Kandice Martellaro
@kandicemart.bsky.social
TV Writer•Comedian•Horror Director • STAN AGAINST EVIL on IFC & HULU • CZ'S WORLD & HANGING WITH DOCTOR Z on YouTube • DON’T BRING IT IN at SCREAMFEST, SPOOKY EMPIRE, SLEEPY HOLLOW, OH SCARES• Dark & Morbid meets Whimsy
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
I’ve been laying it on thick with Lydia Deetz/ sad goth girl vibes at my haunt gig and it was all worth it tonight for this interaction:
Me: What can I help you with?
Guest: Where’s the escape room?
Me: My life is an escape room.
Me: What can I help you with?
Guest: Where’s the escape room?
Me: My life is an escape room.
September 28, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I’ve been laying it on thick with Lydia Deetz/ sad goth girl vibes at my haunt gig and it was all worth it tonight for this interaction:
Me: What can I help you with?
Guest: Where’s the escape room?
Me: My life is an escape room.
Me: What can I help you with?
Guest: Where’s the escape room?
Me: My life is an escape room.
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
These aren’t new, but they’re new to my neighborhood and now every day I find one on my street that has clearly gotten stuck mid-delivery. It’s just such a great future we have.
September 27, 2025 at 7:47 PM
These aren’t new, but they’re new to my neighborhood and now every day I find one on my street that has clearly gotten stuck mid-delivery. It’s just such a great future we have.
Every time family sends me videos made with AI, I die a little inside.
September 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Every time family sends me videos made with AI, I die a little inside.
Much like The Talking Heads, I too, hate people when they’re not polite.
September 17, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Much like The Talking Heads, I too, hate people when they’re not polite.
When I did DARE in 5th grade, one of my classmates wrote her final essay about how the whole program was a huge waste of time. Officer Amy wouldn’t let her graduate, as a result but I just want to say 24+ years later, Heather, if you’re seeing this, you were a true badass and I still think of you.
D.A.R.E.in
August 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
When I did DARE in 5th grade, one of my classmates wrote her final essay about how the whole program was a huge waste of time. Officer Amy wouldn’t let her graduate, as a result but I just want to say 24+ years later, Heather, if you’re seeing this, you were a true badass and I still think of you.
Someone posted this tweet on instagram and it really got me:
August 10, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Someone posted this tweet on instagram and it really got me:
So, Matt Rife owns the Warrens’ entire museum, including the real life Annabelle doll and this feels like the outcome of a Mad Lib.
August 3, 2025 at 3:20 AM
So, Matt Rife owns the Warrens’ entire museum, including the real life Annabelle doll and this feels like the outcome of a Mad Lib.
That old Mr. Roger’s quote: “Look to the helpers” has been carrying me through. This is hard. I love the people of LA.
July 3, 2025 at 1:10 AM
That old Mr. Roger’s quote: “Look to the helpers” has been carrying me through. This is hard. I love the people of LA.
💀💀💀
I keep getting ads on Facebook for bras with nipples. Which weirdly an unsettlingly scratches my 12 year old desire to be in a Batman movie and also to have boobies.
June 5, 2025 at 5:18 AM
💀💀💀
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
$50! Starting with the least embarrassing: check out this super stylish outfit I wore fishing.
May 28, 2025 at 1:59 AM
$50! Starting with the least embarrassing: check out this super stylish outfit I wore fishing.
I’m a person who often worries that I did something to make other people mad at me, but today a crow swooped down right next to my face and YELLED at me. Everyone knows that crows, famously, remember faces. So, now I get to worry about what I did to make this crow mad at me!
April 7, 2025 at 6:19 AM
I’m a person who often worries that I did something to make other people mad at me, but today a crow swooped down right next to my face and YELLED at me. Everyone knows that crows, famously, remember faces. So, now I get to worry about what I did to make this crow mad at me!
I have so many lovely friends who know that I love Coraline and very kindly will gift me Coraline merchandise (which I LOVE dearly). However (going forward), I do not want to put any more money into Neil Gaiman’s pockets. Please do not spend money on any official Coraline merchandise on my behalf.🖤
March 18, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I have so many lovely friends who know that I love Coraline and very kindly will gift me Coraline merchandise (which I LOVE dearly). However (going forward), I do not want to put any more money into Neil Gaiman’s pockets. Please do not spend money on any official Coraline merchandise on my behalf.🖤
I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!
So excited about this casting and the chance to write for Kathryn a second time!
deadline.com/2025/03/read...
deadline.com/2025/03/read...
