Kalona
@kalona4.bsky.social
Wife|Mom|Oma
Not too tired to laugh at my own jokes.
Not too tired to laugh at my own jokes.
Reposted by Kalona
Reposted by Kalona
Practising my social skills
July 6, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Practising my social skills
Reposted by Kalona
Sometimes when your post is too long, I just hit “like” and hope for the best 🤞
July 1, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Sometimes when your post is too long, I just hit “like” and hope for the best 🤞
I identify as clumsy.
My pronouns are oops / ouch / oh no.
My pronouns are oops / ouch / oh no.
July 4, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I identify as clumsy.
My pronouns are oops / ouch / oh no.
My pronouns are oops / ouch / oh no.
Reposted by Kalona
Be the reason HR updates their training...
June 30, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Be the reason HR updates their training...
Kid: Grandma would let me.
Me: Well it sounds like my mom is cooler than yours.
Me: Well it sounds like my mom is cooler than yours.
June 29, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Kid: Grandma would let me.
Me: Well it sounds like my mom is cooler than yours.
Me: Well it sounds like my mom is cooler than yours.
But your honor, I take double-dares very seriously...
June 29, 2025 at 2:33 PM
But your honor, I take double-dares very seriously...
Woke up early to go for a run and got as far as I'm still laying here...
June 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Woke up early to go for a run and got as far as I'm still laying here...
I'm really bad at measuring uncooked pasta; so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over... dinner's ready.
June 17, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I'm really bad at measuring uncooked pasta; so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over... dinner's ready.
Reposted by Kalona
Spending more time online because at least you can block people you don’t like here.
June 11, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Spending more time online because at least you can block people you don’t like here.
Friend: "I'm worried about you."
Me: *dunks Oreo in tequila* "Why?"
Me: *dunks Oreo in tequila* "Why?"
June 12, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Friend: "I'm worried about you."
Me: *dunks Oreo in tequila* "Why?"
Me: *dunks Oreo in tequila* "Why?"
Reposted by Kalona
Baby, I want to take you home and correct your grammar
June 9, 2025 at 9:56 AM
Baby, I want to take you home and correct your grammar
Reposted by Kalona
it occurred to me that everything might not be about me (so obviously i shooed that idea away to continue living at the centre of the universe)
June 7, 2025 at 6:36 PM
it occurred to me that everything might not be about me (so obviously i shooed that idea away to continue living at the centre of the universe)
If I knew then what I know now, I would have stayed strangers with a lot of people.
June 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
If I knew then what I know now, I would have stayed strangers with a lot of people.
Reposted by Kalona
not finishing what you started isn’t always lazy, sometimes it’s ok to just say fuck that shit
May 30, 2025 at 1:46 PM
not finishing what you started isn’t always lazy, sometimes it’s ok to just say fuck that shit
Reposted by Kalona
sure sex is fun but have you ever tried sleep
(because omfg 🫦)
(because omfg 🫦)
May 30, 2025 at 6:04 PM
sure sex is fun but have you ever tried sleep
(because omfg 🫦)
(because omfg 🫦)
Friend: I LOVE your lip gloss! What is it?
Me: It's pizza grease...
Me: It's pizza grease...
June 3, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Friend: I LOVE your lip gloss! What is it?
Me: It's pizza grease...
Me: It's pizza grease...
Just put a ball of aluminum foil in the microwave.
We're all going home early today.
We're all going home early today.
June 3, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Just put a ball of aluminum foil in the microwave.
We're all going home early today.
We're all going home early today.
I like to tell people different stories about my life so when they get together and gossip about me, they end up arguing.
June 1, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I like to tell people different stories about my life so when they get together and gossip about me, they end up arguing.
I don't always have time to fold laundry, but when I do...I don't.
May 31, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I don't always have time to fold laundry, but when I do...I don't.
Sometimes you have to let go or be dragged.
May 31, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Sometimes you have to let go or be dragged.
My son was exasperated with his wild child so I looked at him with gentle eyes and said "good luck raising you" and laughed as I walked away.
May 31, 2025 at 2:44 PM
My son was exasperated with his wild child so I looked at him with gentle eyes and said "good luck raising you" and laughed as I walked away.