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octoberscream.bsky.social
October Scream
@octoberscream.bsky.social
180 followers 1.2K following 340 posts
Big cat that gets bigger

Pfp by @seethiur.art

27/Genderfluid(He/They)/🔞 18+ ONLY

♥️ @itscrush.bsky.social

☕ https://ko-fi.com/octoberscream
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octoberscream.bsky.social
October Scream @octoberscream.bsky.social · 14d
I feel like I have to lay all this out here after the last couple of days. Whether others saw my spiral live or not, it still left me feeling like there was shit I never said. (1/2)
When you're autistic and have severe social anxiety it can be difficult to know how to talk with people. When your interpretations of how to act around people are all based around past trauma it can only hurt yourself more than when the original incident(s) occured. For the last four days I had been waking up feeling empty inside. When I did feel emotions it was only negativity. I cried 3-6 times per day. Despite finally finishing trade school, despite getting help to come up and see my family and friends for Christmas, everything that I had succeeded with in the past, it all just didn't matter anymore. I had disabled my FA and Bsky accounts. I unfriended people and left a lot of servers on Discord. Not only did I feel like nothing mattered anymore, I felt that I didn't matter to anyone else. For the last year I have felt like I had nothing I can bring anymore. It felt as if no one wanted to see me on VRChat. Not only that - my friends were all splitting into different servers, some friends have decided that I'm too much baggage and left me alone, and I've felt a massive disconnection from the furry community due to not being able to afford comms. The stress of real life made it hard to want to go online and see others showing off all the things they've gotten when I'm barely scraping money for essentials. There were a lot of moments I just couldn't feel anything when someone showed off yet another commission, I even grew envious of the gift art and comms my boyfriend was receiving. I didn't have many friends that I felt I could talk to because some of them were asking to be left alone while dealing with their own shit or just as much of an emotional wreck as I am. I started trying to deal with issues myself, hoping I could become better for others. All the while I was unaware of how much every little thing would start to hurt me after doing that. Before I had my boyfriend to help me collect my thoughts, for the last decade I've tried my hardest to keep myself happy. My family didn't really ever know what I did online outside of rhythm games and FGC. Before I attempted college I did not have many peers to go to anymore due to finishing high school online pre-Zoom/COVID era. There were many downs before then from Kindergarten all the way up until I started to attend community college; from teachers refusing to follow education assistance plans causing me to swap elementary schools each grade to being called homosexual derogatories by people I once saw as friends. Past college I had to deal with harassment from artists, cheating cliques at out-of-state FGC tournaments, and other community bullies wherever I was. Every time it felt like me vs the world as I would have to take the blows at face value with what little social understanding I had. Every bad social interaction where I had to defend myself shaped how I would handle every negative interaction in the future; if I was being harassed or attacked I had to fight by myself while the others had peers backing them up. The past two months have only been one chapter of this horrendous year. Right after I had spent weeks recovering post-op and feeling closer to being fully self-capable my shoulder had decided to spasm. I was back to being incapable but this time down my dominant arm. I was previously looking forward to getting to play games with friends again because I couldn't comfortably sit down at my desk for long due to the surgery, but after the shoulder pain started those thoughts quickly faded away and instantly got covered in despair. I was so close to being ready to do something again and now I couldn't do even more of the things I liked. I didn't feel like I could reach out to my friends and just chat with them because for the last five years I've led myself to believe that I have to be happy before I'm allowed to be around my friends. I didn't want to step on people's toes for "being too sad" yet again. I didn't want to bring up my own issues with friends or peers because I didn't want to scare away what little I had left. Before I even had my surgery scheduled I was still living with the anxiety and sadness of not feeling like I can start a conversation anymore, or ask someone if they would just want to hangout and vibe. I was led to believe that I didn't deserve their time because my negativity was radiating even when I wasn't venting. I tried talking inside servers again after my surgery, I also tried talking with friends again over DMs, but nothing I did felt right. It felt like the responses I would receive back were being reduced. I would be trying to do my own thing while I waited, but my anxiety would take over and I would just wonder when someone would reply back or send anything but porn. It became wondering when someone would come and check on me as the weeks without messages turned into a month, then months. I was asking myself what people saw in me; what do I bring to friendships; how can I get the confidence to keep giving and receiving nothing back? It became a mountain of envy and jealousy as I saw friends and peers doing things with each other still or talking with my boyfriend and leaving me aside while I rotted away in bed, growing further as I saw friends who once made excuses on why they can't hangout now have all the availability in the world for everyone else. What could I have even asked to do when I couldn't sit at my PC for more than 30 minutes or use my bad arm for anything? What do I have that I can discuss about that isn't just the world and others kicking dirt into my face? How do I make friends again?
Reposted by October Scream
robuttschei.bsky.social
whatever bloats your goat, man
December 19, 2025 at 5:02 PM
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gnowolfstyx.bsky.social
I'm giving out this star, so get it while you can folks
December 14, 2025 at 12:54 PM
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balloonedbird.bsky.social
“Nothing like a good puff to literally puff you up too!”
December 15, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Reposted by October Scream
gravityinbound.bsky.social
A fun little idea I had of drawing myself as a Magmar lady! I hope you like it~

