Malcolm Schmitz
banner
malcolmschmitz.bsky.social
Malcolm Schmitz
@malcolmschmitz.bsky.social
Author, artist, game dev. Querying middle grade trans thieves; writing adult short fic about lacemaking orcs, nebbish unicorns, trans sky captains, and more. Half of VaporwaveGothic Studios; worked with Black Chicken Studios and small indie teams.
Pinned
Hello, friends! I write a series of short stories called THE MISADVENTURES OF SAWBONES AND ITS MENAGERIE, about a grumpy plague-masked veterinarian and the magical creatures it helps. One part James Herriot, one part Dungeon Meshi, one part Murderbot.

Get them here:

www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPX6NHS8
The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie
Visit Amazon's The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie Page and shop for all The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie
www.amazon.com
www.iwm.org.uk/collections/... Another resource I found today that is incredibly useful for anyone writing about the World Wars: the Imperial War Museum has a huge, publically-searchable archive of photographs, writing, and *film*.
If you want visceral detail, you will find at least some here.
November 11, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I am reaching the very end of the chapter, and am pleased to inform you all the 'tea flavour selection' subroutine is ~400 words.
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Anyway, I'm just about done with Chapter 2, and half of the wordcount on this thing is a) your childhood friend's pronoun options and b) your ability to choose your favourite beverage and whether you want milk/sugar/lemon in your tea.

Which is on brand, for me.
November 11, 2025 at 1:22 AM
PSA for anyone who is having to research How To Alcohol- Wikipedia and WikiHow are your friends.
WikiHow is actually a weirdly good source for this. They have articles on how to drink most kinds of alcohol (as well as how to make Monster Energy cupcakes???)
November 11, 2025 at 1:18 AM
One of the funniest things about writing a game set in High Society in the 1920s is that a) everyone drinks like a fish and b) I'm a teetotaler.

I'm frantically googling things like "WHAT TEMPERATURE DO YOU SERVE SHERRY AT" and "HOW TO DRINK BRANDY???"
November 11, 2025 at 12:30 AM
So I'm still wrangling with the gender/pronoun systems in Bright Young Things.

One of my love interests can use any of seven different pronouns and four different names. (You can set all of your love interests to be NB; the game randomizes between pronouns.)

My word count is rapidly increasing.
November 10, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz
Hey all you gamers claiming to "want shorter games made by fewer people who are paid more to work less" here's your chance to put your $15 where your mouth is: a spooky & elegiac exploration game made by ex-Bethesda & Ubi devs. It's excellent. Buy it & prove there's a market for games like this!
November 10, 2025 at 7:19 PM
New selling point* for Bright Young Things, my Wodehouse Meets Watchmen IF game:
You can be a member of the Diogenes Club, the Drones Club, the Bellona Club, or the Egotists Club. (As well as several new gentleperson's clubs.)

*Implementation skills permitting.
November 10, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Coming up on the end of Chapter 2 of Bright Young Things!

In this chapter, you pick a favourite drink, meet an old friend, and deal with that classic antagonist of 1920s fiction: HORRID RELATIVES.
November 9, 2025 at 12:38 AM
If you're writing any historical fiction set in the UK in the first half of the 20th century, I can't recommend www.1900s.org.uk enough.

It's run by a retired academic who's trying to archive what life was like then for normal people, and it's got all kinds of little details you'd never make up.
Join me in the 1900s: a social history of everyday life
Explore everyday life, early-mid 20th century UK: what ordinary people experienced and felt, with firsthand inputs and supporting research
www.1900s.org.uk
November 8, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I'm going to invent a new neopronoun that doesn't conjugate like 'he/she' JUST so that the coding work I did for Bright Young Things' pronouns feels justified.

There is exactly one gender-neutral singular pronoun that doesn't conjugate like 'he/she' does... and it's the only one I can't leave out.
November 8, 2025 at 8:43 PM
...I wonder if the reason the ADHD rates have, seemingly, gone up is that within about two lifetimes we've gone from "anyone who can afford it has a full-time disability aide" to "only very rich people have an assistant, and only the turbo-rich have an assistant who helps them outside of work."
November 6, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Hello, friends! I write a series of short stories called THE MISADVENTURES OF SAWBONES AND ITS MENAGERIE, about a grumpy plague-masked veterinarian and the magical creatures it helps. One part James Herriot, one part Dungeon Meshi, one part Murderbot.

Get them here:

www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPX6NHS8
The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie
Visit Amazon's The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie Page and shop for all The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie
www.amazon.com
September 3, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I love medieval fantasy (heck, I'm writing some), but I hate how much medieval fantasy has polluted the Google search results for anything related to the middle ages.

This is what I get when I search for "water mill gate medieval":
September 1, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I finally fixed the cover for The Unicorn's Beard!

I was never satisfied with it- I got a cover off Fiverr and got exactly what I asked for, unfortunately. But I've leveled up my graphic design skills a few times (thanks, Sims) and can make my own covers, now!
August 19, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Just read Stardust Family by @porochan.bsky.social - it's an incredibly haunting short manga about a world where people have to be vetted before they can raise children, and about the inspectors who vet them. It's really good and I'm keeping an eye on the 'horror one-shot' they're teasing.
August 10, 2025 at 6:37 AM
Went to see Shakespeare in the Park last weekend. Going again tomorrow. If you're in greater CLE, highly recommend this take on the Scottish Play!!
July 31, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz
really good write-up of this whole situation with payment processors enabling right-wing censorship of adult games www.pcgamer.com/gaming-indus...
Visa and Mastercard pressuring Itch.io and Valve does 'nothing to protect' women, and shock games will just be 'side-stepping the ban entirely', say affected indie devs
"Cutting these women off from income streams and audiences does nothing to 'protect' them."
www.pcgamer.com
July 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz
There are no - absolutely zero - “legitimate” concerns about trans people in any context. THAT is the only correct answer. The entire trans panic is made-up garbage. THAT is the only thing Democrats should be pushing. Anything less is unacceptable.
July 28, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Called Mastercard today.

An injury to one is an injury to all, and all that.
July 28, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Oh ewwwwwwwww, I added a bunch of jazz standards to my playlist for Bright Young Things, and uh...
Today I learnt that there's a reason of "Let's Fall In Love" that's incredibly, horrifically racist! O_e
July 26, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Sometimes when you're writing, you've got an assumption that you've never bothered to check, because why would you. Totally benign assumption- totally wrong.

For me, lately, that's been "animal transformations are one of the, like, default generic superpowers, right?"
July 25, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Oh boy. I just finished The Dispossessed and I am having Complicated Feelings about it.

.... Mostly because this is a story about a State versus a cult.
July 22, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Time for the newest meme! One like, one non-political opinion.
July 21, 2025 at 4:58 PM
@amaditalks.bsky.social If you want to chat about mysteries, I'm game!

I'm usually a cozy mystery kind of dude, but I've been reading a lot of Japanese honhaku-ha mysteries lately and they're an absolutely fascinating blend of Golden Age detective fiction and Gothic horror.
July 21, 2025 at 1:31 PM