Ollie the Octopus
@ollietheoctopus.bsky.social
A bedtime mystery podcast about an octopus that is also a private eye working in Baltimore City. https://anchor.fm/ollie-the-octopus . I mean, I am the octopus. In the podcast that is me, committing to the bit.
open.spotify.com/show/1vglYSf... Ollie and the Malfunctioning Toaster
Spotify – Web Player
open.spotify.com
November 16, 2025 at 2:14 AM
open.spotify.com/show/1vglYSf... Ollie and the Malfunctioning Toaster
Take that, seabirds www.nytimes.com/2025/04/03/b...
Trump Imposes Tariffs on Remote Islands
Some of the more sparsely populated territories in the world that do little trade with the United States have been caught up in the trade war.
www.nytimes.com
April 3, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Take that, seabirds www.nytimes.com/2025/04/03/b...
Reposted by Ollie the Octopus
A completely serious question.
When people, and businesses, and institutions with the resources and reputation to stand firm…don’t, where does that leave this country.
cc Paul, Weiss. And Columbia. And so many others
When people, and businesses, and institutions with the resources and reputation to stand firm…don’t, where does that leave this country.
cc Paul, Weiss. And Columbia. And so many others
March 20, 2025 at 11:04 PM
A completely serious question.
When people, and businesses, and institutions with the resources and reputation to stand firm…don’t, where does that leave this country.
cc Paul, Weiss. And Columbia. And so many others
When people, and businesses, and institutions with the resources and reputation to stand firm…don’t, where does that leave this country.
cc Paul, Weiss. And Columbia. And so many others
Reposted by Ollie the Octopus
When I was a Hill staffer in 2009, a Dem trifecta was trying to pass universal healthcare. In response, Senate GOP released a memo detailing all of the tactics they in the minority could use to delay the effort as much as possible. I'm recirculating that 2009 GOP memo here. Take inspiration from it.
February 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
When I was a Hill staffer in 2009, a Dem trifecta was trying to pass universal healthcare. In response, Senate GOP released a memo detailing all of the tactics they in the minority could use to delay the effort as much as possible. I'm recirculating that 2009 GOP memo here. Take inspiration from it.
This octopus is a big fan of the @dropouttv.bsky.social gang, my favorite parasocial relationships. Congrats on selling out Madison Square Garden! What an odd and hilarious thing, occasionally this decade isn't a nightmare.
January 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
This octopus is a big fan of the @dropouttv.bsky.social gang, my favorite parasocial relationships. Congrats on selling out Madison Square Garden! What an odd and hilarious thing, occasionally this decade isn't a nightmare.
Anyone else way more bothered by TikTok being cozy with Trump than they were by TikTok being connected to China?
January 20, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Anyone else way more bothered by TikTok being cozy with Trump than they were by TikTok being connected to China?
Given that Rumchata: Peppermint Bark is 14% ABV, it is therefore morally equivalent to drinking a classy red wine.
January 11, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Given that Rumchata: Peppermint Bark is 14% ABV, it is therefore morally equivalent to drinking a classy red wine.
I dunno what AI is actually gonna be good for, but apparently the total mass of the birds given in the 12 Days of Christmas is approximately 600 kg.
January 3, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I dunno what AI is actually gonna be good for, but apparently the total mass of the birds given in the 12 Days of Christmas is approximately 600 kg.
Do the Baltimore dirt bike people have a secret training ground where they learn how to wheelie? They always seem so good at it
January 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Do the Baltimore dirt bike people have a secret training ground where they learn how to wheelie? They always seem so good at it
But, like, in what meaningful sense was Saruman ever the "head of the order"? He let Radagast go hermit and the blue wizards wandered off before the story even starts. Two functional wizards is not an "order." Did Saruman organize the Istari bridge club back on Valinor or something?
November 23, 2024 at 7:53 PM
But, like, in what meaningful sense was Saruman ever the "head of the order"? He let Radagast go hermit and the blue wizards wandered off before the story even starts. Two functional wizards is not an "order." Did Saruman organize the Istari bridge club back on Valinor or something?
Reposted by Ollie the Octopus
Reposted by Ollie the Octopus
Firefly squids (Watasenia scintillans) are known for their absolutely stunning bioluminescence. Their bodies are covered with blue and green chromatophores.
