Alicia Keys
@missdemeanor.bsky.social
I bring a certain sadness to the conga line
Unfortunately giving Tuesday is my reminder to unsubscribe to spam emails
December 2, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Unfortunately giving Tuesday is my reminder to unsubscribe to spam emails
How many turkey dogs would you say you eat in a day, Timmy?
November 29, 2025 at 4:52 AM
How many turkey dogs would you say you eat in a day, Timmy?
What I like about mens skateboarding is when sometimes you can see their little buns
November 29, 2025 at 4:37 AM
What I like about mens skateboarding is when sometimes you can see their little buns
You're never too old to get a DUI in mom's car
November 29, 2025 at 4:30 AM
You're never too old to get a DUI in mom's car
Reposted by Alicia Keys
hacking furiously at the invasive bamboo that is my social media feed, knowing that the shoots of unwanted information will only return
November 18, 2025 at 2:37 AM
hacking furiously at the invasive bamboo that is my social media feed, knowing that the shoots of unwanted information will only return
I strongly disagree with the take that Paddington 2 is goated and I feel like the zoomers are pranking me
November 18, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I strongly disagree with the take that Paddington 2 is goated and I feel like the zoomers are pranking me
Make blowjobs great again
November 15, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Make blowjobs great again
Reposted by Alicia Keys
Bach, you have to stop. Your clavier is too well-tempered. Your concertos too Brandenburg. They’ll kill you
November 14, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Bach, you have to stop. Your clavier is too well-tempered. Your concertos too Brandenburg. They’ll kill you
Reposted by Alicia Keys
seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email
November 13, 2025 at 4:08 AM
seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email
Life is good when the Ween cover band DM's you to let you know they're playing a show.
November 5, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Life is good when the Ween cover band DM's you to let you know they're playing a show.
Reposted by Alicia Keys
But far beneath this wondrous world upon the surface, another and still stranger world met our eyes as we gazed over the side.
September 18, 2025 at 4:47 PM
But far beneath this wondrous world upon the surface, another and still stranger world met our eyes as we gazed over the side.
Blippi gives me the chills
September 11, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Blippi gives me the chills
Reposted by Alicia Keys
(bene gesserit voice) put more sauce packets in the bag
September 4, 2025 at 4:53 PM
(bene gesserit voice) put more sauce packets in the bag
Fuck all of you for getting my hopes up after a very stressful week. Let me know when it does happen.
August 30, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Fuck all of you for getting my hopes up after a very stressful week. Let me know when it does happen.
Sorry babe, Harry Nilsson stays on during sex 🎵🎶
August 28, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Sorry babe, Harry Nilsson stays on during sex 🎵🎶
If Rosie O'Donnell can tweet on Ambien, I can send emails on salvia.
August 22, 2025 at 11:36 PM
If Rosie O'Donnell can tweet on Ambien, I can send emails on salvia.
Reposted by Alicia Keys
I need beans and I need weed. Everything else is epiphenomenal
August 21, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I need beans and I need weed. Everything else is epiphenomenal
Resisting the urge to take a nap in the bathroom stall
August 21, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Resisting the urge to take a nap in the bathroom stall
No, I will not go to Costco sober
August 20, 2025 at 2:40 AM
No, I will not go to Costco sober
Can't listen to Moby Dick on tape anymore since I threw up after trying trying to fall asleep to it while drunk.
August 19, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Can't listen to Moby Dick on tape anymore since I threw up after trying trying to fall asleep to it while drunk.
Passively expecting my good behaviors to take over any day now
August 12, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Passively expecting my good behaviors to take over any day now
The War on Drugs, but (in Emerill Lagasse voice), let's kick it up a notch.
August 8, 2025 at 1:59 PM
The War on Drugs, but (in Emerill Lagasse voice), let's kick it up a notch.
Reposted by Alicia Keys
if bagels can have everything so can i
August 7, 2025 at 11:57 AM
if bagels can have everything so can i
The Georgia Straight is a treasure
August 7, 2025 at 5:44 PM
The Georgia Straight is a treasure