was a *hindrance* (Though I still won 😑) - #DuncanScott
The lesser-spotted, Scottish newt; found only at one coastal spot, near St Andrews - Surely one of the happiest creatures on the planet?... And now extinct. Thanks to #Trump, and his golf-course shit.
May 11, 2025 at 5:45 AM
The lesser-spotted, Scottish newt; found only at one coastal spot, near St Andrews - Surely one of the happiest creatures on the planet?... And now extinct. Thanks to #Trump, and his golf-course shit.
Barely identifiable under her burqa, Goldie Hawn, makes her way through a market-place in Sinjar, Nth Iraq. She says emigrating to Iraq and converting to Islam, is "the best thing" she's ever done.
#Trump
#Trump
May 6, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Barely identifiable under her burqa, Goldie Hawn, makes her way through a market-place in Sinjar, Nth Iraq. She says emigrating to Iraq and converting to Islam, is "the best thing" she's ever done.
#Trump
#Trump
If #Trump and his cabinet were a Human Centipede, who would be his 1st Receiver, directly behind him? Who would be 2nd? And so on. And who would be last? What if there's "Incompatability" issues between the segments? Special nutritional needs? What about the women? Won't someone think of the women?
May 2, 2025 at 7:58 AM
If #Trump and his cabinet were a Human Centipede, who would be his 1st Receiver, directly behind him? Who would be 2nd? And so on. And who would be last? What if there's "Incompatability" issues between the segments? Special nutritional needs? What about the women? Won't someone think of the women?
If you look closely at last Sunday's Praiseathon, you'll see one man sitting down looking sad; while the rest of us are on our feet praisin' #Jesus and having a blast. It makes you wonder why he's even there. Quiet honestly I'd like to see the men round him all pull out their...things and pee on him
May 2, 2025 at 6:59 AM
If you look closely at last Sunday's Praiseathon, you'll see one man sitting down looking sad; while the rest of us are on our feet praisin' #Jesus and having a blast. It makes you wonder why he's even there. Quiet honestly I'd like to see the men round him all pull out their...things and pee on him
Archaeologists in York, examining the skeletons of gladiators, have discovered that they did actually fight wild animals (Including feral cats).
#Cats
#Cats
April 24, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Archaeologists in York, examining the skeletons of gladiators, have discovered that they did actually fight wild animals (Including feral cats).
#Cats
#Cats