Ryan Doherty
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ryandoherty.bsky.social
Ryan Doherty
@ryandoherty.bsky.social
I had a ton of fun on this app’s predecessor, so hoping for more of the same. I will never ask you for money or send you scammy links.
“If you don’t open the door Mr.Simpson, I cannot give you your… special delivery.”
May 7, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I’ve decided to rewatched The Simpsons from the golden era (seasons 4-10) and I just couldn’t be happier hearing some of these lines again.

“It ain’t getting any safer.”
April 27, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Happy Easter, everybody. (Courtesy of @SimpsonsQuotes on the other app)
April 20, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Reposted by Ryan Doherty
It’s 9am TFT time here, and citizens are already gathering to protest Tariffs by the United States. Our plain clothes Officer Penguins are attempting to maintain calm, but unfortunately we keep losing them in the crowd.
April 3, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Reposted by Ryan Doherty
April 2, 2025 at 11:43 PM
My wife and I went “shrimping” last night, where you wade around at night in shallow water in the gulf and look for their little glowing eyeballs.

Fun, and you can bet I made about a thousand Forrest Gump jokes.
two men are standing next to each other on a boat and one of them is saying " i only caught five "
ALT: two men are standing next to each other on a boat and one of them is saying " i only caught five "
media.tenor.com
March 29, 2025 at 8:29 PM
The “no taxes on tips” thing is funny to me because it makes it clear these policymakers have never had service jobs.

Hint: most tips aren’t getting taxed already. #CashIsKing
February 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Reposted by Ryan Doherty
Cardinal With 3-Foot Vertical Leap Emerges As Frontrunner In Papal Combine
theonion.com/cardina...
February 28, 2025 at 4:00 PM
A critic of Napoleon once said, “He despises the nation whose applause he seeks.”
February 23, 2025 at 6:28 PM
If I watch a music video on YouTube, the top comment is likely to be some version of “Who is listening to this in *insert current year*?”

I don’t understand why people would comment that or why other people would engage with that comment, but it’s common enough that I’m clearly missing something.
February 23, 2025 at 2:19 PM
I don’t believe I’ve ever filmed any of my workouts.

Which begs the question: have I ever really worked out if there’s no film of it?
February 23, 2025 at 1:05 PM
I’m not all that political so I’m not up-to-date on what Eric Adams did, but I only hope that I’m man enough to stand on principle the way Hagan Scotten does here if that moment ever comes. Hat tip to him.
Eric Adams line prosecutor Hagan Scotten, resigning rather than filing "dismissal-with-leverage" motion:

"I expect you will eventually find someone who is enough of a fool, or enough of a coward, to file your motion. But it was never going to be me."

Via @NYTimes.com https://buff.ly/4hVJGLX
February 14, 2025 at 5:49 PM
41-years old today. If any of you need some wisdom that could only come from someone “who’s been around the block” or “seen a thing or two”, just let me know.
February 2, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Or maybe, people weren’t thrilled to see Flash with the worst running-form known to man.
January 13, 2025 at 10:52 PM
It doesn’t seem fair to get sick on a weekend. Like I should be able to complain to my union rep or something.
January 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Hoping we can all do the work to progress toward the life we want in 2025.

To paraphrase a saying I like: “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second-best time is today.”
a fireworks display with the words new year written in the foreground
ALT: a fireworks display with the words new year written in the foreground
media.tenor.com
January 1, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Has anyone ever finished a bag of marshmallows? I’m going camping and would like to roast 2-3 over the fire, so naturally they sell them in one pound bags.
December 28, 2024 at 2:44 PM
Merry Christmas, Everyone.
a christmas tree with a star on top of it and the words merry christmas .
ALT: a christmas tree with a star on top of it and the words merry christmas .
media.tenor.com
December 25, 2024 at 12:24 PM
I share this story every year, as it always gets me in the Christmas spirit. One very serious guy with a very serious job decided on the fly that he would help kids keep believing in Santa.

www.norad.mil/Newsroom/Art...
www.norad.mil
December 24, 2024 at 10:43 AM
I was in the grocery store this morning think “This place is playing some cool music.”

Then the realization hit me…
a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face .
ALT: a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face .
media.tenor.com
December 22, 2024 at 3:04 PM
Felt a pop in my hip flexor today. I was at the end of a workout, doing bodyweight reps, for an exercise I’ve done a thousand times before.

Old age happens gradually, and then suddenly.
two men are sitting next to each other in a dark room and one of them is saying hello darkness my old friend .
ALT: two men are sitting next to each other in a dark room and one of them is saying hello darkness my old friend .
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2024 at 8:05 PM
Congrats to Juan Soto for the huge contract.

But as a former athlete, the 15-year time frame is odd to me. No way he’s the same player in 2040 that he is now, which both he and the Mets have to realize. Also, I’m curious how motivated he’ll be going forward.

Regardless, should be fun to watch.
December 9, 2024 at 1:20 PM
Another very good year of saving money, and another subpar year at finding interesting hobbies. (I really thought either meditation or reading would stick)
I did a very good job this year at saving money.

I’m going to give myself a pat on the back rather than acknowledging that it is simply a lack of interesting hobbies that need funding.
December 8, 2024 at 11:15 PM
I saw a “street preacher” this weekend, yelling at strangers outside of the library.

I always wonder what those people do when they go home. Like, are you kicking back on the couch and watching TV after screaming “REPENT!” for 8 hours?
December 8, 2024 at 11:05 PM
Interacting with these new AI chatbots, I’ve found that it’s weird to be rude to them but it’s also weird to be polite.

I just don’t know which is weirder.
December 6, 2024 at 7:18 PM