Matty Breeze
@mattybreeze1984.bsky.social
Just your average, 40-year-old man with a favorite dinosaur.
shop.figurecollections.com
shop.figurecollections.com
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Matty Breeze
@mattybreeze1984.bsky.social
· Nov 23
FUN FACT ABOUT ME:
I’m independently wealthy because my Dad created all of the fake meat for the original Super Market Sweep.
I’m independently wealthy because my Dad created all of the fake meat for the original Super Market Sweep.
I’m trying to compose a joke about shaving Schrodinger’s cat with Occam’s razor, but I can’t tell if it’s funny or not.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
November 13, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I’m trying to compose a joke about shaving Schrodinger’s cat with Occam’s razor, but I can’t tell if it’s funny or not.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
Dreamt that I was invited to be on @cbbworld.bsky.social as a representative of @figurecollections.bsky.social, and immediately hit the mic with my mouth, causing a loud screeching noise, breaking the mic, and causing the whole show to stop-down.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
November 12, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Dreamt that I was invited to be on @cbbworld.bsky.social as a representative of @figurecollections.bsky.social, and immediately hit the mic with my mouth, causing a loud screeching noise, breaking the mic, and causing the whole show to stop-down.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
The LA County Coroner has confirmed that legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s cause of death was an acute case of being Ace Frehley.
November 11, 2025 at 6:32 PM
The LA County Coroner has confirmed that legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s cause of death was an acute case of being Ace Frehley.
BREAKING NEWS: Production of Christy VS The Smashing Machine has been halted for unknown reasons.
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Production of Christy VS The Smashing Machine has been halted for unknown reasons.
I was mere milliseconds away from googling who on Earth Dominic Purcell could have played on the early 90’s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John.
On this week’s SCOTT HASNT SEEN, we watch BLADE: TRINITY, the third entry in the franchise starring Wesley Snipes as the Marvel superhero!
Joining us is @kibblesmith.com, comedian, author, and the writer behind many great comic books!
Available exclusively at @cbbworld.bsky.social!
Joining us is @kibblesmith.com, comedian, author, and the writer behind many great comic books!
Available exclusively at @cbbworld.bsky.social!
November 10, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I was mere milliseconds away from googling who on Earth Dominic Purcell could have played on the early 90’s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John.
I don’t mind stand-ups who host #SNL just doing material for their monologue, but they’ve got to figure out a better way to transition out of it.
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
November 9, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I don’t mind stand-ups who host #SNL just doing material for their monologue, but they’ve got to figure out a better way to transition out of it.
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
Having previously played Elvis, and now Frankenstein’s Monster, Jacob Elordi is just a Santa Claus away from playing the holy trinity of starring roles.
November 9, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Having previously played Elvis, and now Frankenstein’s Monster, Jacob Elordi is just a Santa Claus away from playing the holy trinity of starring roles.
I was home sick yesterday, so I’m back on the B.R.A.T. diet.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
November 7, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I was home sick yesterday, so I’m back on the B.R.A.T. diet.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
@preternia.com, got a shipping update from Amazon you might be interested in.
November 7, 2025 at 4:03 PM
@preternia.com, got a shipping update from Amazon you might be interested in.
Did they remember to remove the perforated pin-feed holes?
November 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Did they remember to remove the perforated pin-feed holes?
November 5, 2025 at 2:50 PM
TARDIS SIGHTING!!!
November 4, 2025 at 6:27 PM
TARDIS SIGHTING!!!
Alright, on the count of three everyone do the joke. 1,2,3,…
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
November 4, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Alright, on the count of three everyone do the joke. 1,2,3,…
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
My dearest ladies, and most esteemed of gentlemen, I’ve gathered you all here tonight because it would seem as if a Blippi has been moidered!
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
My dearest ladies, and most esteemed of gentlemen, I’ve gathered you all here tonight because it would seem as if a Blippi has been moidered!
Rewatching Jurassic Whatever 7 and the first audible line is “How many times are we going to keep doing this?”
My thoughts exactly.
My thoughts exactly.
November 2, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Rewatching Jurassic Whatever 7 and the first audible line is “How many times are we going to keep doing this?”
My thoughts exactly.
My thoughts exactly.
I have three words for you children.
Fun.
Sized.
Bars.
Fun.
Sized.
Bars.
November 1, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I have three words for you children.
Fun.
Sized.
Bars.
Fun.
Sized.
Bars.
To appease their most racist of fans, the NFL has announced a separate Super Bowl themed concert headlined by famous American Rock Star…{CHECKS NOTES}…Gordon Sumner.
October 30, 2025 at 3:22 PM
To appease their most racist of fans, the NFL has announced a separate Super Bowl themed concert headlined by famous American Rock Star…{CHECKS NOTES}…Gordon Sumner.
So is June Diane Raphael playing Avar Kriss in the High Republic now? @paulscheer.com
October 27, 2025 at 4:13 AM
So is June Diane Raphael playing Avar Kriss in the High Republic now? @paulscheer.com
Had the pleasure of meeting Lou Wagner (Lucius from Planet of the Apes) and John Kassir (Shemp from The Three Stooges) last weekend at #HalloweenXspo.
October 26, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Had the pleasure of meeting Lou Wagner (Lucius from Planet of the Apes) and John Kassir (Shemp from The Three Stooges) last weekend at #HalloweenXspo.
Next round’s on me, lads!
October 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Next round’s on me, lads!
HOLLYWOOD GOOFS: in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002) the characters Jar Jar Binks and Padme Amidala both recognize Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999), despite the fact that he had been re-cast from Jake Lloyd to Hayden Christensen between films.
October 23, 2025 at 4:38 PM
HOLLYWOOD GOOFS: in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002) the characters Jar Jar Binks and Padme Amidala both recognize Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999), despite the fact that he had been re-cast from Jake Lloyd to Hayden Christensen between films.
For the record, I would also like $230 million from the Department of Justice.
October 22, 2025 at 3:29 PM
For the record, I would also like $230 million from the Department of Justice.
I just want it to be noted here that I was in EARLY on Capybaras.
October 22, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I just want it to be noted here that I was in EARLY on Capybaras.
Who did it better?
October 21, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Who did it better?