Like a Viking Kiwami 2: Retconning the Retcons
@robewonkenobi91.bsky.social
He/Him. I tell dumb jokes on the interwebs. Big 40k fan and growing Ryo Ga Gotoku stan. Im what happens when you give a moron a thesaurus. I maybe make a tabletop game one day.
Pinned
Reasons why you should follow me:
1. It would be hysterical to have some random schmuck like me be the most followed account after some people spent thousands - millions even - on the bad place to attain the same thing.
2. I'd cry less.
1. It would be hysterical to have some random schmuck like me be the most followed account after some people spent thousands - millions even - on the bad place to attain the same thing.
2. I'd cry less.
The only “slam” I care about is when someone asks me what a baby sheep is called.
And I’m like “s’lam(b)”
And I’m like “s’lam(b)”
December 15, 2025 at 2:54 PM
The only “slam” I care about is when someone asks me what a baby sheep is called.
And I’m like “s’lam(b)”
And I’m like “s’lam(b)”
Accidentally washing a dollar in my pocket is the closest I have ever been to laundering money.
December 14, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Accidentally washing a dollar in my pocket is the closest I have ever been to laundering money.
Seals are what happens if you made horses into dogs and then said fuck it make em swim.
December 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Seals are what happens if you made horses into dogs and then said fuck it make em swim.
If cephalopods are so smart, how come they weren’t the first creatures to invent Baja Blast? Checkmate, atheists and/or theists.
December 11, 2025 at 5:16 PM
If cephalopods are so smart, how come they weren’t the first creatures to invent Baja Blast? Checkmate, atheists and/or theists.
League of Legends players will take this as a personal attack. And they should, because this is me personally attacking them.
December 9, 2025 at 9:39 PM
League of Legends players will take this as a personal attack. And they should, because this is me personally attacking them.
Do horses know they’re weird?
December 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Do horses know they’re weird?
I don’t think we talk enough about Taco Bell creamy jalapeño sauce
December 6, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I don’t think we talk enough about Taco Bell creamy jalapeño sauce
Unfortunately, the chips ahoy frappe doth slap.
December 5, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Unfortunately, the chips ahoy frappe doth slap.
“3d printed chicken”
You know what, if they could actually do that and make it taste the same with the same texture and flavor the same nutritional value, I’d stop buying organic and start buying synthetic in a heartbeat.
You know what, if they could actually do that and make it taste the same with the same texture and flavor the same nutritional value, I’d stop buying organic and start buying synthetic in a heartbeat.
December 1, 2025 at 9:57 PM
“3d printed chicken”
You know what, if they could actually do that and make it taste the same with the same texture and flavor the same nutritional value, I’d stop buying organic and start buying synthetic in a heartbeat.
You know what, if they could actually do that and make it taste the same with the same texture and flavor the same nutritional value, I’d stop buying organic and start buying synthetic in a heartbeat.
“When a girl says she only dates guys 6’ and over, that’s all fine, but when I do it it makes me-“
Hi. Have you ever made this joke? You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Come on down to the Used Joke Emporium across from the Washington Square Mall.
Hi. Have you ever made this joke? You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Come on down to the Used Joke Emporium across from the Washington Square Mall.
November 25, 2025 at 5:11 PM
“When a girl says she only dates guys 6’ and over, that’s all fine, but when I do it it makes me-“
Hi. Have you ever made this joke? You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Come on down to the Used Joke Emporium across from the Washington Square Mall.
Hi. Have you ever made this joke? You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Come on down to the Used Joke Emporium across from the Washington Square Mall.
I've been getting videos of people trying to square off on food with that Indian comedian and like...how does anyone think that's gonna go? Bro, chicken tikka masala clears just about every dish on the planet for me. I would have that before I have Korean food.
AS A KOREAN-AMERICAN.
AS A KOREAN-AMERICAN.
November 18, 2025 at 11:45 PM
I've been getting videos of people trying to square off on food with that Indian comedian and like...how does anyone think that's gonna go? Bro, chicken tikka masala clears just about every dish on the planet for me. I would have that before I have Korean food.
AS A KOREAN-AMERICAN.
AS A KOREAN-AMERICAN.
It is ingrained in my ethics to give people a chance to redeem themselves insofar as their efforts are genuine. The problem is that you don’t get to know if they were genuine until it’s too late to matter.
This is, of course, in reference to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
This is, of course, in reference to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
November 17, 2025 at 8:11 PM
It is ingrained in my ethics to give people a chance to redeem themselves insofar as their efforts are genuine. The problem is that you don’t get to know if they were genuine until it’s too late to matter.
This is, of course, in reference to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
This is, of course, in reference to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Hubba Bubba has the opportunity to do the funniest shit right now.
November 17, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Hubba Bubba has the opportunity to do the funniest shit right now.
