Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
@samu3lk.bsky.social
I'm A Chaotic Elf With Mysterious Powers...! Art drawer. VTuber Streamer. See Podcast Talker. Nasty Little Critter. He/Him. Hail Satan. 🏳️🌈 http://www.twitch.tv/samu3lk/
If Kevin Smith was a rapper, all his verses would start "My name is Kevin Smith and I'm here to say..."
are you prepared to experience the most cursed comic book page ever printed?
November 11, 2025 at 6:57 AM
If Kevin Smith was a rapper, all his verses would start "My name is Kevin Smith and I'm here to say..."
In this week's See Podcast Jack and I discuss what we think each other would be like with The Mask. I say I'd 100% be a terrorist supervillain and used The Joker as an example. Upon further reflection, I think I'd be closer to a funny version of Dr. Doom. Listen here: shows.acast.com/bee-podcast/...
November 10, 2025 at 9:27 PM
In this week's See Podcast Jack and I discuss what we think each other would be like with The Mask. I say I'd 100% be a terrorist supervillain and used The Joker as an example. Upon further reflection, I think I'd be closer to a funny version of Dr. Doom. Listen here: shows.acast.com/bee-podcast/...
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
this fake PSA originally used stills from the movie "Blood Rage" but it also works with the movie "FUBAR"
November 10, 2025 at 5:57 PM
this fake PSA originally used stills from the movie "Blood Rage" but it also works with the movie "FUBAR"
I bet I could easily kick a Labubu's ass.
November 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I bet I could easily kick a Labubu's ass.
Just learned Trump recently vowed to cure cancer, but just for Dilbert.
November 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Just learned Trump recently vowed to cure cancer, but just for Dilbert.
There should be a scene in Pluribus where Rhea Seehorn's like "Well since I'm in Albuquerque and I can have whatever I want, I might as well move into the Breaking Bad house."
November 9, 2025 at 4:51 AM
There should be a scene in Pluribus where Rhea Seehorn's like "Well since I'm in Albuquerque and I can have whatever I want, I might as well move into the Breaking Bad house."
ATTN Target: There is absolutely nothing more important to me in this world than Being Left the Fuck Alone. I do not need or want your employees doing little songs and dances for me any more than they do. Let's all try to preserve our dignity a little.
"Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
Target is now requiring its employees to smile more
As the holiday season fast approaches, Target is urging its employees to add a little more “jolly” to their work routine.
www.wilx.com
November 8, 2025 at 6:55 PM
ATTN Target: There is absolutely nothing more important to me in this world than Being Left the Fuck Alone. I do not need or want your employees doing little songs and dances for me any more than they do. Let's all try to preserve our dignity a little.
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
www.samu3lk.com I want to stream Silent HIll f and that's exactly what I'm goddamn gonna do.
SAMU3LK - Twitch
Frankenstein? Is it Frankenstein? - Let's Play Silent HIll: f!
www.samu3lk.com
November 7, 2025 at 2:21 AM
www.samu3lk.com I want to stream Silent HIll f and that's exactly what I'm goddamn gonna do.
*Making furtive movements* lmao
November 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
*Making furtive movements* lmao
Mamdani was like 10 years old on 9/11 and therefore probably didn't have anything to do with it, if I had to guess. If all Muslims are Al Qaeda by association, then all Christians are in the KKK. Hell, Rudy's Catholic, and you know what those guys get up to.
November 6, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Mamdani was like 10 years old on 9/11 and therefore probably didn't have anything to do with it, if I had to guess. If all Muslims are Al Qaeda by association, then all Christians are in the KKK. Hell, Rudy's Catholic, and you know what those guys get up to.
*Shaking a cup full of dice in a casino* C'mon baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes, for sale - never worn.
November 5, 2025 at 2:29 PM
*Shaking a cup full of dice in a casino* C'mon baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes, for sale - never worn.
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
nancy reagan welcoming dick cheney to hell
November 4, 2025 at 2:22 PM
nancy reagan welcoming dick cheney to hell
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
the dick chains he forged in life...
November 4, 2025 at 4:42 PM
the dick chains he forged in life...