Kathryn Newton Reteaming With Radio Silence For Searchlight’s ‘Ready Or Not’ Sequel
Kathryn Newton is reteaming with Radio Silence for 'Ready or Not 2'.
deadline.com
March 7, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
Last May I was walking out of Disneyland to get a sandwich and I stumbled onto Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson shooting promo outside the TARDIS
I happened to be at Disneyland this week again so I had to get a photo to celebrate my own Doctor Who story being announced!
www.rileysilverman.com/books
I happened to be at Disneyland this week again so I had to get a photo to celebrate my own Doctor Who story being announced!
www.rileysilverman.com/books
March 3, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Last May I was walking out of Disneyland to get a sandwich and I stumbled onto Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson shooting promo outside the TARDIS
I happened to be at Disneyland this week again so I had to get a photo to celebrate my own Doctor Who story being announced!
www.rileysilverman.com/books
I happened to be at Disneyland this week again so I had to get a photo to celebrate my own Doctor Who story being announced!
www.rileysilverman.com/books
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
So. They let me write a Doctor Who. @bigfinish.bsky.social
February 28, 2025 at 6:09 PM
So. They let me write a Doctor Who. @bigfinish.bsky.social
I dropped my iphone breaking the display and rendering the phone temporarily unusable and in this time, I have learned two things:
1.) I am completely dependent on my phone to navigate myself pretty much anywhere apart from my regular haunts.
2.)My Garmin from 2011 still works.
1.) I am completely dependent on my phone to navigate myself pretty much anywhere apart from my regular haunts.
2.)My Garmin from 2011 still works.
February 24, 2025 at 7:58 PM
I dropped my iphone breaking the display and rendering the phone temporarily unusable and in this time, I have learned two things:
1.) I am completely dependent on my phone to navigate myself pretty much anywhere apart from my regular haunts.
2.)My Garmin from 2011 still works.
1.) I am completely dependent on my phone to navigate myself pretty much anywhere apart from my regular haunts.
2.)My Garmin from 2011 still works.
My views on the George Hodel theory in the Black Dahlia murder align exactly with @lastpodcast.bsky.social and I feel validated hearing it.
February 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM
My views on the George Hodel theory in the Black Dahlia murder align exactly with @lastpodcast.bsky.social and I feel validated hearing it.
I could never be an actor. If there were ever a scene where I’d need to play a dead body, I’d just be giggling the whole time!
February 10, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I could never be an actor. If there were ever a scene where I’d need to play a dead body, I’d just be giggling the whole time!
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
February 6, 2025 at 8:23 PM
My new hobby is texting my friends out of the blue, unprompted, and saying, “I’m starting to thing OJ did it.”
February 3, 2025 at 5:47 AM
My new hobby is texting my friends out of the blue, unprompted, and saying, “I’m starting to thing OJ did it.”
Last year I tried to drink less Diet Coke but this year, f**k it! I’m drinking alllll of the Diet Coke! While I’m at it, I’m eating all of the sugar and carbs! The next four years (and I truly hope they’re only 4) are about coping.
February 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Last year I tried to drink less Diet Coke but this year, f**k it! I’m drinking alllll of the Diet Coke! While I’m at it, I’m eating all of the sugar and carbs! The next four years (and I truly hope they’re only 4) are about coping.
If you feel like you’re coming completely unglued, please know you’re not alone. I don’t think anyone is doing well right now.
February 1, 2025 at 6:11 PM
If you feel like you’re coming completely unglued, please know you’re not alone. I don’t think anyone is doing well right now.
Reposted by Kandice Martellaro
In the wake of the fires, LA production is hurting even more than before. People can’t afford to live here if there isn’t work here.
Sign our petition at the link in bio STAYinLA.org and share #STAYinLA widely. (And thank you to hireyoungprofessionals.com for designing our campaign!)
Sign our petition at the link in bio STAYinLA.org and share #STAYinLA widely. (And thank you to hireyoungprofessionals.com for designing our campaign!)
#StayinLA
Help Rebuild LA’s Production Industry
The Palisades and Eaton Fires have deepened the crisis for LA’s film/TV workers, small businesses, and families. We need emergency incentives to bring production ...
STAYinLA.org
January 23, 2025 at 6:08 PM
In the wake of the fires, LA production is hurting even more than before. People can’t afford to live here if there isn’t work here.
Sign our petition at the link in bio STAYinLA.org and share #STAYinLA widely. (And thank you to hireyoungprofessionals.com for designing our campaign!)
Sign our petition at the link in bio STAYinLA.org and share #STAYinLA widely. (And thank you to hireyoungprofessionals.com for designing our campaign!)
The end of the movie Se7en:
“Ernest Hemingway once said: “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part.”
Oof do I feel that in this current climate.
“Ernest Hemingway once said: “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part.”
Oof do I feel that in this current climate.
January 25, 2025 at 4:09 AM
The end of the movie Se7en:
“Ernest Hemingway once said: “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part.”
Oof do I feel that in this current climate.
“Ernest Hemingway once said: “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part.”
Oof do I feel that in this current climate.