Sam
@saturnsgold.com
✨ Your favorite MILF’s favorite MILF & resident 4th house astrologer, writing about the subterranean place over at The House of Origin: saturnsgold.com
👩🏻💻 Srs bizness: @thefinancialwitch.com
👩🏻💻 Srs bizness: @thefinancialwitch.com
Pinned
Sam
@saturnsgold.com
· Jun 25
The circle of mutual aid goes on. My family is safe & housed thanks to collective effort, now we must do the same for Alex.
I haven’t opened my books for 4th house readings in almost a year so this is a rare opportunity ✨
I haven’t opened my books for 4th house readings in almost a year so this is a rare opportunity ✨
Today is a Tuesday and the only day I’m working this week, so naturally my job decided to pack every single irritating possibility into one day
September 2, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Today is a Tuesday and the only day I’m working this week, so naturally my job decided to pack every single irritating possibility into one day
New achievement unlocked: family inside jokes 🥹 not hard to do when there’s Gemini placements around
I love laughing at things only the three of us know about 🤭 toddlers are so funny
I love laughing at things only the three of us know about 🤭 toddlers are so funny
August 15, 2025 at 4:10 AM
New achievement unlocked: family inside jokes 🥹 not hard to do when there’s Gemini placements around
I love laughing at things only the three of us know about 🤭 toddlers are so funny
I love laughing at things only the three of us know about 🤭 toddlers are so funny
Turns out the Mars-Saturn opposition is just my child doing everything in his power to injure himself and others. Having a lot of fun
August 8, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Turns out the Mars-Saturn opposition is just my child doing everything in his power to injure himself and others. Having a lot of fun
Grateful my job allows me to eat well and enjoy the psychological benefits of being surrounded by trees and water all day, also wish this was accessible to everyone and not just employees of Giant Evil Sports Corporation
August 7, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Grateful my job allows me to eat well and enjoy the psychological benefits of being surrounded by trees and water all day, also wish this was accessible to everyone and not just employees of Giant Evil Sports Corporation
Reposted by Sam
I SAID NO PICTURES YOU MOTHERF—
August 6, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I SAID NO PICTURES YOU MOTHERF—
Happy mercury retrograde to me trying to buy groceries just now and being told my debit card PIN is wrong despite me using the same one for 5 years and never ever changing it
August 5, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Happy mercury retrograde to me trying to buy groceries just now and being told my debit card PIN is wrong despite me using the same one for 5 years and never ever changing it
My husband: *always watching wrestling with our child*
Also my husband: why is our child always trying to body slam me?
Also my husband: why is our child always trying to body slam me?
August 5, 2025 at 1:30 AM
My husband: *always watching wrestling with our child*
Also my husband: why is our child always trying to body slam me?
Also my husband: why is our child always trying to body slam me?
Saturn’s influence on my chart is such that no matter what planetary activation I’m experiencing, the results are almost always literal. No nuance or poetry to it. Yes Mercury cazimi in my 11th house in the sign of the self was like “I will rebrand my online platforms with my Very Own Name”
August 2, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Saturn’s influence on my chart is such that no matter what planetary activation I’m experiencing, the results are almost always literal. No nuance or poetry to it. Yes Mercury cazimi in my 11th house in the sign of the self was like “I will rebrand my online platforms with my Very Own Name”
Reposted by Sam
Moving in silence is hard when you’re an annoying bitch
August 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Moving in silence is hard when you’re an annoying bitch
Just had to save him from a rock that was stuck in his throat. 🫠 there are downsides
I should have figured when my son was born with a 3H Capricorn stellium (which includes a Mercury-Pluto conjunction) that he would be a dirt witch who loves Kiki’s Delivery Service
August 2, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Just had to save him from a rock that was stuck in his throat. 🫠 there are downsides
You gotta marry someone who just nods knowingly when you break into a reference from a 2005 SNL celebrity Jeopardy skit
August 2, 2025 at 5:38 AM
You gotta marry someone who just nods knowingly when you break into a reference from a 2005 SNL celebrity Jeopardy skit
Having a somewhat common name is devastating when it comes to purchasing URLs. What do you mean it’s $3400 to buy my name dot com
August 1, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Having a somewhat common name is devastating when it comes to purchasing URLs. What do you mean it’s $3400 to buy my name dot com
I should have figured when my son was born with a 3H Capricorn stellium (which includes a Mercury-Pluto conjunction) that he would be a dirt witch who loves Kiki’s Delivery Service
July 30, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I should have figured when my son was born with a 3H Capricorn stellium (which includes a Mercury-Pluto conjunction) that he would be a dirt witch who loves Kiki’s Delivery Service
What perfect album came out when you were 16?
July 28, 2025 at 8:11 PM
What perfect album came out when you were 16?
One of my coworkers whose first language is not English was trying to say “playing for the other team” with regard to someone being gay, but what they said was “coming from the other side” and that is such a delightfully ominous way to describe a homosexual
July 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
One of my coworkers whose first language is not English was trying to say “playing for the other team” with regard to someone being gay, but what they said was “coming from the other side” and that is such a delightfully ominous way to describe a homosexual
Reposted by Sam
coyolxauhqui the moon as dis-membered witch mother. is that anything
July 28, 2025 at 1:43 AM
coyolxauhqui the moon as dis-membered witch mother. is that anything
Reposted by Sam
Do you want to learn more about the fixed stars? I have dozens of resources on my newsletter <3
Here are some of my faves:
Here are some of my faves:
July 25, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Do you want to learn more about the fixed stars? I have dozens of resources on my newsletter <3
Here are some of my faves:
Here are some of my faves:
Very pleased to report the new assassin’s creed game lets you pet the cats AND the dogs AND keeps a log of each type of breed you pet
July 26, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Very pleased to report the new assassin’s creed game lets you pet the cats AND the dogs AND keeps a log of each type of breed you pet
Reposted by Sam
I don't know which part of this is funnier -- the fact that these folks created a legend, the pictures of the cats, the fact that they have a cat named Hubris, or the fact that Hubris' face makes you go, "Oh that's why..."
July 24, 2025 at 5:54 AM
I don't know which part of this is funnier -- the fact that these folks created a legend, the pictures of the cats, the fact that they have a cat named Hubris, or the fact that Hubris' face makes you go, "Oh that's why..."
Reposted by Sam
Perfume is mass produced in an ol factory
...and send
...and send
July 24, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Perfume is mass produced in an ol factory
...and send
...and send
Me: wow I am having a Good Day what’s going on
Jupiter: it’s literally my day and I’m exalted and relatively unaffected by Mercury rx
Jupiter: it’s literally my day and I’m exalted and relatively unaffected by Mercury rx
July 24, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Me: wow I am having a Good Day what’s going on
Jupiter: it’s literally my day and I’m exalted and relatively unaffected by Mercury rx
Jupiter: it’s literally my day and I’m exalted and relatively unaffected by Mercury rx
Reposted by Sam
At some point in the past, I noticed a nervous tic of mine and it’s such an uncomfortable kind of self awareness when I notice myself doing said tic. Like I’m exposing myself to myself
July 24, 2025 at 5:18 AM
At some point in the past, I noticed a nervous tic of mine and it’s such an uncomfortable kind of self awareness when I notice myself doing said tic. Like I’m exposing myself to myself