Pinned
if this is his idea of friendship then I don't want that. I mean, it would be fine to be friends like this if it weren't for only a month ago that we were talking every day. So, I can't help but consider our history and compare the present to the past. And I guess now I know that that closeness will
I slept past my alarm again until 5pm and now I'm exhausted again at so I'm going to sleep at 1am lol. I don't expect to sleep long but I'll try stay up for the whole day. I hope that d will be around but also... hmm. I'm just lonely. I hope anyone is around lol. I want a hug. I don't want to be
February 15, 2026 at 12:56 AM
I slept past my alarm again until 5pm and now I'm exhausted again at so I'm going to sleep at 1am lol. I don't expect to sleep long but I'll try stay up for the whole day. I hope that d will be around but also... hmm. I'm just lonely. I hope anyone is around lol. I want a hug. I don't want to be
I know I'm feeling particularly low cos of my bad sleep but man, I'm in the trenches. I'm looking forward to therapy next week. To get out of the house and make some kind of progress. I can't stop ruminating about d. I hate even admitting that. I tell myself off when I'm doing it, but it doesn't
February 14, 2026 at 4:22 AM
I know I'm feeling particularly low cos of my bad sleep but man, I'm in the trenches. I'm looking forward to therapy next week. To get out of the house and make some kind of progress. I can't stop ruminating about d. I hate even admitting that. I tell myself off when I'm doing it, but it doesn't
I feel so depressed today. my sleep is a mess so I know that's mostly why. haven't been able to make myself shower for the last 3 days. I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to go back to sleep. I keep dreaming of him. It's nicer in my dreams, not just because he's there but because I
February 13, 2026 at 7:36 PM
I feel so depressed today. my sleep is a mess so I know that's mostly why. haven't been able to make myself shower for the last 3 days. I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to go back to sleep. I keep dreaming of him. It's nicer in my dreams, not just because he's there but because I
I want to vent about d (as always) but... I feel stupid and know that I shouldn't think about him so much. And I know my thoughts are laced with optimism and fictional meanings. My body feels so heavy and tired. I vacuumed the bathroom like I wanted. I sat in a group call and a and j had joined in
February 12, 2026 at 10:16 PM
I want to vent about d (as always) but... I feel stupid and know that I shouldn't think about him so much. And I know my thoughts are laced with optimism and fictional meanings. My body feels so heavy and tired. I vacuumed the bathroom like I wanted. I sat in a group call and a and j had joined in
I'm exhausted and my mom is stressing me out and I just want to leave the call and d is in a call with a and it's making me anxious for no reason cos it's not like he likes me and I already told a I might join but now it's gonna look like I joined cos of him
February 12, 2026 at 4:56 PM
I'm exhausted and my mom is stressing me out and I just want to leave the call and d is in a call with a and it's making me anxious for no reason cos it's not like he likes me and I already told a I might join but now it's gonna look like I joined cos of him
I slept through my alarms and missed my physio appointment the one thing I've been needing for so long I'm so stupid
February 12, 2026 at 2:23 PM
I slept through my alarms and missed my physio appointment the one thing I've been needing for so long I'm so stupid
gr sent me a link to a streamer that d is friends with (he met up w them in the UK) to say that d was in voice w them and I did click on it on my normal account for a little but told gr I felt too weird and shy so I went on my alt account 🙃 I just listened as I was doing stuff and they're a group
February 12, 2026 at 6:13 AM
gr sent me a link to a streamer that d is friends with (he met up w them in the UK) to say that d was in voice w them and I did click on it on my normal account for a little but told gr I felt too weird and shy so I went on my alt account 🙃 I just listened as I was doing stuff and they're a group
cried in therapy already woo. she asked why I was stressed about coming here or like what lead up to getting there. idk I was so exhausted and stressed I just teared up. I had already got teary but managed to stop. I felt embarrassed cos it was like barely opening up, but just expressing it felt so
February 11, 2026 at 4:53 PM
cried in therapy already woo. she asked why I was stressed about coming here or like what lead up to getting there. idk I was so exhausted and stressed I just teared up. I had already got teary but managed to stop. I felt embarrassed cos it was like barely opening up, but just expressing it felt so
I'm gonna be like five minutes late and my tummy is being weird and I only ate a banana and my head feels so foggy and I don't want to do this :( ugh now I have a tummy ache. I didn't have enough time to wait for my meds before I ate. or maybe I'm cramping. or I need the loo. idk!!
February 11, 2026 at 2:59 PM
I'm gonna be like five minutes late and my tummy is being weird and I only ate a banana and my head feels so foggy and I don't want to do this :( ugh now I have a tummy ache. I didn't have enough time to wait for my meds before I ate. or maybe I'm cramping. or I need the loo. idk!!
ok no I feel sure he doesn't like me njduududjdjjd I'm so exhausted I don't wanna go to therapy fml
February 11, 2026 at 2:12 PM
ok no I feel sure he doesn't like me njduududjdjjd I'm so exhausted I don't wanna go to therapy fml
I need a hug I just can't name anyone that I'd like one from.
