Chris is not actually a robot
@literallyarobot.bsky.social
Alleged Internet funny man. I'm legally not allowed to say this: he/him
All that bruising and bad hand makeup is where Trump has been having to cover up his MS-13 tattoo
August 26, 2025 at 4:06 AM
All that bruising and bad hand makeup is where Trump has been having to cover up his MS-13 tattoo
People will play Pokemon and then not believe in evolution
August 24, 2025 at 2:05 PM
People will play Pokemon and then not believe in evolution
Please never ask me to normalize anything I don't know how
August 20, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Please never ask me to normalize anything I don't know how
Tifa will always be my #1 bad bitch because in a game where you were fighting monsters and demigods she was like I'm just gonna try punching it in the mouth
August 15, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Tifa will always be my #1 bad bitch because in a game where you were fighting monsters and demigods she was like I'm just gonna try punching it in the mouth
"Superman is woke now" yeah a two hour feature film where Superman just flies around picking up Mexicans and putting them in American Auschwitz would fucking suck ass lmao
August 8, 2025 at 12:21 PM
"Superman is woke now" yeah a two hour feature film where Superman just flies around picking up Mexicans and putting them in American Auschwitz would fucking suck ass lmao
People really just don't have the hubris to challenge the gods like they used to
June 29, 2025 at 5:17 PM
People really just don't have the hubris to challenge the gods like they used to
Going outside like damn this is really what it feels like when the wizard doesn't ask how big the room is huh
June 26, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Going outside like damn this is really what it feels like when the wizard doesn't ask how big the room is huh
"So anyway a Jedi could never be constipated right because they could always use the Force to just open things up down there."
Uber driver: "we've been at your destination for 15 minutes please get out"
Uber driver: "we've been at your destination for 15 minutes please get out"
June 23, 2025 at 1:38 PM
"So anyway a Jedi could never be constipated right because they could always use the Force to just open things up down there."
Uber driver: "we've been at your destination for 15 minutes please get out"
Uber driver: "we've been at your destination for 15 minutes please get out"
Hotel room thermostat set to 71: sweltering, humid, like eating Swamp Thing's ass
Hotel room thermostat set to 70: frostbite, instantly
Hotel room thermostat set to 70: frostbite, instantly
June 21, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Hotel room thermostat set to 71: sweltering, humid, like eating Swamp Thing's ass
Hotel room thermostat set to 70: frostbite, instantly
Hotel room thermostat set to 70: frostbite, instantly
Zoomers will never understand how cathartic it was before cell phones and you could just slam the phone down to angrily hang up on someone
June 18, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Zoomers will never understand how cathartic it was before cell phones and you could just slam the phone down to angrily hang up on someone
If I was a noodle I like to think I'd be one of the fancier more sophisticated noodles like a fusilli or something but deep down I know I'm just a spaghetti
June 15, 2025 at 11:13 PM
If I was a noodle I like to think I'd be one of the fancier more sophisticated noodles like a fusilli or something but deep down I know I'm just a spaghetti
Ask not for whom the Baja Blasts
June 15, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Ask not for whom the Baja Blasts
ACAB includes Scruff McGruff
June 10, 2025 at 2:08 PM
ACAB includes Scruff McGruff
Reposted by Chris is not actually a robot
Death is one of the 7 or 8 worst things that could happen to a person
June 8, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Death is one of the 7 or 8 worst things that could happen to a person
If Trump and Elon couldn't make it work what chance do any of us have 💔
June 6, 2025 at 1:50 PM
If Trump and Elon couldn't make it work what chance do any of us have 💔
RFK Jr taking the vaccines from your body and replacing it with beef tallow:
May 28, 2025 at 4:02 PM
RFK Jr taking the vaccines from your body and replacing it with beef tallow:
"Consumer confidence is at an all time low" is literally just "the vibes are off" for economists
May 2, 2025 at 11:00 PM
"Consumer confidence is at an all time low" is literally just "the vibes are off" for economists
Actually that guy really did have MS-13 tattooed on his knuckles he just had them tattoo it so it looked like Photoshop, IDIOT
May 1, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Actually that guy really did have MS-13 tattooed on his knuckles he just had them tattoo it so it looked like Photoshop, IDIOT
The food court really is the greatest loss that online shopping took from us
April 30, 2025 at 3:36 AM
The food court really is the greatest loss that online shopping took from us
It's so odd that "vote for me, I love the guy threatening to financial devastate or perform a military invasion of our country (which I am trying to become in charge of), god bless America" wasn't a winning message in Canada, they truly are strange people.
April 29, 2025 at 2:50 PM
It's so odd that "vote for me, I love the guy threatening to financial devastate or perform a military invasion of our country (which I am trying to become in charge of), god bless America" wasn't a winning message in Canada, they truly are strange people.
To buy fresh produce knowing it's going to go bad before you use it is to be both prophet and victim of prophecy
April 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
To buy fresh produce knowing it's going to go bad before you use it is to be both prophet and victim of prophecy
So does JD go to the funeral or nah
April 23, 2025 at 4:54 AM
So does JD go to the funeral or nah
*takes drag off cigarette* "They call me the 'Cookie Monster,' but am I monster that loves cookies as a man does, or a man who becomes a monster in the presence of cookies?"
April 15, 2025 at 4:28 PM
*takes drag off cigarette* "They call me the 'Cookie Monster,' but am I monster that loves cookies as a man does, or a man who becomes a monster in the presence of cookies?"
Reposted by Chris is not actually a robot
This nightmare could’ve been avoided if RFK Jr had been elected president 😞
April 11, 2025 at 11:35 PM
This nightmare could’ve been avoided if RFK Jr had been elected president 😞
"We're going to do tarrifs to bring manufacturing back to the USA"
"Oh okay"
"We stopped doing tarrifs"
"Oh. So we're not doing manufacturing here?"
"No we still are"
"Oh. But not the tarrifs that were going to bring the manufacturing here?"
"No :)"
"Oh okay"
"We're doing tarrifs again :)"
"Oh okay"
"We stopped doing tarrifs"
"Oh. So we're not doing manufacturing here?"
"No we still are"
"Oh. But not the tarrifs that were going to bring the manufacturing here?"
"No :)"
"Oh okay"
"We're doing tarrifs again :)"
April 10, 2025 at 1:28 AM
"We're going to do tarrifs to bring manufacturing back to the USA"
"Oh okay"
"We stopped doing tarrifs"
"Oh. So we're not doing manufacturing here?"
"No we still are"
"Oh. But not the tarrifs that were going to bring the manufacturing here?"
"No :)"
"Oh okay"
"We're doing tarrifs again :)"
"Oh okay"
"We stopped doing tarrifs"
"Oh. So we're not doing manufacturing here?"
"No we still are"
"Oh. But not the tarrifs that were going to bring the manufacturing here?"
"No :)"
"Oh okay"
"We're doing tarrifs again :)"