The Milkman
@realmilkman.bsky.social
You have to be realistic about these kinds of things
Pinned
The Milkman
@realmilkman.bsky.social
· Mar 5
Why Dadish is the greatest game ever created, a thread:
Can’t think of a worse blunt rotation than Elon Musk, Burger King Crown Guy, Moo Deng, and the Unc Detector
December 4, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Can’t think of a worse blunt rotation than Elon Musk, Burger King Crown Guy, Moo Deng, and the Unc Detector
Reposted by The Milkman
my favorite thing about Spotify wrapped is that I get older but they stay the same listening age
December 3, 2025 at 11:43 PM
my favorite thing about Spotify wrapped is that I get older but they stay the same listening age
Asked for a bottle of bubbly at the club and they gave me fucking champagne. How the fuck am I supposed to blow bubbles with this.
December 3, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Asked for a bottle of bubbly at the club and they gave me fucking champagne. How the fuck am I supposed to blow bubbles with this.
Thrilled to announce I will be wearing blue light glasses during work for the foreseeable future. Would like to thank my friends and family that have supported me throughout the decision process. Excited to get started and see where we can take this thing!
December 2, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Thrilled to announce I will be wearing blue light glasses during work for the foreseeable future. Would like to thank my friends and family that have supported me throughout the decision process. Excited to get started and see where we can take this thing!
Are white men allowed to yearn in 2025? Or has wokism taken that from us as well?
December 2, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Are white men allowed to yearn in 2025? Or has wokism taken that from us as well?
Reposted by The Milkman
A colon does feel like an uppercase semicolon. The powers that be got that one right when designing the keyboard.
December 1, 2025 at 4:22 PM
A colon does feel like an uppercase semicolon. The powers that be got that one right when designing the keyboard.
Reposted by The Milkman
25 is too old for blackout Wednesday.
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 PM
25 is too old for blackout Wednesday.
I feel like we don’t acknowledge often enough how cool puffer fish are. Imagine you got a little adrenaline rush and your bones shot through your skin as you inflated to the size of a car
November 26, 2025 at 3:05 PM
I feel like we don’t acknowledge often enough how cool puffer fish are. Imagine you got a little adrenaline rush and your bones shot through your skin as you inflated to the size of a car
Woke up this morning and did my dance practice just to realize the dance already happened 😔
November 24, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Woke up this morning and did my dance practice just to realize the dance already happened 😔
Honestly the fact that Vidhath is requiring us to show up at the temple an hour before he does is respectable but at the same time super fucking annoying
November 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Honestly the fact that Vidhath is requiring us to show up at the temple an hour before he does is respectable but at the same time super fucking annoying
Reposted by The Milkman
Me, a veterinarian and coincidentally very speciesist, to the parents of the duckling that was caught in a forest fire: “Your goose is cooked.”
November 15, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Me, a veterinarian and coincidentally very speciesist, to the parents of the duckling that was caught in a forest fire: “Your goose is cooked.”
If my messages aren’t instantly either reacted to or replied to in a group chat it takes all the willpower I have not to put forks through my eyeballs
November 14, 2025 at 3:58 AM
If my messages aren’t instantly either reacted to or replied to in a group chat it takes all the willpower I have not to put forks through my eyeballs
The broke clock being right twice a day implies that the fixed clock is wrong twice a day
November 12, 2025 at 7:57 PM
The broke clock being right twice a day implies that the fixed clock is wrong twice a day
2%, 1%, skim, almond, soy, oat, it’s all just milk to me, man.
November 7, 2025 at 5:04 PM
2%, 1%, skim, almond, soy, oat, it’s all just milk to me, man.
I miss Luke from Outdoor Boys like a mf
October 22, 2025 at 5:50 AM
I miss Luke from Outdoor Boys like a mf
I’m not the impostor. However, even if I were the impostor, I’m still gonna repair the oxygen and prevent the reactor from melting down. I’m a villain, not a monster.
October 16, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I’m not the impostor. However, even if I were the impostor, I’m still gonna repair the oxygen and prevent the reactor from melting down. I’m a villain, not a monster.
“Hello, Sharks.” I take out 3 dead pigeons from my trench coat and devour them whole, one-by-one. “So, can I expect a $1 million investment at 5% stake?”
October 13, 2025 at 6:55 PM
“Hello, Sharks.” I take out 3 dead pigeons from my trench coat and devour them whole, one-by-one. “So, can I expect a $1 million investment at 5% stake?”
Gardening tips for white boys with swag and a little bit of motion
Crocheting advice for white boys who got that shit on and have motion
How to get started birdwatching as a white boy who’s allowed to feel himself
Candle-making for soulful white boys dripping with swag
Beekeeping 101 as white boy wi
Crocheting advice for white boys who got that shit on and have motion
How to get started birdwatching as a white boy who’s allowed to feel himself
Candle-making for soulful white boys dripping with swag
Beekeeping 101 as white boy wi
October 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Gardening tips for white boys with swag and a little bit of motion
Crocheting advice for white boys who got that shit on and have motion
How to get started birdwatching as a white boy who’s allowed to feel himself
Candle-making for soulful white boys dripping with swag
Beekeeping 101 as white boy wi
Crocheting advice for white boys who got that shit on and have motion
How to get started birdwatching as a white boy who’s allowed to feel himself
Candle-making for soulful white boys dripping with swag
Beekeeping 101 as white boy wi
Just put all my eggs in one basket 🤞
October 9, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Just put all my eggs in one basket 🤞
Everyone always loves to point out that the alphabet doesn’t have to be in that order, but I say neither do numbers. Who fucking cares if I put 4 before 3. Fuck you.
October 6, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Everyone always loves to point out that the alphabet doesn’t have to be in that order, but I say neither do numbers. Who fucking cares if I put 4 before 3. Fuck you.
Don’t like when people impersonate bots. I’ve had it with fake people in my life.
October 1, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Don’t like when people impersonate bots. I’ve had it with fake people in my life.
South Dakota…. But it’s more north than like at least 9 states? Embarrassing
September 28, 2025 at 7:59 PM
South Dakota…. But it’s more north than like at least 9 states? Embarrassing
Reposted by The Milkman
Why is my body constantly in pain?
September 25, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Why is my body constantly in pain?