February 11, 2026 at 9:19 AM
I need a hug I just can't name anyone that I'd like one from.
a saying she was worried about me so I tried open up more by talking about how low I feel and she went on to basically lecture me the same way my parents do like thanks I hadn't thought of that before! never again :)
February 11, 2026 at 3:35 AM
a saying she was worried about me so I tried open up more by talking about how low I feel and she went on to basically lecture me the same way my parents do like thanks I hadn't thought of that before! never again :)
I'm just gonna try take it slow this evening (it's 2am lol) and shower, eat dinner, change my bedding and idk do pilates or something. I vacuumed earlier and I feel super proud of myself. I'm nervous about tomorrow but I think I can handle it and it will be good for me. hopefully.
February 11, 2026 at 2:07 AM
I'm just gonna try take it slow this evening (it's 2am lol) and shower, eat dinner, change my bedding and idk do pilates or something. I vacuumed earlier and I feel super proud of myself. I'm nervous about tomorrow but I think I can handle it and it will be good for me. hopefully.
I am pathetic and everyone can see it but maybe my senseless hope will carry me to something better
February 10, 2026 at 8:25 AM
I am pathetic and everyone can see it but maybe my senseless hope will carry me to something better
he streamed his guitar (via game) and I felt like my insides were melting at times when he spoke. and he asked me to join back cos I left as a joke before he joined and I didn't realise and he wanted me to be there !! and streamed it like we spoke about a couple days ago. and I just. it doesn't help
February 9, 2026 at 11:41 PM
he streamed his guitar (via game) and I felt like my insides were melting at times when he spoke. and he asked me to join back cos I left as a joke before he joined and I didn't realise and he wanted me to be there !! and streamed it like we spoke about a couple days ago. and I just. it doesn't help
don't flirt with me please
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 PM
don't flirt with me please
saw twi(light) in concert which was fricking awesome and a and b loved it too so I felt super glad. my tummy got weird before it started and I was almost late from the toilet but it was ok in the end. I felt a bit left out as they kept making jokes to eachother and a wouldn't pass them along to me
February 9, 2026 at 5:39 AM
saw twi(light) in concert which was fricking awesome and a and b loved it too so I felt super glad. my tummy got weird before it started and I was almost late from the toilet but it was ok in the end. I felt a bit left out as they kept making jokes to eachother and a wouldn't pass them along to me
nothing is perfect but I'm really so glad to have him back
February 7, 2026 at 5:09 AM
nothing is perfect but I'm really so glad to have him back
well. Alex reads tarot came up on my fyp and said today that person will come back and bring you news/clarity and hinted not to let them back in and low and behold he popped up. I didn't sleep at all and was feeling pretty terrible and he said hey. I wanted to be cold and I was quite blunt. I just
February 6, 2026 at 10:03 PM
well. Alex reads tarot came up on my fyp and said today that person will come back and bring you news/clarity and hinted not to let them back in and low and behold he popped up. I didn't sleep at all and was feeling pretty terrible and he said hey. I wanted to be cold and I was quite blunt. I just
I hate you for making me hate you
February 6, 2026 at 9:09 AM
I hate you for making me hate you
I miss him. I don't even think it's something in particular, just him. I love how hard he tries at jokes, love how witty he is, how expressive he can be. It always goes so wrong when I look up to a man. I waste away in my insecurity, dimming my own light before they can do it for me. waa was poor me
February 6, 2026 at 4:13 AM
I miss him. I don't even think it's something in particular, just him. I love how hard he tries at jokes, love how witty he is, how expressive he can be. It always goes so wrong when I look up to a man. I waste away in my insecurity, dimming my own light before they can do it for me. waa was poor me
against my better judgment I really hoped he might reach out this week. I was really hoping he wasn't being so obvious with his disinterest.
February 5, 2026 at 6:46 PM
against my better judgment I really hoped he might reach out this week. I was really hoping he wasn't being so obvious with his disinterest.
want to isolate but :(
February 5, 2026 at 6:34 PM
want to isolate but :(
wrote an essay and got back a sentence from a :( I just don't have the friends to talk about romance with and it sucks. let me overthink to you. why do u wanna hang out but u don't wanna speak about my problems. sorry I bore you so.
February 5, 2026 at 6:32 PM
wrote an essay and got back a sentence from a :( I just don't have the friends to talk about romance with and it sucks. let me overthink to you. why do u wanna hang out but u don't wanna speak about my problems. sorry I bore you so.
why does my torso ache when I miss you? why did I feel such a connection if it wouldn't last for you? I wish we had just stayed platonic in our conversation. it made things easier with tog. less shame, more sweet. I miss you.
February 5, 2026 at 6:19 PM
why does my torso ache when I miss you? why did I feel such a connection if it wouldn't last for you? I wish we had just stayed platonic in our conversation. it made things easier with tog. less shame, more sweet. I miss you.