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WASHINGTON — As part of his alleged plan to find the cause and cure for autism, US Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has ordered the creation of a national registry of all Americans with autism as well as those that have played a Sonic the Hedgehog game.“For years, I’ve tried to warn people of the link between vaccines and autism, only to be dismissed by so-called ‘scientists,’” explained Kennedy in a recent press conference. “But in the process, I’ve neglected something only a fool could deny is connected to the recent autism epidemic: Sonic games. Ever since the Blue Blur made his debut in 1991, autism rates have skyrocketed, and countless of those poor, useless children claim to be fans of the series. I don’t know for a fact that Sonic games are the cause of autism, but give me enough personal information and I’ll know it in a few months.”Disability advocates, human rights organizations, and Sega shareholders have denounced Kennedy’s plan as the beginning of a sinister eugenicist plot, though the Trump administration insists it’s all purely in the interest of national health.“Any rumors you’ve heard of this being a pretext to send innocent American citizens to concentration camps is simply absurd,” said NIH director Jay Bhattacharya. “We already know how to do that without autism, why make up a reason...Full story at hard-drive.net

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