regular sized ackman
@pleas4nt.bsky.social
You can always find me in the drift
Good recipe for a bunch of carrots?
January 19, 2026 at 11:14 PM
Good recipe for a bunch of carrots?
A bunch of my friends are scriveners so whenever we go to a party they always end up talking about work and referring to me as a "civilian"
January 19, 2026 at 5:34 PM
A bunch of my friends are scriveners so whenever we go to a party they always end up talking about work and referring to me as a "civilian"
Overflowed my sneak stat and now no one can see or hear me. I walk this earth alone
January 18, 2026 at 5:26 AM
Overflowed my sneak stat and now no one can see or hear me. I walk this earth alone
I would kill to be described as "supple" in the local newspaper. But I would also kill to the pass the time or to improve my parking spot at the mall, so don't read too much into it
January 18, 2026 at 5:22 AM
I would kill to be described as "supple" in the local newspaper. But I would also kill to the pass the time or to improve my parking spot at the mall, so don't read too much into it
Found out the dog likes raw cabbage. Guess I can stop cooking the whole head of cabbage I give her each day
January 18, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Found out the dog likes raw cabbage. Guess I can stop cooking the whole head of cabbage I give her each day
Miscommunication at the glory hole and we just end up breathing into each other's mouths for a bit
January 17, 2026 at 7:08 AM
Miscommunication at the glory hole and we just end up breathing into each other's mouths for a bit
Reposted by regular sized ackman
Wuma Nian, eight mountain scholar: a man who chases two rabbits catches neither
disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb
Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb
Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
January 14, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Wuma Nian, eight mountain scholar: a man who chases two rabbits catches neither
disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb
Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb
Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
Ong my love you were out of pocket to cast me off discourteously
January 15, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Ong my love you were out of pocket to cast me off discourteously
Hitting a deer at highway speeds in my Ford Focus and leaving a note with my insurance info in the body cavity
January 14, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Hitting a deer at highway speeds in my Ford Focus and leaving a note with my insurance info in the body cavity
God gives his toughest battles to the first person he sees
January 14, 2026 at 10:49 PM
God gives his toughest battles to the first person he sees
Reposted by regular sized ackman
Don't even try to say that my ten-kobold chain lightning combo doesn't count because some of them were children. That makes it more impressive, on account of their smaller mass.
January 14, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Don't even try to say that my ten-kobold chain lightning combo doesn't count because some of them were children. That makes it more impressive, on account of their smaller mass.
For most if my adult life I didn't realize yogurt was real, I thought it was something made up by Gene Roddenberry
January 14, 2026 at 10:42 PM
For most if my adult life I didn't realize yogurt was real, I thought it was something made up by Gene Roddenberry
Whenever someone uses a word I don't know I ask if it means the stuff other than the baby that comes out when a woman has a baby
January 14, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Whenever someone uses a word I don't know I ask if it means the stuff other than the baby that comes out when a woman has a baby
I studied at the Institoot of Ine Farts
January 14, 2026 at 10:25 PM
I studied at the Institoot of Ine Farts
[Railcar hobo] is anyone else gonna have a rusty can of beans? I'd have a rusty can of beans but if I'm the only one we can just get the bill and go
January 13, 2026 at 5:40 AM
[Railcar hobo] is anyone else gonna have a rusty can of beans? I'd have a rusty can of beans but if I'm the only one we can just get the bill and go
And what exactly was the farmer doing in the dell. What's he trying to hide
January 13, 2026 at 5:35 AM
And what exactly was the farmer doing in the dell. What's he trying to hide
Sitting bedside warming up the homie's glass of bedtime milk between my thighs
January 13, 2026 at 5:25 AM
Sitting bedside warming up the homie's glass of bedtime milk between my thighs
Magic is real but only the bad kind
January 12, 2026 at 11:12 PM
Magic is real but only the bad kind
Jigsaw: let's play a game
Me to the other hostages: if he pulls out Catan I'm shooting myself in the head with that arbalest over there, I'm calling dibs now
Me to the other hostages: if he pulls out Catan I'm shooting myself in the head with that arbalest over there, I'm calling dibs now
January 12, 2026 at 3:08 AM
Jigsaw: let's play a game
Me to the other hostages: if he pulls out Catan I'm shooting myself in the head with that arbalest over there, I'm calling dibs now
Me to the other hostages: if he pulls out Catan I'm shooting myself in the head with that arbalest over there, I'm calling dibs now
The more things change, the more they change
January 11, 2026 at 10:53 PM
The more things change, the more they change
Under what statute do you presume to have the authority to police the number of monkeys jumping on the bed?
January 11, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Under what statute do you presume to have the authority to police the number of monkeys jumping on the bed?
You never realize how many movies have Dead Mom
January 11, 2026 at 8:22 PM
You never realize how many movies have Dead Mom
Hard to say if buddy's place is decorated like this because he's single, or he's single because his place is decorated like this
January 11, 2026 at 4:24 AM
Hard to say if buddy's place is decorated like this because he's single, or he's single because his place is decorated like this
The Chinese revolution made one critical mistake and that was to use rhetorically the phrase "running dogs" to be bad. Have you ever seen dogs run, fuck can they run and happy to do it. We should all be so lucky
January 10, 2026 at 3:12 PM
The Chinese revolution made one critical mistake and that was to use rhetorically the phrase "running dogs" to be bad. Have you ever seen dogs run, fuck can they run and happy to do it. We should all be so lucky
If you don't have a couple little field guides of your local flora and fauna you are either the smartest person alive, or the dumbest
January 10, 2026 at 3:06 AM
If you don't have a couple little field guides of your local flora and fauna you are either the smartest person alive, or the dumbest