#gravityinboundart #furry
Grav as a chubby Magmar lady, sporting a purple complexion with purple flames while wearing a black dress and boots. The tips of the mask are adorned with light blue flames too.
December 13, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Reposted by October Scream
baxterthehusky.tacobell.social
It's always incredibly depressing when I find out I've been blocked/unfollowed by members of this community. It makes me worry that I've done or said something wrong.

If I've done something bad or in poor taste, I would rather people be upfront with me! If I owe you something, please, let me know!
December 13, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Reposted by October Scream
pillowycat.bsky.social
massive object found floating in public airspace
December 8, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Reposted by October Scream
jalpunny.bsky.social
Martlet probably should've thought of a better solution to deal with all that champagne

amazing sketch done by @beeblimp.bsky.social!

coloring done by me
December 11, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Reposted by October Scream
wenisberry.bsky.social
Girl who knows what you're into
November 22, 2025 at 4:37 AM
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singulartesticle.bsky.social
cuhmission for @bxnusducks.bsky.social
November 25, 2025 at 5:32 PM
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bootfromtv.bsky.social
Qweave has an uh, particular use for me lately. I think im doing a pretty good job
Boot the Goat/Bat but he is extremely fat and round and sweaty and his wife is doi by whatever she wants with that
December 10, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Reposted by October Scream
androidpeach.bsky.social
Me: Boy this game is great I hope it doesn't ever make me so rock hard I get nauseous

Kirby Air Riders:
December 11, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Reposted by October Scream
roundcloud.bsky.social
Fanart :3
December 11, 2025 at 4:23 AM
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transsheep.bsky.social
Blown up and felt all over, what a lovely time for these boys to be having, No?
Comm for @rickhoosky.bsky.social ft. @redmaigc.bsky.social
two blimped up boys, ghost hands touching and messing with them
December 10, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Reposted by October Scream
transsheep.bsky.social
What do you do when you hate how smoke filled your office becomes, but can't stop smoking? Hire someone as a fulltime air recycler, Obviously!
Trade with @smellsnspells.bsky.social
Giant Lion blimp tethered to the ceiling, crocodile woman smoking a big cigar while commenting on his effectiveness
December 10, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Popping, Uber Inflation]
[C] Trunk Tactics [3/3]

A pile of scraps, and a victor!

Commission for Sickmidibrah on FA
December 9, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Uber Inflation]
[C] Trunk Tactics [2/3]

Creaking, creaking, louder and louder...

Commission for Sickmidibrah on FA
December 3, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Inflation]
[C] Trunk Tactics [1/3]

The folf has been caught, oh no!

Commission for Sickmidibrah on FA
November 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Eye Inflation]
Meowlleable Peepers

"Great, my eyes have been inflated into stretchy, squishy, squeezable, malleable blimps. Now what?"
November 22, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Head Inflation, Transformation]
[G] Bloonified

A style test to keep the creative juices (or helium in this case) flowing.

Giftie for my love @spezard.bsky.social
December 2, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Inflation, Transparency, Deflation]
[C] Air Leak [4/4]

:O

Commission for @pokoraccsnack.bsky.social
December 9, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Inflation, Transparency, Deflation]
[C] Air Leak [3/4]

The more he tries to waddle around the more air gets pushed out of Poko here.

Commission for @pokoraccsnack.bsky.social
December 9, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Inflation, Transparency, Deflation]
[C] Air Leak [2/4]

The consequences of actions he is not even responsible for.

Commission for @pokoraccsnack.bsky.social
December 9, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by October Scream
terrifictea.bsky.social
[Inflation, Transparency]
[C] Air Leak [1/4]

Poko has found himself in a rather embarrassing aerial predicament.

Commission for @pokoraccsnack.bsky.social
December 9, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Reposted by October Scream
castesystem.bsky.social
puffy vulpix instream for hunter!

see all my work early over at https://www.patreon.com/itscaste!
#CasteArt #Furry #Pokemon #Inflation
December 9, 2025 at 6:21 PM
octoberscream.bsky.social
Shiny haul from yesterday. I can finally die happy now that I've found some shiny Sprigatito TwT
December 7, 2025 at 6:56 PM