The Notorious ROY G BIV
@robwoodyard1.bsky.social
Freelance Writer: Late Show w/ David Letterman, etc. | Reasonably enthusiastic brand ambassador for Toughskins jeans | Slobberin' Citizen
Pinned
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half the people out there are dumber than that." - George Carlin
He has "concepts of an Epstein list" 😂😂😂
November 21, 2025 at 5:08 AM
He has "concepts of an Epstein list" 😂😂😂
The secret to happiness is finding someone who looks at you as intently as Nancy Mace stares through night-vision binoculars into the window of her sleeping ex
November 21, 2025 at 4:39 AM
The secret to happiness is finding someone who looks at you as intently as Nancy Mace stares through night-vision binoculars into the window of her sleeping ex
Josh Allen getting sacked tonight like a $400 Instacart order #thursdaynightfootball #bills #texans #buffalobills
November 21, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Josh Allen getting sacked tonight like a $400 Instacart order #thursdaynightfootball #bills #texans #buffalobills
Porky says he can fix the economy in two weeks, but apparently some guy named Dow Jones didn't get the memo...
November 21, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Porky says he can fix the economy in two weeks, but apparently some guy named Dow Jones didn't get the memo...
Happy Birthday to Joe Biden...can't believe that cagey rascal is still so sharp he's managing to control both coffee prices and the war in Ukraine from his secret bunker, while simultaneously cleaning up in his fantasy football league. Excelsior!
November 21, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Happy Birthday to Joe Biden...can't believe that cagey rascal is still so sharp he's managing to control both coffee prices and the war in Ukraine from his secret bunker, while simultaneously cleaning up in his fantasy football league. Excelsior!
Just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, the MAGAts want to invoke the 25th Amendment against Joe Biden because he's secretly destroying the economy from his basement while simultaneously being too incapacitated to leave the house? Yeah, that makes total sense... #QuietCultie
November 20, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, the MAGAts want to invoke the 25th Amendment against Joe Biden because he's secretly destroying the economy from his basement while simultaneously being too incapacitated to leave the house? Yeah, that makes total sense... #QuietCultie
There's an old joke from the vaudeville days that goes: "You can pick your friends, and you can file your nails, but you can't pick your friend's name out of the Epstein files...because they still haven't been released!"
November 20, 2025 at 6:24 AM
There's an old joke from the vaudeville days that goes: "You can pick your friends, and you can file your nails, but you can't pick your friend's name out of the Epstein files...because they still haven't been released!"
If you think your day was bad, at least Nancy Mace is not parked in front of your house with her lights off holding a stuffed rabbit with voodoo pins stuck in it.
November 19, 2025 at 3:45 AM
If you think your day was bad, at least Nancy Mace is not parked in front of your house with her lights off holding a stuffed rabbit with voodoo pins stuck in it.
The analytics guy from "Moneyball" would be whispering in Dan Camptell's ear to maybe punt the football maybe, um, once or twice a game... #lions #eagles #sundaynightfootball #nfl
November 17, 2025 at 3:55 AM
The analytics guy from "Moneyball" would be whispering in Dan Camptell's ear to maybe punt the football maybe, um, once or twice a game... #lions #eagles #sundaynightfootball #nfl
Ironically, Buzfeed has not run a single Epstein list
November 16, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Ironically, Buzfeed has not run a single Epstein list
Wonder how long it'll take MTG to break kayfabe...
November 16, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Wonder how long it'll take MTG to break kayfabe...
There's apparently an old saying that goes, "You can pick your friends...and you can pick your nose...but you can't clip your nails with the Epstein files."
November 15, 2025 at 10:50 PM
There's apparently an old saying that goes, "You can pick your friends...and you can pick your nose...but you can't clip your nails with the Epstein files."
To those who claim you can't make soup in an air fryer:
Your absolutely right
Your absolutely right
November 15, 2025 at 10:47 PM
To those who claim you can't make soup in an air fryer:
Your absolutely right
Your absolutely right
Merge wants to release the Erpstein Ferls? Ermaferkingherd!!
November 15, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Merge wants to release the Erpstein Ferls? Ermaferkingherd!!
The head coach of the New York Pigskin Football Giants was fired today after reportedly refusing to replace winless 47-year-old starting quarterback Eli Manning with rookie Chad Powers #Giants #NewYorkGiants
November 10, 2025 at 7:05 PM
The head coach of the New York Pigskin Football Giants was fired today after reportedly refusing to replace winless 47-year-old starting quarterback Eli Manning with rookie Chad Powers #Giants #NewYorkGiants
Susan "I'll Sell Out My Own Constituents for a Buck" Collins smirking in the background while a Democratic Senator details the fallout from children losing SNAP benefits pretty much sums up this country's political state... #shutdown
November 10, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Susan "I'll Sell Out My Own Constituents for a Buck" Collins smirking in the background while a Democratic Senator details the fallout from children losing SNAP benefits pretty much sums up this country's political state... #shutdown
Not nearly enough attention is paid to the number of boats and airplanes that disappear every year in the Bermuda Rectangle
November 8, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Not nearly enough attention is paid to the number of boats and airplanes that disappear every year in the Bermuda Rectangle
It's impossible to tell which side is which in the MAGA Civil War because they're all wearing the same uniforms and driving the same jacked-up $80,000 pickup trucks which curiously never seem to be hauling anything in the back except an occasional piece of high-end outdoor patio furniture.
November 6, 2025 at 6:11 PM
It's impossible to tell which side is which in the MAGA Civil War because they're all wearing the same uniforms and driving the same jacked-up $80,000 pickup trucks which curiously never seem to be hauling anything in the back except an occasional piece of high-end outdoor patio furniture.
Be a Pepper
November 6, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Be a Pepper
The license plate should read "83 IF" #PaulMcCartney
November 6, 2025 at 4:12 AM
The license plate should read "83 IF" #PaulMcCartney
Calling people "libtards" and "socialists" online is all fun and games until your cult leader yanks away your family's health insurance just like he and his puppetmasters repeatedly promised to do... #FoolMeThrice
November 5, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Calling people "libtards" and "socialists" online is all fun and games until your cult leader yanks away your family's health insurance just like he and his puppetmasters repeatedly promised to do... #FoolMeThrice
Curtis Sliwa should definitely demand a recount. I mean, he only lost by 968,000 votes 😂 #newyorkcity #mamdani
November 5, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Curtis Sliwa should definitely demand a recount. I mean, he only lost by 968,000 votes 😂 #newyorkcity #mamdani
Hoping I'll be able to collect enough MAGA tears in my rainwater barrel tonight to water my newly aerated lawn for the next week... #electionday #newyorkcity
November 5, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Hoping I'll be able to collect enough MAGA tears in my rainwater barrel tonight to water my newly aerated lawn for the next week... #electionday #newyorkcity
It would be totally fitting if this game ended up 28-3 #CurseOfKyle #SundayNightFootball #Commanders #Seahawks
November 3, 2025 at 2:33 AM
It would be totally fitting if this game ended up 28-3 #CurseOfKyle #SundayNightFootball #Commanders #Seahawks