cowboylikeEm
@omi13.bsky.social
I don’t start shit but I can tell you how it ends.
I can’t tell I need to get back on the Peloton because I just got winded bending over to tie my shoes.
November 15, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I can’t tell I need to get back on the Peloton because I just got winded bending over to tie my shoes.
The couple who ride on the scooters together look like the biggest twats in the universe.
November 15, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The couple who ride on the scooters together look like the biggest twats in the universe.
Play Shelby, you cowards.
November 15, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Play Shelby, you cowards.
For the first time since Kindergarten I get to go to my kid’s Thanksgiving lunch. I’m so excited. Horrible food but the best vibes.
November 14, 2025 at 2:14 PM
For the first time since Kindergarten I get to go to my kid’s Thanksgiving lunch. I’m so excited. Horrible food but the best vibes.
Picasso Moon is such a weird Bobby song. Jesus.
November 11, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Picasso Moon is such a weird Bobby song. Jesus.
November 9, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Our retard President just said he loves the Jets and he loves the Giants.
My husband: “No he doesn’t. That’s fucking IMPOSSIBLE.”
Please get this trash off of my football game. He’s going to jinx the Lions.
My husband: “No he doesn’t. That’s fucking IMPOSSIBLE.”
Please get this trash off of my football game. He’s going to jinx the Lions.
November 9, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Our retard President just said he loves the Jets and he loves the Giants.
My husband: “No he doesn’t. That’s fucking IMPOSSIBLE.”
Please get this trash off of my football game. He’s going to jinx the Lions.
My husband: “No he doesn’t. That’s fucking IMPOSSIBLE.”
Please get this trash off of my football game. He’s going to jinx the Lions.
Him “Wait, Falling 303?! Is that a song?”
Me: “Oh honey, you’ve been away for so long.”
Me: “Oh honey, you’ve been away for so long.”
November 8, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Him “Wait, Falling 303?! Is that a song?”
Me: “Oh honey, you’ve been away for so long.”
Me: “Oh honey, you’ve been away for so long.”
I’m making Taiwanese beef noodle soup tonight and I can’t even with the smells in my home right now.
November 4, 2025 at 9:28 PM
I’m making Taiwanese beef noodle soup tonight and I can’t even with the smells in my home right now.
More like digital butthole.
November 4, 2025 at 6:51 PM
More like digital butthole.
Crazy that Dick Cheney and the disco biscuits died the same week.
November 4, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Crazy that Dick Cheney and the disco biscuits died the same week.
Crazy that the disco biscuits and Donna Jean died in the same week.
November 4, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Crazy that the disco biscuits and Donna Jean died in the same week.
Brandi Carlile is magic. Plain and simple.
November 3, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Brandi Carlile is magic. Plain and simple.
My kid keeps counting her Halloween candy as she goes house to house and I’m all, “It’s not the pile, it’s pilin’ it high.”
October 31, 2025 at 11:43 PM
My kid keeps counting her Halloween candy as she goes house to house and I’m all, “It’s not the pile, it’s pilin’ it high.”
More like a butthole of positivity.
October 31, 2025 at 12:34 PM
More like a butthole of positivity.
This shit is bananas.
October 29, 2025 at 9:55 PM
This shit is bananas.
The Blue Jays, baby ⚾️
October 29, 2025 at 8:46 PM
The Blue Jays, baby ⚾️
Blue Jays vs. Dodgers is dreamy baseball.
Let’s go Jays!!!
Let’s go Jays!!!
October 29, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Blue Jays vs. Dodgers is dreamy baseball.
Let’s go Jays!!!
Let’s go Jays!!!
Ugh. I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he gave me a prescription for BIFOCALS. What the fuck?! I turn 45 and immediately need bifocals. 😭😭😭
October 28, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Ugh. I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he gave me a prescription for BIFOCALS. What the fuck?! I turn 45 and immediately need bifocals. 😭😭😭
I’m having a very Canadian day. Let’s go Jays!
October 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I’m having a very Canadian day. Let’s go Jays!
Me as tears are streaming down my face after watching the Expos doc and Zach is trying to put on the John Candy doc: “No, don’t! I can’t watch a doc about another Canadian tragedy today!”
October 25, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Me as tears are streaming down my face after watching the Expos doc and Zach is trying to put on the John Candy doc: “No, don’t! I can’t watch a doc about another Canadian tragedy today!”
The show is called Nobody Wants This because not even the audience cares about the characters.
October 25, 2025 at 1:35 PM
The show is called Nobody Wants This because not even the audience cares about the characters.
This country is failing so fast and now my favorite band isn’t going to be my favorite band anymore and nothing is ever going to be good again.
October 25, 2025 at 10:23 AM
This country is failing so fast and now my favorite band isn’t going to be my favorite band anymore and nothing is ever going to be good again.