Hell just got another bat. Rest in piss, Dick Cheney.
November 4, 2025 at 11:53 AM
Hell just got another bat. Rest in piss, Dick Cheney.
I also find Morrissey to be exhausting.
November 2, 2025 at 5:20 PM
I also find Morrissey to be exhausting.
Once I got invited on a bigger streamer's show and halfway through they pretended they were ending the stream so they could kick me off because I wouldn't stop talking about cannibalism and trolling the chat by saying I do stolen valor "but only for food and free movie tickets, so it's not illegal."
November 2, 2025 at 7:27 AM
Once I got invited on a bigger streamer's show and halfway through they pretended they were ending the stream so they could kick me off because I wouldn't stop talking about cannibalism and trolling the chat by saying I do stolen valor "but only for food and free movie tickets, so it's not illegal."
I'm sick of seeing people saying "unalive" and "grape" and "sewer slide". It's fucking humiliating behavior. I'm not sure how you'd get rid of censorship without it turning the whole platform into a racist right wing shithole.
November 2, 2025 at 12:46 AM
I'm sick of seeing people saying "unalive" and "grape" and "sewer slide". It's fucking humiliating behavior. I'm not sure how you'd get rid of censorship without it turning the whole platform into a racist right wing shithole.
I forgot to add to this: His sons were both conceived with fart particles instead of sperm. They are living fart men with poopoo instead of DNA. Shit golems. Ivana was born when Trump spit out an egg like Piccolo in Dragon Ball. Tiffany is just a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster.
Donald J Trump has a rare medical disorder where his farts come out the front so every time he farts his bozack swells up like a bullfrog throat and the fart comes out his wiener hole and it sounds like when you let air out of a balloon slowly all "Fweeeeeeeeee" and also his tears are diarrhea.
November 2, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I forgot to add to this: His sons were both conceived with fart particles instead of sperm. They are living fart men with poopoo instead of DNA. Shit golems. Ivana was born when Trump spit out an egg like Piccolo in Dragon Ball. Tiffany is just a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster.
Donald J Trump has a rare medical disorder where his farts come out the front so every time he farts his bozack swells up like a bullfrog throat and the fart comes out his wiener hole and it sounds like when you let air out of a balloon slowly all "Fweeeeeeeeee" and also his tears are diarrhea.
November 1, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Donald J Trump has a rare medical disorder where his farts come out the front so every time he farts his bozack swells up like a bullfrog throat and the fart comes out his wiener hole and it sounds like when you let air out of a balloon slowly all "Fweeeeeeeeee" and also his tears are diarrhea.
King Charles lifting an amulet, white hot and glowing with power, "Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, I strip thee of thy titles and I cast thee out!!" and a bunch of howling spirits start flying out of Andrew's mouth into the amulet as he rapidly ages, fucking wind machine and rotoscoped lightning and all
October 30, 2025 at 11:09 PM
King Charles lifting an amulet, white hot and glowing with power, "Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, I strip thee of thy titles and I cast thee out!!" and a bunch of howling spirits start flying out of Andrew's mouth into the amulet as he rapidly ages, fucking wind machine and rotoscoped lightning and all
Reposted by Samuel K: Dastardly Elf
I kept putting this off because I have some freelance coming up that I had hoped would've started soon enough to cover rent. But I don't want to keep asking for money with nothing in return, so I'm offering custom ghost stories like the ones I've been posting on my blog. ko-fi.com/tylerhendrix
October 27, 2025 at 10:07 PM
I kept putting this off because I have some freelance coming up that I had hoped would've started soon enough to cover rent. But I don't want to keep asking for money with nothing in return, so I'm offering custom ghost stories like the ones I've been posting on my blog. ko-fi.com/tylerhendrix
Guaranteeing the kids in my neighborhood have a legendary Halloween this year.
October 26, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Guaranteeing the kids in my neighborhood have a legendary Halloween this year.
Didn't they already remake the first Halo? *Is playing Baby Steps again*
October 24, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Didn't they already remake the first Halo? *Is playing Baby Steps again*