Every time I open up my phone Trump has appointed like, the ice cream cone that killed Dawson’s Dad as the Secretary of Transportation.

Frani: Can you have a baby next month?
Me: Next month? It takes 10 months to grow a baby.
Frani: So is that a no?

We don’t watch much tv, and apparently the children are quite sanctimonious about it. I heard them talking to each other about how “they had that darn TV on across the street again” where “they sure do watch a lot of television all day.”