regular sized ackman
@pleas4nt.bsky.social
You can always find me in the drift
(Research monkeys chatting on smoke break) so like, what I don't get then is like, is there a Wire Father? Who fucked Wire Mother?
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 AM
(Research monkeys chatting on smoke break) so like, what I don't get then is like, is there a Wire Father? Who fucked Wire Mother?
Steve Ballmer on stage at product reveal, 2040: All of our new models of residential helper android's will have human-like asses(not a sex thing) so you can spank them when they are naughty and misbehave(again, not a sex thing)
[Scattered applause]
[Scattered applause]
November 10, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Steve Ballmer on stage at product reveal, 2040: All of our new models of residential helper android's will have human-like asses(not a sex thing) so you can spank them when they are naughty and misbehave(again, not a sex thing)
[Scattered applause]
[Scattered applause]
Popping off a handgun downtown because I'm ADHD
November 9, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Popping off a handgun downtown because I'm ADHD
Laying myself down to sleep on the cold linoleum as my forefathers before me
November 9, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Laying myself down to sleep on the cold linoleum as my forefathers before me
Had a great time out but then I got home and things went to shit shoulda stayed out #OutAllNight
November 9, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Had a great time out but then I got home and things went to shit shoulda stayed out #OutAllNight
THE FOPPISH DANDY used Bon Mot. It was super effective!
You are stunned for (1) more turns
THE FOPPISH DANDY is charging Witty Repartee
You are no longer stunned.
Feign apathy [ ]
I'm Rubber and You're Glue [x]
Hate Crime [ ]
Flee [ ]
You are stunned for (1) more turns
THE FOPPISH DANDY is charging Witty Repartee
You are no longer stunned.
Feign apathy [ ]
I'm Rubber and You're Glue [x]
Hate Crime [ ]
Flee [ ]
November 9, 2025 at 3:50 AM
THE FOPPISH DANDY used Bon Mot. It was super effective!
You are stunned for (1) more turns
THE FOPPISH DANDY is charging Witty Repartee
You are no longer stunned.
Feign apathy [ ]
I'm Rubber and You're Glue [x]
Hate Crime [ ]
Flee [ ]
You are stunned for (1) more turns
THE FOPPISH DANDY is charging Witty Repartee
You are no longer stunned.
Feign apathy [ ]
I'm Rubber and You're Glue [x]
Hate Crime [ ]
Flee [ ]
I remember watching Kraven: The Hunter and at one point the camera zooms in on a cigarette butt and there's practically a flashing neon sign that says "Chekhov's Cigarette Butt!".
And then they never address it again so I waited for a post-credit sequence to see if it would make an appearance
And then they never address it again so I waited for a post-credit sequence to see if it would make an appearance
November 7, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I remember watching Kraven: The Hunter and at one point the camera zooms in on a cigarette butt and there's practically a flashing neon sign that says "Chekhov's Cigarette Butt!".
And then they never address it again so I waited for a post-credit sequence to see if it would make an appearance
And then they never address it again so I waited for a post-credit sequence to see if it would make an appearance
Reposted by regular sized ackman
The secret to alchemy is that most combinations of two things will make mustard gas If you mix them except for lead and the pope’s blood which makes gold and daytime television and benzos which makes race science
November 7, 2025 at 7:08 PM
The secret to alchemy is that most combinations of two things will make mustard gas If you mix them except for lead and the pope’s blood which makes gold and daytime television and benzos which makes race science
I used to do standup but I hung up the mic years ago - I was supposed to go on after Michael Richards at the laugh factory. Good luck following that act
November 7, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I used to do standup but I hung up the mic years ago - I was supposed to go on after Michael Richards at the laugh factory. Good luck following that act
Can't keep silent about this anymore... Taz was straight up traveling in Space Jam
November 7, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Can't keep silent about this anymore... Taz was straight up traveling in Space Jam
Dr Bones on the hit network television show Bones when it turns out the victim had an incredibly rare bone disease: "hmm. This might be useful information, too bad I've got other stuff to keep me busy until we get to the 3rd act"
November 7, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Dr Bones on the hit network television show Bones when it turns out the victim had an incredibly rare bone disease: "hmm. This might be useful information, too bad I've got other stuff to keep me busy until we get to the 3rd act"
Referring to the opp as a "milksop" >>>
November 7, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Referring to the opp as a "milksop" >>>
Reposted by regular sized ackman
like two ships going at it on each other in the night
November 7, 2025 at 5:29 AM
like two ships going at it on each other in the night
Listen toots let me be clear off the hop: the only thing I do gentle is simmer. And lovemaking
November 7, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Listen toots let me be clear off the hop: the only thing I do gentle is simmer. And lovemaking
Fiscally responsible stimulus packages for Algernon
November 7, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Fiscally responsible stimulus packages for Algernon
Reposted by regular sized ackman
(my buddy's being taken over by a cursed amulet) Resist its call, you fat sack of shit.
November 7, 2025 at 3:37 AM
(my buddy's being taken over by a cursed amulet) Resist its call, you fat sack of shit.
[Running out of ideas] uhh what if we used the buffalo's ribcage as like a xylophone or something ?
November 7, 2025 at 5:05 AM
[Running out of ideas] uhh what if we used the buffalo's ribcage as like a xylophone or something ?
Haven't done any contrivances in a minute damn
November 7, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Haven't done any contrivances in a minute damn
Phalanx is kind of the "chode" of battle formations
November 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Phalanx is kind of the "chode" of battle formations
Asking the Kinko's guy to print me 100 copies of the true face of God and he just nods and goes in the back
November 7, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Asking the Kinko's guy to print me 100 copies of the true face of God and he just nods and goes in the back
Phalanxes were removed from the meta after the devs introduced chain lightning
November 7, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Phalanxes were removed from the meta after the devs introduced chain lightning
And now we'll go live to outside the courthouse where Lightning McQueen is making a statement. Let's listen in
LM: I.. I thought it was a deer! I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm.. I'm so sorr-
(Me from the crowd) LIGHTNING, DO "KERCHOW"!
LM: I.. I thought it was a deer! I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm.. I'm so sorr-
(Me from the crowd) LIGHTNING, DO "KERCHOW"!
November 7, 2025 at 3:13 AM
And now we'll go live to outside the courthouse where Lightning McQueen is making a statement. Let's listen in
LM: I.. I thought it was a deer! I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm.. I'm so sorr-
(Me from the crowd) LIGHTNING, DO "KERCHOW"!
LM: I.. I thought it was a deer! I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm.. I'm so sorr-
(Me from the crowd) LIGHTNING, DO "KERCHOW"!
Some dickhead nominated me for president of the local. Fuck off
November 7, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Some dickhead nominated me for president of the local. Fuck off
Thought that was Naomi for a minute, something about the pose
November 4, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Thought that was Naomi for a minute, something about the pose
Having a tall glass of ice cold milk with a warm milk chaser
November 4, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Having a tall glass of ice cold milk with a warm milk chaser