Unlike most cephalopods, firefly squids can see in colour. They have three different cones just for blue light.
#SQUIDtember
Unlike most cephalopods, firefly squids can see in colour. They have three different cones just for blue light.
#SQUIDtember
September 15, 2024 at 1:08 AM
Firefly squids (Watasenia scintillans) are known for their absolutely stunning bioluminescence. Their bodies are covered with blue and green chromatophores.
Unlike most cephalopods, firefly squids can see in colour. They have three different cones just for blue light.
#SQUIDtember
Unlike most cephalopods, firefly squids can see in colour. They have three different cones just for blue light.
#SQUIDtember
Just hypnotized a group of 5th graders to get them to sleep, dropped a jar of cardamom, punched myself in the genitals, and poured myself a glass of ham brandy as a nightcap. What, you expected me to do normal human things?
September 14, 2024 at 5:21 AM
Just hypnotized a group of 5th graders to get them to sleep, dropped a jar of cardamom, punched myself in the genitals, and poured myself a glass of ham brandy as a nightcap. What, you expected me to do normal human things?
So, humans, is running on a treadmill the athletic equivalent of running actual distance? Or is it more like a way to attach numbers to jumping up and down for a long time?
September 7, 2024 at 7:58 PM
So, humans, is running on a treadmill the athletic equivalent of running actual distance? Or is it more like a way to attach numbers to jumping up and down for a long time?
This keyboard might be the biggest flex I've ever seen in gaming
July 22, 2024 at 5:57 PM
This keyboard might be the biggest flex I've ever seen in gaming
I may not be able to summon optimism about the future of our democracy, but I can still overeat and set things on fire
July 4, 2024 at 10:17 PM
I may not be able to summon optimism about the future of our democracy, but I can still overeat and set things on fire
Sooo... Do you humans, like, know that a lot of you smell like ham a lot? Even the vegetarians? Just wondering, no hate here.
June 17, 2024 at 1:26 AM
Sooo... Do you humans, like, know that a lot of you smell like ham a lot? Even the vegetarians? Just wondering, no hate here.
Reposted by Ollie the Octopus
I just spend two amazing days bumming around Roman ruins in the south of Italy, so my contributions to #CephalopodWeek are these two absolutely stunning more-than two-thousand-year-old mosaics from the apodyterium (changing room) of the women’s baths at Herculaneum
June 16, 2024 at 6:41 PM
I just spend two amazing days bumming around Roman ruins in the south of Italy, so my contributions to #CephalopodWeek are these two absolutely stunning more-than two-thousand-year-old mosaics from the apodyterium (changing room) of the women’s baths at Herculaneum
I'm just sayin, as a cephalopod. Cats are mammals, and I would pay top dollar to try cheese made from cat milk.
April 15, 2024 at 6:51 PM
I'm just sayin, as a cephalopod. Cats are mammals, and I would pay top dollar to try cheese made from cat milk.
Cool, the US is gonna build rail transit on THE MOON but we still can't have our streetcars back here on Earth
March 24, 2024 at 4:41 PM
Cool, the US is gonna build rail transit on THE MOON but we still can't have our streetcars back here on Earth
Has anyone tried making a xylophone out of bones, like in the cartoons but for real?
March 13, 2024 at 10:36 PM
Has anyone tried making a xylophone out of bones, like in the cartoons but for real?
Blue Beetle. Sigh. Will they soon learn that there is so much more to superhero stories than hero vs evil version of the hero? The cast, the look, even the dialogue, so many pieces were so good! But that central conflict ... we've covered that ground. Go explore!
February 26, 2024 at 1:47 AM
Blue Beetle. Sigh. Will they soon learn that there is so much more to superhero stories than hero vs evil version of the hero? The cast, the look, even the dialogue, so many pieces were so good! But that central conflict ... we've covered that ground. Go explore!
I love the Matrix, but 1990's Total Recall is a more nuanced exploration of the theory that we live in a simulation. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
February 12, 2024 at 11:27 PM
I love the Matrix, but 1990's Total Recall is a more nuanced exploration of the theory that we live in a simulation. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Chickens be jealous of me tonight
February 11, 2024 at 11:45 PM
Chickens be jealous of me tonight