Shoutout to the GOP for violating the Hatch Act. If they hadn’t been violating it regularly, I wouldn’t have ever learned about it since I would’ve assumed we didn’t need something like the Hatch Act because I had hoped elected adults would be better than this.
But here we are.
But here we are.
November 7, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Shoutout to the GOP for violating the Hatch Act. If they hadn’t been violating it regularly, I wouldn’t have ever learned about it since I would’ve assumed we didn’t need something like the Hatch Act because I had hoped elected adults would be better than this.
But here we are.
But here we are.
At times, I like to start my day with German bread.
Call it a Gluten morgen.
This is a 10/10 joke and requires no revision.
Call it a Gluten morgen.
This is a 10/10 joke and requires no revision.
November 7, 2025 at 5:35 PM
At times, I like to start my day with German bread.
Call it a Gluten morgen.
This is a 10/10 joke and requires no revision.
Call it a Gluten morgen.
This is a 10/10 joke and requires no revision.
To deal with the people who are gonna come in and say “well he didn’t answer the question.”
He did, right after he clarified the question to make sure it was being asked accurately, better representing fact and current circumstances rather than propaganda.
He did, right after he clarified the question to make sure it was being asked accurately, better representing fact and current circumstances rather than propaganda.
October 31, 2025 at 8:36 PM
To deal with the people who are gonna come in and say “well he didn’t answer the question.”
He did, right after he clarified the question to make sure it was being asked accurately, better representing fact and current circumstances rather than propaganda.
He did, right after he clarified the question to make sure it was being asked accurately, better representing fact and current circumstances rather than propaganda.
Reposted by Like a Viking Kiwami 2: Retconning the Retcons
If you're mad at the poor for receiving SNAP benefits, but not at billionaires for not paying taxes, you're a victim of THEIR propaganda.
Time to fix your priorities.
Time to fix your priorities.
October 28, 2025 at 6:11 PM
If you're mad at the poor for receiving SNAP benefits, but not at billionaires for not paying taxes, you're a victim of THEIR propaganda.
Time to fix your priorities.
Time to fix your priorities.
A certain account joined a few days ago and immediately the quality of posts on this site plummeted significantly.
October 23, 2025 at 8:11 PM
A certain account joined a few days ago and immediately the quality of posts on this site plummeted significantly.
Not to defend the guy, but up until today, I thought Totenkopf was the German name for the bad guy in the Wolfenstein reboots.
October 23, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Not to defend the guy, but up until today, I thought Totenkopf was the German name for the bad guy in the Wolfenstein reboots.
I have these grand ideas of “oh, I’ll just be sober in the evenings for these two days for discipline’s sake,” and then comes the evening when I get closer to the point where that would be tested.
I should probably clarify that I am sober for the vast majority of the day.
I should probably clarify that I am sober for the vast majority of the day.
October 23, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I have these grand ideas of “oh, I’ll just be sober in the evenings for these two days for discipline’s sake,” and then comes the evening when I get closer to the point where that would be tested.
I should probably clarify that I am sober for the vast majority of the day.
I should probably clarify that I am sober for the vast majority of the day.
If I could figure out how to disassociate on command, it would make my work day go by so much quicker (also I’d be worse at my job)
October 20, 2025 at 4:15 AM
If I could figure out how to disassociate on command, it would make my work day go by so much quicker (also I’d be worse at my job)
The plastic dog killer and the bootleg barbie doll keep saying they're gonna find who funded antifa.
The GOP did. They funded antifa with poverty wages, constant billionaire dick sucking, and their commitment to dismantling the constitution. You can't be "anti" something that isn't there.
The GOP did. They funded antifa with poverty wages, constant billionaire dick sucking, and their commitment to dismantling the constitution. You can't be "anti" something that isn't there.
October 19, 2025 at 3:22 PM
The plastic dog killer and the bootleg barbie doll keep saying they're gonna find who funded antifa.
The GOP did. They funded antifa with poverty wages, constant billionaire dick sucking, and their commitment to dismantling the constitution. You can't be "anti" something that isn't there.
The GOP did. They funded antifa with poverty wages, constant billionaire dick sucking, and their commitment to dismantling the constitution. You can't be "anti" something that isn't there.
Somebody gets me
October 15, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Somebody gets me
Oh mY GOD I became the meme. I’m a millennial with back problems! What have I become?
October 12, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Oh mY GOD I became the meme. I’m a millennial with back problems! What have I become?
This is a weird way for Nick to admit that the “AI” industry as we know today was built on theft.
From May 2025: Meta’s former head of global affairs said asking for permission from rights owners to train models would “basically kill the AI industry in this country overnight.”
Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry
Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.
www.theverge.com
October 9, 2025 at 5:14 PM
This is a weird way for Nick to admit that the “AI” industry as we know today was built on theft.