Mr. Big Penis.
@mrbigpenis.bsky.social
Hi, I'm Mr. Big Penis. You'll never guess what I've got in my pants.
Asexual deviant, freelance masturbauteur, linguist.
The cat is named Fulgora.
If you're from Michigan please don't be.
Do not expect many commas.
He/him/The/it.
🔞.
Asexual deviant, freelance masturbauteur, linguist.
The cat is named Fulgora.
If you're from Michigan please don't be.
Do not expect many commas.
He/him/The/it.
🔞.
Pinned
"Ladies and gentlemen this is Mambo No. 6
One two three four five six..."
.
One two three four five six..."
.
November 22, 2025 at 11:04 PM
"Ladies and gentlemen this is Mambo No. 6
One two three four five six..."
.
One two three four five six..."
.
Imagine how many ai-generated "climate change is fake look at all this snow" posts there are gonna be this winter.
November 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Imagine how many ai-generated "climate change is fake look at all this snow" posts there are gonna be this winter.
Ohio's getting the jumpstart on robot racism and I have mixed feelings.
November 20, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Ohio's getting the jumpstart on robot racism and I have mixed feelings.
Can't wait for the T-Mobile add where John C. McGinley shows up and calls them a homophobic slur.
November 20, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Can't wait for the T-Mobile add where John C. McGinley shows up and calls them a homophobic slur.
Misery is a
butterfly or whatever
my penis is huge.
butterfly or whatever
my penis is huge.
November 19, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Misery is a
butterfly or whatever
my penis is huge.
butterfly or whatever
my penis is huge.
LED headlights
like daggers in the dark night
stab my fucking eyes.
like daggers in the dark night
stab my fucking eyes.
November 19, 2025 at 3:35 AM
LED headlights
like daggers in the dark night
stab my fucking eyes.
like daggers in the dark night
stab my fucking eyes.
The problem with releasing the files now is that by now they've surely been sufficiently doctored and all the idiots will just lap it up and think they were right. Not a single thing they could release will ever convince me he wasn't a participant but they will probably convince the general public.
November 19, 2025 at 1:10 AM
The problem with releasing the files now is that by now they've surely been sufficiently doctored and all the idiots will just lap it up and think they were right. Not a single thing they could release will ever convince me he wasn't a participant but they will probably convince the general public.
Cuddling my cat is great and all but she does also like to crawl around in the forbidden realm behind the toilet so maybe I should be a bit more cautious about that.
November 17, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Cuddling my cat is great and all but she does also like to crawl around in the forbidden realm behind the toilet so maybe I should be a bit more cautious about that.
I have a sore throat the last time I had a sore throat it was COVID and it sucked major donkey balls I really hope it isn't COVID again because I don't think that will go very well with all the presentations and such I have to do in the next few weeks and also then I won't be able to visit my folks.
November 17, 2025 at 4:34 AM
I have a sore throat the last time I had a sore throat it was COVID and it sucked major donkey balls I really hope it isn't COVID again because I don't think that will go very well with all the presentations and such I have to do in the next few weeks and also then I won't be able to visit my folks.
Stalemate when the opponent is sans-material is bs. "Oh but you have to earn the checkmate" fuck you I earned it by killing all their guys I just want to bully them to avenge my fallen soldiers is that too much to ask?
November 17, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Stalemate when the opponent is sans-material is bs. "Oh but you have to earn the checkmate" fuck you I earned it by killing all their guys I just want to bully them to avenge my fallen soldiers is that too much to ask?
Those boots were NOT made for walking boots don't walk legs do boots just protect the leg ends.
November 17, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Those boots were NOT made for walking boots don't walk legs do boots just protect the leg ends.
I very rarely remember anything from my dreams but I believe that recently I've been haunted by a millipede.
November 16, 2025 at 5:59 PM
I very rarely remember anything from my dreams but I believe that recently I've been haunted by a millipede.
What if instead of "Oh Comely" it was called "Oh Chumlee" and it was about that guy from Pawn Stars?
November 15, 2025 at 9:20 AM
What if instead of "Oh Comely" it was called "Oh Chumlee" and it was about that guy from Pawn Stars?
New Steam Controller? Gonna cum?
November 13, 2025 at 4:48 PM
New Steam Controller? Gonna cum?
Gonna go get top surgery at Harvard call that a Ph double D.
November 11, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Gonna go get top surgery at Harvard call that a Ph double D.
It's crazy how we wouldn't even be in this mess if we just made the sensible decision to kill all the old people.
November 10, 2025 at 3:18 PM
It's crazy how we wouldn't even be in this mess if we just made the sensible decision to kill all the old people.
Why vote for these useless fucks when we can just kill people with rocks? The cavemen really had life all figured out.
November 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Why vote for these useless fucks when we can just kill people with rocks? The cavemen really had life all figured out.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
November 10, 2025 at 5:43 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Every time I go in a public restroom I gotta put up one of them "being cleaned do not enter" signs so that I don't accidentally fatally mog anyone at the urinals.
November 9, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Every time I go in a public restroom I gotta put up one of them "being cleaned do not enter" signs so that I don't accidentally fatally mog anyone at the urinals.
Reposted by Mr. Big Penis.
the suicide vest stays on during sex
November 7, 2025 at 8:04 PM
the suicide vest stays on during sex
Slack your rope hangman you'll need a bigger loop to fit my big penis through.
November 9, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Slack your rope hangman you'll need a bigger loop to fit my big penis through.
I've started writing haikus here's my first one I hope you like it:
Cat sits by window
Watches the leaves falling down
My penis is huge.
Cat sits by window
Watches the leaves falling down
My penis is huge.
November 8, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I've started writing haikus here's my first one I hope you like it:
Cat sits by window
Watches the leaves falling down
My penis is huge.
Cat sits by window
Watches the leaves falling down
My penis is huge.
Sucks that Halloween is over so quickly I wish it was socially acceptable to go around in a spooky black cloak and menace passers-by year round.
November 7, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Sucks that Halloween is over so quickly I wish it was socially acceptable to go around in a spooky black cloak and menace passers-by year round.
Reposted by Mr. Big Penis.
im gay in ways that would have scientists ripping their glasses off their face in horror to mutter "my God" under their breath
November 7, 2025 at 4:19 PM
im gay in ways that would have scientists ripping their glasses off their face in horror to mutter "my God" under their breath